Prepare for the Arrival of a Newborn As a Father
Once you overcome the nervousness (well some of it anyway), the excitement kicks in: you're going to become a new parent. You can't wait to get your baby home, and start your life as a family. Or can you? Here are some father specific steps you can take to prepare yourself for your new little one.
Contents
Steps
- Make sure that you start catching up on sleep and relaxing now, as much as possible. You're going to need it.
- Help your partner set up the baby's room. You can put the furniture together, and paint the room (if it's needed). Chances are, they'll appreciate any and all help they can get.
- Parenting classes can be helpful for new parents and parents to be. They will show you how to do all kinds of things, from changing diapers, to bathing your baby.
- Read the parenting books, they offer a lot of information for new parents and parents-to-be.
- Know how to properly put your baby's car seat into your car. Studies have shown that many baby seats are installed the wrong way.
- Discuss your fears and insecurities with a family member or friend. If you are worried about having a baby, then your partner is even more so. Focus on supporting your partner by listening to them and providing reassurance. Now is not the time to express your own doubts and insecurities to your partner, they are probably already feeling even more overwhelmed than you are.
- Sing and talk to the baby before it's born. Really. It can certainly hear you, and the more it hears your voice, the more it will be reassured by being close to you after it's born.
- Talk about your partner's expectations of you during the birth. If you feel that there is any doubt about your ability to provide her with the support she's going to need, tell her now! She can then make alternate arrangements to have a relative, friend, or doula come in to help too.
- Cut your new family some slack - having visitors, no matter if it's your parents, her parents or the President, is going to be tough. Too many cooks spoil the soup - tell everyone to wait for two weeks before planning visits and longer stays.
- You and your partner have been through the wringer over the last 9 months - now that you've made it to the next stage, all three of you deserve a moment to check in and get acquainted with each other.
- In-laws (yours or hers) can add an element of stress and complexity that can be overwhelming at this very vulnerable stage. Make sure all three of you are ready.
Tips
- Call your pediatrician whenever you're worried - even for a diaper rash, if you feel unsure. You'll be more relaxed if you get answers you can trust, and a relaxed parent makes a relaxed baby.
- You're not alone! All of your worries, concerns and fears are normal. There are a lot of websites out there specifically targeted at new dads. Do a search online for "new dad" or "new father", and you'll find a huge range of websites and online communities that can help.
- Even if your baby is a newborn, it is never too early to start baby-proofing your home. Safety gates (especially by stairs) plastic socket protectors, and putting small items away or up high, will be a big help later on. Your baby will be on the move before you know it.
- No matter how much you prepare for parenthood, it will still throw you some curves. Your parenting instincts will kick in; do what you feel is right (except when it's a situation that can only be handled by your baby's pediatrician).
- Catching up on nursery rhymes and kid friendly songs, will come in handy.
- You can call a fire station in your area for more information on correctly installing your baby's car seat.
Warnings
- Don't bounce your baby after he or she eats, then hand him over to a friend or family member, it's like handing someone a shook up can of soda.
- This is probably the hardest thing you have ever had to do but it is possible and most problems will clear up after a week - ask your friends and family how they got through the stuff you are dealing with.
- Do not diagnose a symptom yourself (unless you are a pediatrician) even with a little flu, you need to take your baby in to be checked by a professional.
- Don't assume anything about parenthood, it will constantly surprise and confuse you.
- Never get aggravated with the baby, its ok for you to walk away.
