Obey Your Parents

It can be very difficult to obey your parents, but they ultimately have authority over you until you are an adult. While you should not push away all your feelings just to obey your parents, learning to obey your parents will cement a positive and a long lasting relationship. And guess what--it makes your parents happier so they may be healthier and live way longer!

Steps

  1. Have the desire. Wanting to obey your parents is the first step, as a desire to achieve something is the first step toward success in attaining it. Recognize the benefits of the virtue of humility and obedience; acknowledge that the family will be much more peaceful than it would otherwise be, if you can submit to your parents' devotion and diligence in bringing you up. You may not like this immediately, but your parents are the people who gave you your life, and therefore you have a duty to obey them, regardless of whether or not you want to. Having the desire to obey them, however, will make all of your lives much easier and is very likely to gain you a happy, long-lasting relationship.
  2. Accept their opinions. Again, you have a right to have your own opinions, but you do not have a right to disrespect those of your parents. Keep in mind that you can disagree politely with them, but this does not mean that yelling and talking back is necessary or acceptable. Respect things that your parents say to you, and do your best to show respect and obedience for their ideas and instructions. If you do not know what you are supposed to do, ask politely. They will appreciate your efforts and they will tell you so.
  3. Respect and obey. When your parents tell you to do something, such as cleaning your room, tell them that you will do it diligently and take action. After you are done, go back to your parents and tell them, "Mom/Dad, I obeyed your instructions." Then respond politely and humbly to any thanks they may give you, and go do what you have to do next. Be kind to your parents, and know that, even though they might ask you to do things you do not like to do sometimes, they still love you and will love you forever.
  4. Stop procrastinating. The most common response when authority figures tell an inferior to do something the inferior is reluctant to do is, "I'll do it later." While this may seem like a handy phrase to say, it is quite disrespectful. Carefully avoid this; stop procrastinating and pushing things back until the last minute. Be a son or daughter who values the words of his/her superiors and works to fulfill their desires.
  5. Cultivate the diligence. When you prepare to obey your parents, tell yourself to do it well. Be capable, reliable and responsible. Once your parents see that you can do this, you will eventually start earning new privileges, often privileges that you have always wanted.
  6. Keep overload at bay. If you feel that your parents are giving you too much work or seeing your respect and obedience but never rewarding it, tell them courteously and request what you want. You do not have authority over them. But you do have it over yourself.

Tips

  • Use consideration. If you put yourself in your parents' shoes, you will gradually begin to feel deep respect for them, and they will certainly love you better.
  • Tell the truth. This has probably been said much too often, but it's true--if you lie to your parents, they will find out. Even if you don't want to, tell your parents the truth. They will certainly be appreciative of your honesty and filial piety, and may reward you someday.
  • Have gratitude. Remember to take some time each day to remind your parents of how much you love them. Remind them how much you appreciate all they do for you.

Warnings

  • Be wholehearted. You have a filial duty to respect, obey and honor your parents, so do not do it just because you want something from them. If you want something, simply ask for it, and do something to earn it if your parents demand it. But you needn't fight for it with feigned respect and obedience. This not only immoral, but cruel.
  • Never be afraid. If your parents are shouting at you or doing something inappropriate such as hurting your feelings, don't talk back. Simply remain silent, wait till they are calm, and then politely ask for an apology. Then, forgive them and apologize for what you did, if you did something.

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