Meet Your Girlfriend's Parents for the First Time
If you are scared to meet your girlfriend's parents, just remember they were your age once too. Relax, and realize that if your girlfriend wants to bring you to meet her family, it means she's serious about you, and wants to begin the process of integrating you with them. If you feel the same way about her, you'll want to make a good impression on them - and remember, you won't get a second chance to make a first impression, so make it a great one!
Contents
Steps
- Dress nicely. Her family will like someone who looks mature and put together. Don't wear jeans that hang to the floor. That looks cheap. Even though it may sound really stupid, do your hair, because ratty hair is unprofessional. Be you, but be clean cut.
- Use respectful language. The words "Sir" and "Ma'am" may seem outdated, but they are very useful for having the appearance of class and charisma. Also, ALWAYS use "Please" and "Thank you". Depending on the mother, "Miss" may be more appropriate- its connotation is younger and more vivacious.
- Do not show excessive or even standard displays of affection with their daughter. If you do they probably won't want you dating their daughter It is something that may be fine in the future, but is not respectful to begin with.
- Tell the truth when they ask questions of you. They need to know the real you!
- Have fun. Try not to be too nervous. Most families are not really gunning for you - they realize their daughter has feelings for you and believe it or not, they want to like you (who wants to believe their daughter is in love with some lowlife?), so just take a deep breath and remember that you're there for your girl.
- Be yourself - just try to act normally. Avoid using slang, and most especially, do not swear or use insulting or derogatory language in their home.
- Smile and offer your hand to shake. When your hand is grasp, grasp their hand warmly, not to too tight, and definitely not too limp. Look them right in the eye and say, "It's so nice to meet you finally." It will make a nice impression.
- Find a way to give an honest compliment. It can be, "this is a nice home," or "What a beautiful scarf, Mrs. Cruz."
- Don't yawn or sigh. Similarly, don't keep checking your watch or phone for the time - the last thing you want is for them to think you are counting the minutes until you can get away.
- Don't brag or boast. It's fine to talk about your work, your hobbies, your family. But be humble (without being overly self-deprecating) and show an interest in their activities and livelihoods - what they say to you will be far more important than what you say to them if they feel you are interested in them. They will tend to like you better if you show an interest in the things they are interested in - just like anyone will.
- Be yourself. Though this was mentioned before, it's is one of the key essentials. If you're a funny guy, mix a joke or two in the conversation. If you are musically incline, mention an instrument you play, or a group you think they'd like.
- Treat their daughter with respect. Treat her parents with respect. If you respect them , you get on their good side. If you respect their daughter in front of them, they'll see that you are indeed a good fellow, and will like you more.
- Find a common ground for you to discuss with them. It will not only show them that you have common ground with them, but your girlfriend will love that fact that you and her parents have something in common. It'll be something calming, soothing, and sweet.
Tips
- Be yourself.
- Smile.
- Compliment.
- Don't use foul language.
- Prevent yourself from saying anything stupid.
- Have fun.
- Don't be afraid to ask them questions if you don't know them well.
- Don't get too nervous.
- Take deep breaths before meeting them or when you are alone e.g. in the bathroom.
- If you are younger, sometimes it is expected for you to ask permission to take their daughter out for the evening. e.g. if it's ok with you sir/ma'am, I would like to take your daughter out for a movie and dinner.
Warnings
- Be careful about how much Public Display of Affection you give your girlfriend in front of her parents. It may make her feel uncomfortable or may make the situation awkward. Definitely be more on the reserved side - it's far better for them to see you holding hands while you watch TV than it is to see you wrapped around one another, playing tonsil hockey.
- They might not accept you. Some families can be quite "clannish" - in other words, they take a long time to warm up to new people. Be patient, and accept that they may not take to you right away.
