Make Your Girlfriend Want to Spend Time Alone with You

Before you invite your girlfriend over to your house you should both have an established and healthy relationship. Working together to create a stable relationship will make meeting up in any place, either at your house or somewhere else, much more comfortable. Strive to create the best relationship you can to improve your time together, wherever you choose to meet.

Steps

Improving Your Relationship

  1. Explore and share your interests. Finding common ground with shared interests is a great way to build a better bond between you and your girlfriend. By sharing what your interests are with each other, you can find out which ones you have in common and might enjoy together.[1]
  2. Plan some activities that your girlfriend might like. Talk with your girlfriend and learn about what interests she has and any activities she enjoys. Once you have a good idea what she might like to do, plan to do some of those things with her.
    • For example, if your girlfriend likes to paint, try taking her to a painting class and paint together.
  3. Practice open communication. Openly and honestly communicating your needs, or having your partner discuss what they need, is a required part of any good relationship. Keeping the lines of communication open will allow for honest expression and will make sure both peoples needs are being met.[2]
    • Honesty needs to be allowed for in conversations.
    • Both parties need to be allowed to speak about their feelings in regards to the relationship or any other topic.
    • Actively listen to what your partner may say. Hear them objectively and fairly, without adding your own meaning.
    • Always use “I” statements when talking about your feelings regarding the relationship.
    • Avoid getting defensive if you hear something you don't like.
    • Avoid using “You” statements and respond fairly with your own thoughts and feelings.
  4. Spend the right amount of time together. Regardless of where you meet, you and your girlfriend will have to work together to find the right amount of time you might want to spend together. Each couple will have individualized amounts of time that they may want to spend together. You will have to find out how much time together is right for both of you.[3]
    • You will likely both have different preferences in how much time you want to spend together. Some favour independence while others require more time together. Work together to find the best balance between both of your needs.
    • Ask your girlfriend directly what her needs are. This is the most direct way to assess how much time spent together is best.
    • Don't forget to spend time with your friends and family. Bring your girlfriend into your existing social circles for a great way to include them in your new relationship.[1]
    • Set aside time together. Try to make a set time for you both to spend together and keep it.
    • Requirements for time together may change over time. Respect both your partners needs and your own when it comes to the amount of time being spent together.

Maintaining Your Relationship

  1. Make sure your relationship is a healthy one. There are signs in any relationship that can be indicative of it being a healthy one. If you should notice any signs that might indicate your relationship is unhealthy, you should work to improve those aspects or consider leaving the relationship.[4]
    • You should both have mutual respect, trust, honesty, and support in your relationship.
    • Your relationship should also have elements of fairness and the preservation of your own identities.
    • Both of you should have open communication with each other.
    • If you feel danger, fear, mistrust, manipulated, controlled, or otherwise unsafe your relationship is likely unhealthy.
  2. Respect both yourself and your girlfriend. Remember that you both are individuals with your own needs and wants, which need to be respected. Never try to disrespect something your partner may need or want. Work together to make your relationship one of trust and respect to improve your bond.[5]
    • Never lose your temper during a discussion or argument. Avoid name calling or verbal attacks.
    • Apologize and forgive. Do not become resentful for any feelings of wrong doing after they have been addressed.
    • Know that you can argue without fighting.[6]
  3. Take care of any issues as you become aware of them. Ignoring any trouble in the relationship will likely only make it worse. When you feel the time is right, try your best to openly and fairly address any potential problems you feel have arisen in your relationship.[5]
    • Leaving problems for later can cause resentment over time.
    • Letting old problems go unresolved may cause defensiveness and create difficulties in communication.
    • Discuss the issue when the time is right. Sometimes you will need to wait for the right moment to discuss the issue. A simple rule is to never discuss an important issue while angry.[1]

Inviting Your Girlfriend To Your House

  1. Make sure you inform people you live with. Similar to any other time you might invite someone over to your house, you should let those you live with know. It's polite to inform them and allows them to properly plan their own time during the visit.
  2. Plan activities for the visit. This will be determined largely by what you and your girlfriend like to do during your time together. Make the visit a fun one by doing things you both love. Try some of the following examples:
    • Watch a movie or TV show.
    • Cook dinner together.
    • Dance to some of your favorite music.
  3. Invite your girlfriend over to your house. Once it feels appropriate to you and you have established a good relationship with your girlfriend, you can invite her to your house. Let her know when and what you have planned.
    • Don't have any expectations when you ask. The response is entirely up to your girlfriend.
    • If she says yes, enjoy your time together.
    • If she doesn't want to visit you at your house, do not become upset. Suggest another place and time to meet.
  4. Clean your house. First impressions matter and having a dirty or messy house can make any new guest uncomfortable. Make sure your house is clean before inviting your girlfriend over to make the visit comfortable. Try to clean up the most common areas of the house:
    • Vacuum or sweep floors.
    • Clean and dust surfaces.
    • Tidy up items around the house.
    • Do any dishes or laundry.
    • Take out garbage as it can cause your house to smell bad.

Tips

  • Don't rush. Make sure each step of your relationship is a healthy one that you are both comfortable with.
  • Open communication is a great way to improve any relationship.
  • Make your house inviting by cleaning it before your girlfriend visits.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 http://www.cmhc.utexas.edu/vav/vav_healthyrelationships.html
  2. ↑ https://well.wvu.edu/articles/the_language_of_love__communication_skills_for_couples
  3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201406/how-much-time-should-couples-spend-together
  4. ↑ http://www.tacoma.washington.edu/studentaffairs/SHW/documents/Health%20topics/Healthy%20vs%20Unhealthy%20Relationships.pdf
  5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200410/relationship-rules
  6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201201/7-keys-healthy-and-happy-relationship
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