Hide That You've Been Crying

Although crying is a very healthy thing to do, you don’t always want others to know that you’ve been crying. You fear you might be judged for being weak, or you simply don’t want people to ask you what is wrong. Whatever the reason, there are steps you can take to make yourself presentable to the public, and issues to address should you be going through difficult times.

Steps

Restoring Your Appearance

1. Stop crying. You may have to wait a few minutes before you stop crying. You will eventually stop. It is better to let yourself cry than force yourself to stop. Pent up emotions are being expressed when you cry which allows the body to release tension and recover.
   • If you are in a time crunch and you need to stop crying, tell yourself, “You need to stop crying and find the calm inside you.” Repeat this until you stop.
   • You can also purposely startle yourself. This will create a quick shift in your emotions and will help you stop. Simply saying, “Oh!” might do the trick.
   • Redirect your emotions with a pinch to your arm. This can cause enough of a distraction to switch off your crying response.
   • Once you have stopped crying, distract your thoughts away from the reason for crying. If you just received news that someone passed away, focus on what you need to do that day.
   • Crying is related to many positive events as well as sad or maddening events. Allow yourself to cry until you stop.
2. Splash water on your face. When you cry, facial nerves are stimulated, which causes the skin to increase in temperature. Cool water splashed on your face will lessen the heat. Let the water run over your hands and wrists and splash your face a few times. Use a towel or whatever is available to pat your face dry.
3. Blow your nose with a tissue, toilet paper or paper towel. You want to clear you nose of mucus, but blowing it excessively will increase the redness of your nose. Once you've blown your nose, look in a mirror to make sure your nose is clean.
4. Breathe. Take a few cleansing breaths to release the residual emotions and fill your lungs. Crying can constrict your breathing, and slow breathing can restore normal function. Your body will benefit from the additional oxygen.
   • Avoid rapid breathing that can turn into hyperventilating, which can trigger a panic attack.
5. Attend to the redness in your eyes, nose, and face. When a person cries, blood rushes to the face, eyes and nose areas. Once you stop crying, the skin will eventually return to your normal color.
   • Use a cold compress and place it over your eyes, nose and face. This will speed up the calming process.
   • If you are at work or elsewhere and a cold compress is not available, wet paper towels and spin them in the air to cool them. This will do the trick.
   • Fan you face using a piece of paper or whatever you can find to allow air to rush over your face. This will cool your face, which will reduce the redness.
6. Clean make-up from your face and reapply. If you wear makeup, remove any residual make up with a wet tissue or towel. If you are at home, use makeup remover. Use a concealer to cover the reddened areas, and finish with a dusting of powder. Reapply your lipstick and you are almost ready.
7. Use eye drops to remove the redness from your eyes. If you don’t have any eye drops, you will simply need to wait until your eyes clear or put your sunglasses on to hide your eyes.

Regrouping and Moving Forward

1. Check yourself in the mirror. If you want to make sure you are presentable, the mirror will tell you. If your hair looks good, your face looks good, and your clothes are situated like you want, then you are ready.
2. Tell yourself you’re okay. You might need to give yourself a little boost to rise to the occasion of facing the crowd. Try some positive self-talk and say, “Okay, you’ve got this. You are going to hold it together. We are moving on.”
3. Focus on something positive. The feelings of whatever it was that made you cry might return to upset you again. If you start to feel emotional, stop yourself and substitute a positive thought. Pick a subject matter that is not closely related to the reason you are crying. The goal is to refocus your attention away from issue at hand.
   • Tell yourself, “You are going to think about something positive like how much you love going to the beach. Yes, that is what you are focusing on now.”
   • Think about a project you are working on. Make a mental list of the steps you need to take and when you will get them accomplished. Imagine how happy you will be when it is complete. This will carry you out of the emotional darkness you might be feeling.
4. Act like you are happy until it passes. You may not be an actor, but your body doesn’t know that. The power of suggestion can be very effective. As you enter the crowd, perk up, smile and tell yourself, “You are feeling good and you are happy.” Send yourself on your way filled with positive thoughts.

Addressing Your Emotions

1. Show yourself some compassion. You were crying for some reason. If you have gone through a difficult time, you need to allow yourself to feel the emotions that made you cry. You also need to determine if the frequency and duration of your crying is excessive.
   • Was this an isolated incident or something that is happening often?
   • If you find yourself crying uncontrollably for an extended period of time, you need to talk to someone about getting help.
   • Be kind to yourself during this time. Forcing yourself to stop crying is difficult to manage. Suppressing your feelings can cause negative results.
2. Communicate your concerns. If the reason for your emotional upheaval is due to a relationship, work or family conflict, you must communicate your concerns. In order to resolve any conflict you need to find a way to be heard.
   • Write down your concerns. This will help you focus on the problem.
   • Next, write possible solutions to these problems.
   • Practice saying your concerns out loud so you will be calm, prepared and focused for the conversation.
   • Communicate with the person to express your concerns. Start by saying, “I’ve been thinking a lot about what has been going on and I want to resolve this issue. Will you hear me out?” This will provide a lead-in to addressing your concerns.
3. Seek help if you are struggling. It takes bravery and courage to ask for help. If you are struggling with school life, family life or life in general, contact a trusted source to talk about getting help. There are resources available to you either at school, or from a private provider such as a counselor or doctor. Talking with someone will help you sort out your struggles and develop an effective approach to handle anything.
   • If you cannot stop crying and find yourself crying for most of the day, you should call a counselor or a doctor to seek help. If you have suffered a great loss, crying can be considered normal for a period of time. Grief counseling will help.
   • Art therapy is also available and can be extremely beneficial.

Tips

• Crying is an emotional expression that is normal and healthy.
• People cry for all sorts of reasons including but not limited to: being happy, sad, angry, embarrassed, excited, lonely, exhausted, and scared. It is a normal response.
• Use a pair of sunglasses to cover up red eyes.
• Always bring tissue to an event that may elicit a crying response. For example, weddings, funerals, graduations, and award ceremonies.
• A good cry will results in feelings of relief and eventual calm.
• Some people cry a lot and some people don’t cry very often. Everyone is different.

Warnings

• Society can send the wrong message that crying is negative.
• Just because people don’t cry a lot doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings.
• Holding back from crying when your body wants to can be harmful.

Related Articles

• Hide Tears at School

Sources and Citations

See also

• Comfort Someone Who Is Crying
• Hold Back Tears
• Cry and Let It All Out
• Not Cry
• Stop Yourself from Crying
• Hide Tears at School
• Disguise a Crying Jag Face
• Comfort a Crying Woman
• Get Rid of Puffy Eyes from Crying
• Stop Crying