Tell if Someone Is Lying About Using Drugs

If you have a son, daughter, or loved one who is abusing drugs, this person may lie to you about where they have been and what they have been doing. If you spot signs of drug addiction, you have to be willing and ready to move past your shock and disbelief and help your loved one get professional treatment. Learn how to tell if your loved one is lying about a drug habit and get tips about what you can do to help.

Steps

Spotting the Symptoms

  1. Pay attention to problems happening at school or work. This may include suddenly missing more work than usual, losing interest in a career or failing grades in school subjects that would normally not be challenging to the person at all.[1]
    • While missing work or school can be a sign of drug use, sometimes spending too much time working can also be a sign there is drug use occurring. It is not unusual for some adults to start using drugs as a way to add more awake time to the day, so suddenly working nearly non-stop can point to a substance problem.
    • Friends at school or work may also change if there is a new drug problem. Your loved one may no longer want to see anyone socially due to fear of being caught. Or, they may have made new friends who share the same habit. If it is a change for your loved one to skip happy hour with co-workers not once but every week , this may mean there is something to hide.
  2. Consider your loved one’s money habits. Sudden changes in spending or missing money can be a sign of a problem they are trying to hide. Even small changes like not being quite as open as they have been in the past about money can mean there is something to hide like a drug or alcohol issue.[2]
    • Changes in money habits can also include a sudden use of credit cards or obtaining new lines of credit when that was not something they did in the past. Overdue bills are another sign that money is being spent on things that are out of the ordinary as well.
  3. Look at their physical appearance. Significant changes in both the physical body as well as mannerism may be a sign of drug use. Take a closer look at your loved one’s appearance. Is something different?[1]
    • Examples of physical changes may include losing weight, facial signs indicating lack of sleep, poor hygiene, and other changes like not keeping hair cut for work or being clean-shaven.
    • Depending on the drug of choice, they may also suddenly seem like they have endless energy and more movement due to “nervous energy”.
    • Beyond the physical body, you may also start to notice the same clothes being worn for a longer amount of time than usual. If the drug use includes the use of needles, you may also notice that they often wear long-sleeved clothing year round to hide the arms.
  4. Watch for the signs of drug addiction. Things disappearing at home may be a sign that property is being sold or traded for drugs, especially if the person has built up a tolerance to drugs. They may need more and more money to fund the drug use. This may include electronics or other items that are easily sold coming up missing.
    • Other signs of a problem may include family members noticing prescription drugs coming up missing like pain killers, attention meds or a variety of other drugs.[3]
    • Major changes in sleep patterns including either not sleeping for days on end or the reverse can mean drugs are in play. Certain drugs can cause one to stay awake for several days at a time and then cause a crash that sends one into days of sleeping.
  5. Be aware of how different drugs affect behavior. The previous steps can help you identify general changes in behavior, mood, and appearance that may point to a loved one using drugs. In addition, it is also wise to be knowledgeable about the effects of using specific drugs. For example, use of these drugs may result in the following signs and symptoms:[4]
    • Marijuana: increased appetite, euphoria, dry mouth, memory impairment, and paranoia[5]
    • Cocaine: increased agitation, hyperactivity, cold symptoms, and lowered inhibitions[6]
    • Ecstasy: lowered inhibitions, heightened sexuality, increased energy, tightness in mouth/jaw, increased heart rate, and muscle tension[7]
    • Meth: increased body temperature, jaw clenching, insomnia, loss of appetite, sweating, and paranoia[8]

Catching a Lie

  1. Compare the person's behavior to past behavior. Sudden changes in behavior can be a sign of drug use. Think about how your loved one used to act and how they act now. Subtle changes could indicate they are using drugs.[1]
    • Isolation can be a major sign of drug use. If they are normally outgoing but are suddenly spending a great deal of time alone, this may be to hide a drug problem or due to embarrassment based on the addiction.
    • Mood swings can be another sign of trouble. Mood swings can occur when they need to maintain a certain level of drug or alcohol in the body to not go into withdrawal. When the level drops below the needed supply, they may sweat, become irritable, feel sick, have anxiety or even become depressed. These can all indicate withdrawal from drugs.[2]
    • Missing important events or just simply disappearing from home or work for random amounts of time can also be a sign that something else is going on.
  2. Ask unexpected questions. Often lies are rehearsed so they sound believable, asking unexpected questions pushes for real answers. Beware of answers that are too vague or go to the other extreme with too many details.[9]
    • For example when you ask your husband why he was late getting home from work, if he tells you he had a “stop to make” without providing any more information, that is a red flag. The same is true if he says he stopped at the grocery store and launches into a ten minute description of each item he bought, who he saw or other details that don’t really matter. This can indicate that he is overcompensating with details to mask a lie.
    • Also, listen carefully to the answers to see if they really make sense. Are you being told the stop was made on the way home from work but you know there was no work today? Was the stop was at a grocery store but there are no groceries?
  3. Note how much the person says. When people are lying, they tend to say only the bare minimum. If the person gives you a short answer to your question, then they may be lying to you.[10]
    • For example, you might expect a detailed explanation if you ask something like, "Where were you all day yesterday?" However, if the person is lying then, they might respond with a short explanation such as, "At the mall."
    • If you challenge the person's story, then someone who is lying may still provide few details. However, someone who is telling the truth may provide lots of details to help confirm their story.
  4. Listen for repeated questions. When people are lying, they may also repeat questions to give themselves more time to think of an answer. If you notice that the person repeats every question that you ask them, then this could also be a sign that the person is lying about using drugs.[10]
    • For example, if you ask, "Have you been using cocaine again?" then the person might echo this question back to you.
  5. Pay attention to how slow or fast the person is talking. People who are telling a lie may start out talking really slow to give themselves a chance to think. However, people are also aware that talking slowly is considered suspicious, so after a slow start, the person might start speaking rapidly. Pay attention to these changes in the speed of the person's speech for extra clues about whether or not they are lying.[10]

Understanding Why Addiction Leads to Lying

  1. Consider whether your loved one is in denial about a drug problem. They may think the drug use is just a good time or nothing to worry about so it might be easy to lie away the behavior. The lies may even start out as a way to somehow protect the person being lied to from worrying or overreacting since they do not see the problems associated with the drug use.[11]
  2. Determine if the person thinks they are invincible. Someone who abuses drugs may sometimes believe that they are exempt from the negative consequences of drug use. Often, someone using drugs does not see the full effect the drugs have on the body and one’s health, or the people around them. Your loved one may lie about the behavior because they don't think negative consequences like overdose or legal troubles could happen.[12]
    • The need for the drug often clouds the fear of getting caught buying illegal drugs, stealing to obtain drugs or even taking risky chances in the name of the next high. They may not see things like stealing to sell items to buy drugs as a real crime because they are not physically hurting anyone.
    • They may also not consider the risks of sharing needles or having sex for drugs with other drug users as a way to get exposed to HIV, Hepatitis or other infections. These consequences of drugs use can be almost shocking to them.
    • They may also not understand—or want to acknowledge—the strain the drug use puts of personal relationships and family bonds.
  3. Decide if you have been enabling drug use. Ignoring a drug problem or finding a way to justify going against a gut feeling of something not being right does not help the situation. This includes giving your teen surplus money without knowing where it’s going, consistently bailing your spouse out of jail after being arrested, or covering for a friend who is using.[13]
    • When you turn your head the other way you are almost condoning the behavior and preventing the person from getting help. Think about your actions and see if there is a chance you have been enabling your loved one to use drugs.
  4. Know that lies and manipulation are customary to addiction. Accept that being lied to did not happen because you are a bad person or easy to trick. Drug addiction drives the need to manipulate to continue to have access to drugs, and this would be the same for any person coming into contact with the problem.[11] It is not something you caused, nor is it something you should ignore out of shame.

Tips

  • Let your loved one know that you want to help and that you are willing to talk. Most drug users know that what they are doing is wrong and dangerous to their health. By the time most people have noticed the changes in themselves, they have probably been using for some time and it may be more difficult for them to stop using.
  • A doctor, drug counselor, or social worker can refer you to a rehabilitation center.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/drug-addiction/basics/symptoms/con-20020970
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 http://psychcentral.com/lib/identifying-signs-of-addiction/
  3. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/addiction/drug-abuse-and-addiction.htm
  4. ↑ http://drugabuse.com/library/symptoms-and-signs-of-drug-abuse/
  5. ↑ http://drugabuse.com/library/marijuana-abuse/
  6. ↑ http://drugabuse.com/library/cocaine-abuse/
  7. ↑ http://drugabuse.com/library/ecstasy-abuse/
  8. ↑ http://drugabuse.com/library/meth-abuse/
  9. ↑ http://www.narconon.org/drug-abuse/rules/lies-manipulation.html
  10. ↑ 10.0 10.1 10.2 http://newsroom.ucla.edu/releases/how-to-tell-when-someone-s-lying-202644
  11. ↑ 11.0 11.1 http://blogs.psychcentral.com/addiction-recovery/2014/03/7-honest-reasons-why-addicts-lie/
  12. ↑ https://www.caring.com/articles/20-secret-signs-of-addiction
  13. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/parenting/teen-abuse-cough-medicine-9/when-teenagers-lie-about-drugs

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