Handle a Mean Girl

Have you ever been a victim of mean girl bullying? Remember that you are not alone. Read this article so you can have an idea of how to avoid letting those girls get to you.


Understanding a Mean Girl

  1. Know the reason. First and foremost, you should know the reasons why girls treat each other this way. Some typical reasons include:
    • They are jealous of you because you possess something that they don't have, whether it's beauty, talent, good grades, kindness
    • They see you as a threat because you are different: They might even try to steal your friends. Girls who are insecure about themselves don't appreciate it when a girl who is not like them in any way presents something different that what they are offering - so they view you as a threat to them.
    • You get positive attention from boys that they don't get.
    • You have true friends instead of people too scared to be a victim that they suck up to you.
    • You're the new kid and they don't appreciate you getting the most attention.

Empowering Yourself

  1. Empower yourself. A key factor in dealing with any kind of bullying is to remember you are not alone!
    • Go on YouTube and listen to these songs: Mean Girls by Rachel Crow, Who You Are by Jessie J, Who's Laughing Now By Jessie J, Brave by Sara Bareilles, Wings by Little Mix, Mean by Taylor Swift, and Work What You Got by Mary J Blige.
    • Look up material about bullying. Search for girls your age talking about their experiences.
    • Start a thread or a forum and discuss with others their experience with bullies
    • Ask your parents what they went through when they were your age and how they handled it
  2. Ignore the jibes. When they are whispering while you're nearby pretend you don't hear a thing. If it's in class, keep your eyes on the task at hand. Whatever you do, don't respond to their rude remarks. In fact, don't even look in their direction. This will be hard to do but do your best; it takes away their ability to turn it into a tit-for-tat fight.
  3. Smile! In the case these girls decide to make it obvious they're talking to you and humiliate you in front of everyone, look her/them dead in the eye and slowly let a wide grin spread across your face without saying one word. Almost like a smirk. Then right when you see they are caught off guard walk away with that same smile on your face and your head held high. They will be frustrated that their stupid insults didn't affect you!
  4. Smile from the inside out. Make your smile real. How you might ask? As you're watching this bully putting you down think to yourself: "Wow, I bet she still sleeps with a night light and a teddy bear!" sure enough you will begin to smile.
  5. Do things for yourself to make yourself feel confident. Go shopping, take a day for yourself to pamper: pedicure, manicure. You get the point. (However, don't get a makeover or do anything that will change too much about your appearance. This might make the girls think they broke down so much of your confidence that you want to look different, which will please them.) Remember you are doing this for yourself, not to fit in with those little snots. They will have something mean to say about this. When they do, just keep on walking: head held high, shoulders back, good posture, and a big smile. Don't care at all, you are beautiful no matter what a stupid bully says!
  6. Be nice to the mean girls. This will throw them. Instead of getting hurt, they will be forced to face the fact that you only say pleasant things back to them. This sets an example for them and others, but it also makes it very hard for them to respond nastily without looking really petty and cruel, which will then be noticed by everyone around. They themselves have probably been hurt themselves. By being pleasant to them, you show them how to act, and show that you consider them to be obviously immature and in need of help and guidance.
  7. Take care of yourself. Hygiene is important for increasing your confidence. Keep yourself clean by bathing daily, using deodorant, and moisturizing, and take good care of your skin using a daily cleanser that works for you. Investing time in yourself will boost your confidence.

Developing Support Networks

  1. Make a friend. Look for people who have personalities like you. Believe or not, there is strength in numbers. You will feel much better if you have friends to take your side.
  2. Talk to others about how you feel. If you've gone through all of these steps and you still feel bad, talk to a trusted friend. You could even get a counselor, a professional outside of school, someone you feel comfortable with.
  3. Defend others like you. If you see it happening, go report it to an adult immediately. Wait until a little later and ask the person if they are okay and then invite them to eat lunch with you. You never know this could be the person that helps you get through your problem.



  • Know that these girls are haters. They don't contribute anything in your life, so just ignore them.
  • Have confidence and build it up, because any girl who insists on picking on a confident person will end up looking stupid. Love everything about yourself, because even you are unlike anyone else. Embrace yourself and you will find that these haters mean nothing.
  • Following the steps above won't be easy, but keep at it and these girls should leave you alone.
  • Act like they mean nothing to you--in other words, simply ignore them! They don't have any power if you pretend they're not there.
  • If you don't want anyone knowing you're the one who is reporting, call the school and say this: "Hi, I'd like to keep my name anonymous, but I wanted to let you know that ______ is being harassed by _______. Could you please tell the principal to keep an eye out?" This way no one knows you're calling about yourself or a friend of yours.
  • Bullies look for signs after they say something mean to you. If you are upset or crying after they say something mean to you, they know that they are succeeding in making you upset. Reply back smart to a mean comment. For example, if a bully tells you that he/she dislikes your clothes, say, "Thank you!" This will catch the bully off guard.
  • Do not insult her.
  • If you feel that things are getting out of hand, tell your parents, they should know how to handle this situation. Also report this straight to your school principal.
  • Last but not least, here's a little something for you to remember about haters:
    • Have
    • Anger
    • Towards
    • Everyone
    • Reaching
    • Success


  • Do not, in any circumstances, snap back with hurtful insults or comebacks. Everyone around will think you are a bully yourself.
  • If the person gets physical, first look for ways to bail out. If there is none tell the person you don't want to fight, "I'm not looking for a fight, is there a way we could talk this out?" If they throw the first punch and you still can't find a way out, defend yourself the best way you can. The first time this girl hits you, trips you, or does anything else physical, report it immediately.
  • Don't seek revenge. In fact, avoid this person altogether, when they insist on seeking you out then, report back to the above steps.

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