Hold in a Fart

You're on a date, sitting in math class, or just in a room full of people in a really quiet place and you feel the urge to pass gas. In an ideal world, you would be able to just run off and let the fart out of your system, but you may not always have the option. Sometimes, the only thing you can do is to hold in your fart to avoid embarrassment. So how do you do it? See Step 1 to get started.

Steps

Strategies for Holding in Your Fart

  1. Clench your butt-cheeks. Think of it this way: if there's no space between your butt-cheeks, then how can the fart get out? Though this can be a bit painful and can't be sustained for that long, if you clench your cheeks, you will prevent your fart from escaping. To do this, you really have to tighten your anus and have it stay that way; if you let go, you are more likely to release the fart. If you're lucky, doing this for long enough can help the fart get "sucked up" back in your body — just know that this isn't a permanent solution, and that the fart may return with more force than before.
  2. Slowly change positions. Sometimes you may just need to wiggle around a bit to move that fart to a different part of your body. Just don't make any sudden movements or the fart may be more likely to come out. If you're sitting, try standing up. If you're standing, sit down. If you're sitting but can't get up, try shifting from one butt cheek to the other.
  3. Lean back in a chair. This is another time-tested strategy. If you're sitting down and need to fart, place both hands on the arm rests, put your weight on your toes, and gently lean forward a bit, lifting your bum off the seat. This can sometimes help the urge to fart go away, as pointing your toes and leaning up can also help you clench your anus a bit.
  4. Lie down. If you're sitting up or standing and need to fart, sometimes lying down can help you change positions and get rid of the urge to fart. If you're hanging out with friends, this can be hard to pull off, but if you're all sitting around watching TV, see if you can sprawl out on the couch or do something that helps you hold in your fart while looking pretty natural.
  5. Stand really upright. If you're standing and have the urge to fart, improve your posture, try to move your head as high up as you can, and help your body become more erect. This can help the fart have more room to move around your body without releasing.
  6. Shift from cheek to cheek. If you're sitting and feel the urge to pass gas, one thing you can do is to delicately shift from cheek to cheek. Sometimes, this motion is all you need to make that farting feeling go away temporarily. This can also help you release the fart in a less noisy manner, if push comes to shove. The problem with this maneuver is that it can look a bit obvious, so you may want to make it look like you're suddenly fascinated by something to the right of you — and then to the left of you...
  7. Know that holding your fart will make it louder when the time comes. Though holding in your farts can be a great short-term strategy, know that a fart rarely just "disappears." These strategies can help you minimize embarrassment, but eventually, your fart will come back — with more power than before.[1]
  8. Know that holding in farts regularly may cause bloating and cramps. Though the jury is still out on whether holding in a fart is bad for your health, some doctors do agree that doing this routinely can cause bloating and cramps. So, if you're in a public situation, you can hold your fart in as much as possible, but as soon as you can, relax every part of your body, stand up, and let all systems go.[2]

Strategies for Farting Quietly

  1. Slowly release the fart. If you're in public and have no escape route and know that the fart is coming on any second now, then your best bet is to slowly release it. Carefully and slowly unclench your butt cheeks, wiggle around a bit, and then let the fart slowly escape from your body. If you let it out all at once, it'll be more likely to make a loud noise.
  2. Make a loud noise to cover the fart. So this isn't the most ideal maneuver, but sometimes, you just know you have to fart, and you have no option but to make a loud noise or to cause a diversion when you know the time has come. Here are some things you can do:
    • Cough loudly
    • Laugh loudly
    • Drop a textbook
    • Turn on the radio
    • Set off a phone alarm
  3. Make an excuse to leave so you can fart. This is the easiest way to fart and get away with it. If it's possible, then you should simply excuse yourself for a minute and then go and do your business. Here are the easiest things you can do:
    • Pretend to take a phone call
    • Go "check something out" on the other side of the room
    • Say you need some fresh air
    • Say you want to wash your hands
    • Use the bathroom

Minimizing Flatulence

  1. Eat less of the foods that cause gas. Some foods that are rich in sulfur may make you pass gas more often — not to mention that they may make those farts smell even worse! Foods filled with carbohydrates are also more likely to make you pass gas, but every person has his own "trigger foods". Though you shouldn't avoid these foods entirely, you can cut back on them if you know you'll be going to a place where you may not want to fart. Foods that are known to cause gas include:
    • Vegetables such as beans, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, brussels sprouts, onions, and mushrooms
    • Fruits such as apples, peaches, and pears
    • Bran and whole wheat products
    • Milk products such as cheese, yogurt, and ice cream
    • Eggs
    • Carbonated drinks, such as sodas
  2. Avoid eating or drinking too fast. Another reason why you may have gas is because you down your food or drinks too quickly and don't give your body time to properly digest your food. The next time you eat, make a conscious effort to slow down and to carefully chew your food until each bite is thoroughly digested. Stop eating on the run, if that's what you do, and make an effort to slow down and eat a few minutes earlier if you need to. If you like soda, make sure you sip it slowly instead of downing it in three gulps, or you're guaranteed to make the gas situation worse.
  3. Avoid chewing gum or sucking on hard candy. The repeated motion that accompanies chewing gum or sucking on hard candy can actually make you fart more. This can especially be the case if you're doing this on an empty stomach. If you want to minimize your embarrassment, then cut back on the chewing gum and hard candy. Chewing rapidly causes you to swallow extra air, and leads down to the breakdown of food in your gut, which can cause farting.[1]
  4. Consider over-the-counter medications. Though this isn't necessary and should only be used if you really have a problem with this, you can consider taking some over-the-counter medication to relieve your symptoms of flatulence. You can take something like Beano, Gas-X, Mylanta Gas, or even Lactase tablets. The medications tend to break down sugar in your body, making your food easier to digest. However, talking to your doctor before you make this a regular habit can help you have a better sense of what you really need.
  5. Get enough exercise. Sometimes people can fart more just because they aren't getting regular exercise or that they're sitting for prolonged periods of time — these two things tend to go hand in hand. If you make a goal of exercising for at least 30 minutes a day and moving around as much as you can throughout the day, then your body will be in better shape overall and you'll be less likely to pass gas. Exercise also helps you get rid of the extra air in your system.[1]
  6. Remember that passing gas is a normal part of life. Everybody farts. This bodily function is perfectly natural and healthy. The average person farts between 14 and 21 times a day — even if he/she doesn't realize it. Don't think that there's something wrong with you just because you pass gas occasionally.[1]



Tips

  • If all else fails and the fart does come out noticeably, don't let it get to you. People will move on and forget it with time. The best thing to do is laugh about it so people can't use it against you.
  • Enjoy the easiness that you feel after releasing clogged up gas.
  • Also when slowly releasing a fart, make sure not to push on your butt while sitting.
  • If you are in a situation where there can no longer hold in a fart, or make a loud noise, for example, in the middle of the progress check, then try to issue a series of quiet sounds. Just squeeze the buttocks, and then slowly move one and release gases. So you can fart three or more times, but the sound will be much quieter than once.

Warnings

  • Don't hold it in for too long. If you hold it in for hours, your intestine will start hurting and, in severe cases, you can end up in the hospital.
  • The fart will come back later, only it will be bigger, harder to hold in and possibly louder and smellier also nastier.
  • When "slow release" is in progress, be sure that it is gas bubbles and not the other not so pleasant excess.

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 http://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/rm-quiz-fart-quiz
  2. ↑ http://www.oprah.com/health/Your-Questions-Answered
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