Run Away from Home As a Teen

Running away is a last resort that should only be attempted in the most serious of situations. In many cases, running away can make whatever problem you are trying to escape even worse. It will be also hard to find a place to stay. Be sure you have exhausted every option available to you before you begin considering running away, and in the event this is the only option available to you, do not make any hasty decisions. Your safety should always be your number one priority. Remember to keep all variables in mind as you read this article.

If you're considering running away or have already run away and need someone to talk to, see the at the bottom of this article.

Steps

Evaluating Your Situation

1. Have a good reason for leaving. Do not run away for kicks, adventure, or to teach your parents a lesson. Living on the streets is a harsh environment, and nature will not provide you with blankets when you are cold or food when you are hungry. If you are being abused or neglected, the safest solution is to call Children's Aid or the police before trying to run away.
   • Some teens, especially those with troubled families, think that foster care is worse than running away. Whatever your experience may be, the majority of foster parents truly care about the health and well being of their foster children.
2. Don't hold false perceptions. Running away from home is hard. You will be separated from the places you are familiar with, the people who know and support you, and you will be completely responsible for meeting all your basic needs. Even adults struggle with daily life - don't think this will be any different for you.
   • You may feel like running away is your only solution, but this kind of thinking is never accurate. There are always many solutions to a problem, and running away should be the last solution you are willing to try.
   • As a teen, it will be difficult for you to make money to pay for food and shelter. Unfortunately, because of this reason, around 1 in 3 teens who run away resort to trading sexual favors for food or a place to stay. This will put you at risk for sexually transmitted diseases and sexual abuse or manipulation.
3. Evaluate your reason(s) for leaving. You may believe that your reason, or your several reasons, for running away from home are strong justification for wanting to do so. However, when you feel strongly about something, it can be difficult to think clearly. Take time to carefully think about why you want to run away, get as much perspective on your issue as you can. Be sure you are not making a hasty decision.
   • It is never OK to run away because of your:
     • Alcohol use
     • Drug use
     • Feelings of failure
4. Think about getting anonymous advice. There are hotlines available for teens in difficult situations, and these are well equipped to listen to your problem and offer specific advice to you. There may be solutions to your problem that you haven't considered that are safer than running away, and talking to someone can help you figure these solutions out.
   • The National Runaway Safeline is open 24/7. You can call for advice at 1-800-786-2929, or visit the Safeline website at: http://www.1800runaway.org
   • Remember that, no matter how difficult your situation or how alone you feel, there are people who care deeply about your safety and well-being.
5. Realize the nature of your problem. Though running away might remove you from the problem you are facing, it will not solve it or make you feel better about the way you've been treated. In fact, by running away, you may cause whatever is happening to you to shift to someone else.

Preparing to Leave

1. Plan ahead. Running away without proper preparation can put your life in danger. Take as much time as you need to figure out a game plan. Where you are going, transportation, work, and shelter are all important to consider. Gather supplies beforehand, some of which might include:
   • Cash
   • Change for the laundromat
   • First aid kit
   • Coat
   • Sleeping bag
   • Socks
   • Change of clothes (x2)
   • Change of underwear/bra (x2)
   • Toothbrush/paste
   • Tampons/pads
   • Hairbrush
   • Water bottle
   • Non-perishable food (granola bars, canned food)
   • Pepper spray
   • Deodorant
2. Travel light. Carrying a heavy load can slow you down if you need to move quickly. As a teen runaway, many other homeless will be bigger and stronger than you, and if you need to escape, you need to do so quickly, without being bogged down by creature comforts. Only pack necessities. Take as much cash as you are able, but be wary of credit or debit cards, which can be tracked. Pack for your destination. If you are heading somewhere cold, your greatest concern should be keeping warm.
   • Keep in mind that arid climates, like the desert, get very cold after dark. A lightweight thermal blanket could save your life.
3. Choose to run to a safe location. Staying in a forest, park, or nature preserve is not recommended. All it takes is a bad step and you may be stranded with a broken ankle far from medical help. If you want to live in the country, be sure to travel along main routes where you can flag down help if needed. If you live in a city or are running to an urban area, try to find a shelter. If you don't have any safe options, try to rest in a busy place during the day. Sleep on a blanket in the park or at the beach during the day. This will make you look less suspicious and more like a normal person taking a nap.
   • A location with public transportation is a good choice, as it is cheaper and faster than other options.
   • A bicycle can be useful, but its weight and safety can be a bigger hassle than help.
   • Bridges offer protection from the elements and the cement will hold warmth from the day through the night. Beware of others if you attempt sleeping under a bridge; these are popular locations for other homeless.
   • If you chose to go to a homeless shelter, you must be prepared to answer questions when you arrive.
   • A friend or a relative's house should be considered, but will come with its own rules. You will always have to respect the homes of others.
4. Find a place to get the help you need. The most important thing you can do after you escape your situation is getting to a place of wellness. Whatever trauma made you leave home in the first place, it is likely there will be some resulting issues you'll need to address before you are able to start living a healthy and happy life. Before you leave, do some research on the area you are running away to, and find halfway homes, detox centers, or counseling centers so you can get yourself the help you need.
   • If you have turned to drugs or alcohol as a way of coping with the things you have suffered, this will eventually cause even greater harm to you physically and emotionally. You are not to blame; whatever you have suffered has pushed you into a vulnerable place. However, you cannot truly be well on your own until you address and resolve your addictions or dependencies.
5. Consider making an anonymous tip. Even if you've made up your mind to never return home, there may be other people suffering from the same abuse or neglect that you did. Especially if you have siblings, please consider making an anonymous call or tip to the police or Child Protective Services in your state, or talking with ChildHelp from a public phone or using a friend's phone.
   • Child Protective Services: Within the US, state numbers for CPS can be found at the Child Welfare site here.
   • Child Helpline: (800) 422-4453
6. Think ahead about work. As a teen, even working at a fast food establishment will require you to have parental consent along with other necessary information, like an address and your Social Security number. Eventually, you will run out of supplies and money. You will need a source of income to support yourself. When applying for a job, hint that you are looking to make some extra money working "under-the-table", which means you will be paid directly by your employer secretly, usually in cash. Some under-the-table work options you can consider:
   • Busboy (restaurant)
   • Dishwasher
   • Landscaping/gardening
   • Tutor
   • Babysitter
   • Mover
   • Painter

Living Away from Home

1. Escape your situation. Leave when you won't be seen and be sure you won't be immediately noticed. For example, you may want to call in to school sick and leave on your way, or you might consider leaving right after everyone is in bed. This will give you a few hours to put distance between you and the place you are running from. Try to make it as far away as possible before stopping to rest. To make yourself more difficult to find, you should try to get out of town, and eventually, your state.
   • The train or a bus can take you a great distance for a small cost. Wear a cap with a brim or a hood so that your face is covered and you do not show up on security footage.
   • To make yourself less noticeable, dye your hair a common color that's different from your natural shade and/or cut your hair. Be sure your new haircut/dye job doesn't look sloppy; some might question your appearance if you aren't careful.
   • Take clothes you rarely or never wear. You can always purchase new clothing cheap from a thrift store so you aren't wearing anything that can identify you.
2. Always put food first. This is your top priority. You can fill up a bottle of water at nearly any sink, but beware labels that say "Not Potable", as this means the water isn't intended for drinking. Take all food you find and all food offered to you, and be sure to eat it before it goes bad, even if you aren't hungry.
3. Practice good hygiene. This is especially important when you start looking for work, but will also keep you from getting picked up by police for vagrancy (homelessness). Stay away from dangerous places where robbers or rapists could be lurking, which includes alleys or secluded areas of parks. Although cleanliness is important, try to look as sexually unappealing as you can to protect yourself from predators.
   • Dress like you are going to school or an informal church event, not like you are going to a party. Clothing with lots of pockets will provide you with places to keep necessary supplies.
4. Never resort to prostitution or to using alcohol/drugs. Don't let anyone pay you for sex. This could result in you getting hurt, robbed, or the person might even refuse to pay you after finishing with you. The person may wait until you are vulnerable before asking you to go farther than you are comfortable. Your money will be necessary to pay for things you need to survive; do not waste any of your limited cash on alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes.
   • Although other runaways/homeless may abuse drugs or alcohol, and may even offer you some, always refuse the offer. It will be difficult for you to defend yourself when drunk, high, or incapacitated.
5. Determine places you can take care of your needs. Private/public restrooms, while not the most comfortable, are good places you can groom yourself. Have an answer ready for anyone who questions you. Something like, "I've been traveling with my mom all day to get to my grandparents house and we stopped here to freshen up," might prevent the police from being called on you. Ladies can use Nair to remove hair and maintain appearances. Try not to look suspicious when taking care of your bathroom routine.
6. Maintain your safety. There are many tools you can use to keep safe, like a rape whistle, pepper spray, or a multi-tool, which can be used both for protection and in emergencies. Keep your tool well hidden but within reach at all times. Money should be kept in your underwear, not in socks or bras, which is where many people first look.
   • If someone says, "I saw you with money last night," say that it's all gone, even if you still have some.
   • Keep a spare, visible bag or purse with a few dollars and coins. This way, if you're robbed, they'll take this instead.
   • If you run out of money for food, be careful when begging. This will draw attention, and in some cases, upset other homeless. It is also illegal to beg for money in some places.
   • A supermarket that offers free samples is a great place you can find food without drawing attention to yourself. If someone asks, you can always say you're waiting for your mom.
7. Do not steal. This is not only illegal and immoral, but it will draw the attention of others, including the police. Stealing can result in even more serious consequences than simply being returned from where you have run.
8. Have answers to questions. People will likely ask questions if they see you around when school is in session or brushing your teeth in a public restroom. Don't respond to these with the first thing that comes to mind. Come up with a story explaining your situation and stick to it; this will prevent inconsistencies that will make people question you. Think ahead of time about what people might say in response to your story so you are prepared with a believable response.
9. Do not use your cellphone. This can be used to locate you after you've run away, but in an emergency, it can save your life. Keeping your cell phone turned off will prevent you from being tracked, or you can replace your SIM card.

Additional Resources

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Tips

• Only run away if you have no other alternative. This decision can have a serious and permanent negative impact your life. You can be hurt or even killed away from the protection of your community, friends, and family. If you're being abused, call the police.
• Don't fidget, stutter, or hesitate when lying. This may cause people to not believe what you are saying.
• Only speak when spoken to, and stick to one lie about who you are, what you're doing, etc. You don't want people to realize it's fake by telling multiple stories.
• Never hang around the same place for too long. You don't want to be seen as a nuisance, or for people to wonder what you're doing.
• Remember, you want to be as invisible as possible. Don't draw attention. Try to look like a normal passerby. This means keeping up hygiene and having clean, appropriate clothes.
• Always have a way to defend yourself. You may want to consider working out and becoming stronger before leaving.
• Never lie or run from the police. This will raise suspicion and give the impression that you are doing something illegal. If you are caught by an officer, you'll have to spill the beans because lying, fighting, or running can get you in to more serious trouble.
• Pack essentials, like a flashlight, blankets, etc. Remember to bring as much non-perishable food (like crackers, dried fruit, granola, canned goods) as you can.
• If you are unable to dye or cut and change your natural hair type, you can consider wearing a natural-looking wig. It can help you hide your identity and sort of make you look like a different person. But do not wear a wig that looks childish, like a bright or colorful wig - it will attract a lot of attention.
• You should bring a pocket knife or multi-tool. It can save you in some cases and can be used as a self-defense tool, but that would probably also draw more attention to you and police might find you.
• If you are running away, don't stay with one of your relatives, because they may call your parents.
• Knowing around the area where you live and/or where you're going is a big help if you ever get lost or need to find certain places.
• Read the book Runaway by Wendelin Van Draanen. It is a great story, along with the consequences of running away.
• Bring a wallet but don't keep your money in the wallet. That way if a criminal tries to rob you, just show them the empty wallet and say that you are out of money (even if you're not).
• Do NOT accept any food or water or drinks or ANYTHING from strangers, no matter how desperate you are.

Warnings

• Unless you're running from an abusive home, in which case you should call the police, leave a note so your parents don't think you've been abducted. Keep it simple, only stating that you've run away.
• Always have appropriate clothing. Bring a warm, sturdy jacket, sturdy footwear (boots/sneakers), and also hot weather clothes.
• Don't become too confident. Overconfidence can make you an easy target and will also make you easier to find.
• Try to find somewhere safe to stay at night. You don't want to wander around at night, as there is a higher chance you may run into a criminal.
• If you resort to a runaway shelter, they will contact your parents if they recognize you. It's best to go to a shelter outside your city so no one will recognize you.

Things You'll Need

• Cash
• Change for laundromat
• First aid kit
• Coat
• Sleeping bag
• Socks
• Change of clothes (x2)
• Changes of underwear/bra (x4)
• Toothbrush/paste
• Tampons/pads
• Hairbrush
• Water bottle
• Non-perishable foods
• Pepper spray
• Deodorant
• Lighter/matches (optional)
• Flashlight (extra batteries)
• Shampoo and conditioner in one (optional)
• Washcloth (optional)
• Small Travel Pillow (optional)
• Razor/shaver/nair (optional)
• Notebook and pencils/pens (optional)

Related Articles

• Run Away and Live on the Streets As a Teen
• Run Away from an Abusive Home
• Run From an Abusive Home As a Teenager
• Consider the Pros and Cons of Running Away from Home

Sources and Citations

See also

• Run Away from an Abusive Home
• Run Away Intelligently
• Run Away and Live on the Streets As a Teen
• Run Away With Your Boyfriend
• Help a Friend Who Wants to Run Away from Home