React when Your Teenager Is Wearing Diapers

Catching your teenager wearing diapers or in possession of them can be very confusing. However, staying calm and reacting properly is very important, as doing the wrong thing can be traumatic for your child.

Steps

Having a Discussion

  1. Write out your feelings in a letter. It can be shocking to discover your teen is wearing diapers. However, it's important to remain calm and address the situation from a place of love and support. It can be helpful to write out your feelings in a letter ahead of time so you do not confront your teen when you are still emotional and confused.[1]
    • Write a letter you do not intend to send. Try to get your initial reaction out on the page. Include all raw emotions, including negative feelings like anger, fear, and frustration. It's important you let these feelings out so they do not crop up in conversation. You want your teen to feel safe and supported when you talk.[1]
    • Once you are done, set the letter aside for a few hours. Try to do something to get your mind off the situation. Watch television. Read. Go for a walk. Then, read the letter to revisit your emotions briefly.[1]
    • Remember, this letter is to allow you to process feelings. Talking to your teenager about wearing diapers can be an intimidating experience. You want to make sure your initial reaction is released in some manner before confronting your teen. After rereading your letter, destroy it and move on.[1]
  2. Speak from the heart. When confronting your teen about his or her diaper use, try to approach them from a place of love. Speaking from your heart means going into the conversation with the right motives and intentions.
    • Remember, you are talking to your teen because you are concerned. Try to leave judgment and other assumptions behind. Begin the conversation from a place of love. Say something like, "I'm bringing this up because I love you and I'm concerned with these choices."[2]
    • Try to put love first throughout the conversation. When having a difficult conversation about any topic it can be tempting to try to "win." That is, you may feel tempted to try and convince your teen that your way of thinking and acting is proper. However, having a difficult conversation is not about winning. It's about finding a solution that's mutually beneficial to all involved. If you find yourself feeling judgmental or frustrated during the conversation, try to think to yourself, "I am having this conversation because I love and care about my child."[2]
  3. Create a safe space for dialogue. Teens are notoriously difficult when it comes to opening up. Wearing a diaper is an embarrassing issue and your teen may be wary to discuss the situation with you. Try to create a safe, open space for dialogue that allows you teen to be honest with you.[2]
    • People tend to feel safe when working towards a mutual purpose. If your teen feels like he or she is being lectured or scolded, he or she will be less likely to open up. Try to make it clear that you're seeking to understand your teen's perspective and help him or her with any issues, medical or otherwise.
    • Mutual respect also helps foster a safe space. Try to be as non-judgmental as possible during the situation. Make it clear to your teen that despite your concerns you still respect him or her as a person. Avoid judgmental phrasing and practice active listening. Nod and maintain eye contact to show you are paying attention. Reiterate what your teen had said when he or she finishes talking to clarify that he or she is being heard and understood.[2]
  4. Try to step into your teenager's shoes. Empathy is key to addressing a difficult subject. Although it may be hard, try to imagine what you're teenager is experiencing and why.
    • Before you even begin the conversation, try to understand your teen's perspective. Do not speculate as to why he or she is wearing diapers. Rather, try to imagine how you would feel being confronted about a potentially embarrassing problem. What emotions would you experience? How would you react? Try to imagine how hard this is for your teen. Keep this perspective in mind when confronting your teenager.[1]
    • Listen to what your teen says and try to understand. Regardless of your teen's reasoning, make a conscious effort to put yourself in your teen's shoes. Make an effort to understand where he or she is coming from. Empathy is key to effectively coping with a difficult issue.[1]

Exploring Possible Causes

  1. Learn about paraphilic infantilism. Paraphilic infantilism is a rare sexual disorder in which an individual derives sexual pleasure from being treated like an infant. If your son or daughter claims to be interested in diapers in a sexual fashion, make an effort to learn about this disorder.
    • People with paraphilic infantilism enjoy role playing as an infant. In addition to diaper wearing, this may include wet nursing, being fed with a bottle, talking like a baby, being spanked, and playing with baby toys. While the disorder is mentioned in the DSM, studies on the subject are still limited. The precise cause and risk factors for paraphilic infantilism are not yet known.[3]
    • While usually sexual in nature, many people who wear diapers and engage in role playing as an infant do not associate the behavior with sexual pleasure. They may simply feel compelled to behave like an infant.[3]
    • For the majority of people, paraphilic infantilism has relatively little effect on day-to-day life. Many people with paraphilic infantilism hold down stable jobs, have healthy sexual relationships, and are relatively stable and well adjusted. While the practice may seem odd, it's usually harmless.[4]
    • In rare cases cases paraphilic infantilism is associated with other disorders like depression and anxiety. Thoughts of suicide and suicide attempts sometimes occur with patients exhibiting paraphilic infantilism.[3]
  2. Ask about bedwetting. Another reason your teen may be wearing diapers is bed wetting. Your teen may be embarrassed to discuss issues of incontinence with you. However, if your teen is having issues with bladder control overnight it's important you evaluate the cause. Bed wetting can be caused by medical ailments but can also be the result of anxiety, depression, and other psychiatric issues.[5]
    • Introduce the topic of bed wetting carefully to your teen. Say something like, "I know this might be embarrassing to discuss, but I want to make sure you're okay physically. Can you talk to me about the bathroom issues you've been having?"
    • Bed wetting should be evaluated by a doctor to rule out underlying medical conditions as a cause.
  3. Watch for signs of depression and anxiety. As paraphilic infantilism and bed wetting are both occasionally a sign of an underlying mental illness, you should watch for signs of depression and anxiety in your teen. Depression and anxiety may manifest in your teen in the following ways:
    • Feelings of sadness, worthlessness, or helplessness
    • Change in eating or sleeping habits
    • Loss of interest in day-to-day activities
    • Irritability
    • Lack of energy[6]
    • If you think your teen may need a therapist, you can find a therapist by going through your insurance. You should be able to find a list of therapists in your area that take your insurance plan. You can also ask for a referral from your teen's regular physician. If money is an issue, many therapists work on a sliding scale. There are also usually free or discount clinics in major metropolitan areas for people on a budget.
  4. See a doctor for a medical evaluation. Bed wetting often has a medical cause. In teens, hormones can cause bed wetting. Small bladders and certain genetic disorders may also be to blame for teenage incontinence. If your teen has been having trouble bed wetting, take him or her to the doctor for a physical and any other tests the doctor may think are necessary.[5]

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/turning-point/201405/how-have-difficult-conversations
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 http://blogs.psychcentral.com/emotionally-sensitive/2012/09/effective-conversations-about-difficult-issues/
  3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 3.2 https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-excess/201310/childs-play
  4. ↑ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24473941
  5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 http://www.familyhealthonline.ca/fho/adolescent/AD_teenBedwetting_fhb08.asp
  6. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/teen-depression-signs-help.htm
Retrieved from "https://kipkis.com/index.php?title=React_when_Your_Teenager_Is_Wearing_Diapers&oldid=298676"