Write a Funny Personal Ad

Gone are the days when people looking to hook-up put a personal ad in the newspaper (“If you like pina coladas, getting caught in the rain …”). But personal ads are still very popular - online. There are dozens of websites that claim they can find you the perfect partner, no matter what you’re looking to do with that partner. But if you want to make yourself stand out from the crowd, you may want to consider adding some humour to your profile or ad. It’s not as hard as it sounds!

Steps

Creating Your Personal Ad

1. Use only the rules you want. Many so-called rules for personal ads or profiles tend to suggest that the writer avoid many of the things that can actually make the ad funny. So, when reading the rules, do so with a grain of salt and only include items that make sense for you and the type of ad you want to write.
2. Review other personal ads. One of the best ways to figure out what you want to put in your ad is to read other ads. Read good ones and bad ones. Choose to include ideas from the good ads, and remember to avoid the pitfalls from the bad ads.
   • Use example ads as a way to determine what is said so often it doesn’t allow you to stand out from the crowd. Even if the statement is a good one, you want to avoid using it if you find it in 50% of the articles you read.
3. Select a photo. The photo you include in your personal ad may actually be harder to create than the ad itself! Unfortunately, however, many people judge a book by the cover, so they’re most likely going to judge your ad by the photo. Therefore, you want something that is flattering and makes you look awesome. And, you want to avoid photos that include other people.
   • If you’ve written an awesomely funny ad, you may want to choose a photo that helps embellish that story, rather than a straight-forward photo of yourself.
4. Think up an amazing headline. All personal ads or profiles need a title or headline of some kind. Some online dating sites may have a limit to the length of this headline, so keep that in mind when writing it. But regardless of the limitations associated with it, make it memorable. You want the headline to draw a potential partner in and make them want to read the rest of your ad. You also want something that accurately describes the best parts of you.
   • One such way to make an awesome headline is to use song lyrics or a movie quote that seems to perfectly describe you.
5. Create your own ad without a template. Many dating websites provide all sorts of templates you can use to create your personal ad or profile - avoid these. They might be good to look at and take note of, but don’t actually use one to write out your ad. You want to make your ad unique. Using a template takes away the uniqueness.
   • Some good words you might find in a template, or in other personal ads, are: sophisticated, generous, reliable, affectionate, caring, educated.
   • Some words you’ll probably want to avoid, even though you’ll probably find them in some other ads, are: well hung, great in bed, animal, erotic, and anything else sexual.
6. Be honest. When stating things about yourself that are important (e.g. education, previous relationships, children, major turn offs, etc.), be honest. Try not to embellish or exaggerate these items, but feel free to state them in funny ways. When writing about things that aren’t critical (e.g. favourite foods, things you like to do, places you want to visit, etc.), it’s okay to embellish a little bit! Use humour to make the boring stuff sound a little more exciting.
   • One of the things you may want to be honest about is your age. Age can be a big deal when it comes to reading and picking someone from a personal ad. If you lie about this, you might find your personal ad doesn’t accomplish what you’d like it to accomplish.
   • Another thing you’ll want to be honest about is what you’re looking for in a potential partner. If you just want a ‘friend with benefits,’ make sure that’s obvious. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, make that clear.
7. Leave out the bragging. Bragging isn’t the same as humour. Bragging includes talking about how much money you make, or what luxury cars are in your 10 car garage, etc. Bragging never makes you look good, whether you try to add humour to it or not.
8. Make yourself unique, without making yourself a weirdo. There is such a thing as going a little too far with your uniqueness. You want potential partners to read your ad and be attracted to what you write. You want to avoid scaring potential partners away by making yourself out to be someone really odd!
   • This also means to avoid turning your humour into sarcasm or cynicism. Potential partners will be able to tell the difference and it may make your ad seem very confusing.

Writing with Humour

1. Include words with ‘k’ and hard ‘g’ sounds. Words with ‘k’ sounds include cabin, cactus, cage, calf, camel, camper, canary, canoe, cape, cards, carrot, carton, chameleon, and cocoon. Words with hard ‘g’ sounds include guacamole, galaxy, garden, gecko, gibbon, gold, gorilla, and guitar. Words with these sounds actually sound funnier to most people. Oddly, the reason these words are found to be funny is because they're related to Yiddish humour, which is appreciated more by Americans. Try using words with these sounds throughout your personal ad, without making the whole ad seem like one giant alliteration.
   • Example: “I love canoes, being at the cabin, and running around in my cape."
   • Example: “My mother tells me I make the greatest guacamole in the galaxy, with cilantro from my garden."
2. Try using the rule of three. In order to write statements in your personal ad that sounds funny, it helps to create a pattern and then misdirect the reader. The pattern (the first two items) creates a setup that the reader will assume is serious, and then the punch line (the third item) is used to throw off the reader.
   • Example: “I enjoy reading, writing, and taunting gorillas at the zoo."
   • Example: “My idea of a perfect date is to share a great bottle of wine, dining on a patio under the stars, and trying really hard not to fart because I ate too many beans."
   • Can work in longer lists if you get the rhythm right: “My favourite foods are gorgonzola cheese, butternut squash ravioli, french onion soup, and Kraft dinner."
3. Use crazy comparisons. Crazy comparisons are metaphors that make you laugh. Metaphors are normally used to help describe something in terms the reader or listener will understand. Similes are technically different from metaphors because they use the words ‘like’ or ‘as’ to compare two things. Similes make comparisons that are explicit (e.g. “her eyes are as blue as the ocean”) whereas metaphors are more subtle and make comparisons that are implicit (e.g. “he’s a chicken”). In the case of humorous writing, you can use either metaphors or similes in your personal ad to make a joke.
   • Example: “I love my job, my boss is as funny as Donald Trump."
   • Example: “My hair is as golden as the diamond ring you’ll be buying me within a month."
4. Change up a cliche. Cliches are fun! Cliches are expressions or statements that have become stereotypical and common because they’re used so often. An example of a cliche is “in the nick of time.” But instead of using cliches in the standard way in your personal ad, twist them to be funny. Because it’s a cliche, potential partners will assume they’re going to read a certain statement, but will then be hit with the punch line.
   • Don’t just use cliches you’ve heard a million times. Use any statement or term that readers will recognize. Things like movie titles, famous lines from literature or song lyrics are great options.
   • Example: “I’m ready to fall head over stilettos for you."
   • Example: “My friends and I hang out a lot at Pete’s Bar, we call ourselves the Fellowship of the Pint."
5. Tell a real life story. Some of the funniest things out there are the real life stories we’d really rather forget. Don’t be afraid to use those in your personal ad to make potential partners laugh at your expense. Choose your best, most embarrassing story and embellish it. Add a point or two to your story that may (or may not) have happened!
   • Example: “When I was 3 years old I love dressing up the dog in my underwear."
   • Example: “On a grade 5 field trip I got lost at the Air and Space Museum. I crawled inside the Apollo capsule and had a nap."

Arranging Your Humour

1. Be specific. When using a word (or words) to describe something in your personal ad, be as specific as possible. Specific sounds funnier. This includes being specific when referring to the number of something. Don’t say ‘a lot’, make up a number like ‘fifty-two’.
   • Example: “I have a Dodge Ram 4x4 pick-up truck painted red with white racing stripes."
   • Example: “I’ve been to Disneyland four thousand, six hundred, and thirty-three times."
2. Save the best for last. Whether it’s a word or a statement in your personal ad, put the funniest thing last. If necessary, re-read the sentence several times, placing the funniest word or statement in different spots. Keep trying until the sentence sounds great.
   • Example: “It’s impossible to have only one chip, or cat."
   • Example: “I like to take the scenic route when driving, it helps me relax and avoid satellites."
3. Use the double entendre. A double entendre is a word or a statement that can be interpreted in more than one way. Ironically, a lot of pick-up lines are double entendres (e.g. “How about you and I go to that dark room over there, and see what develops!”). And you can find a zillion examples of double entendres on the internet from places like newspapers and signs, where it was done by accident. In your personal ad, however, you’re doing it on purpose.
   • Example: “Marriage is a fine institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.”
   • Example: “I’m always disgusted by the state of my drawers."
4. Think up a ‘humour’ strategy. When writing your personal ad, plan out when and where you’ll use your jokes and new found humour. Use it strategically throughout the ad in a way that comes across as natural, but not overwhelming. You want to be sure you don’t cross a line from funny to stupid by putting too many silly things together. Re-read and revise your ad until the humour sounds like you didn’t do it on purpose!
5. Listen to how words sound. Read your personal ad out loud and make sure the words you’ve used actually do sound funny. Have they expressed the sort of humour you were intending? If you don’t like the way something sounds out loud, break out the thesaurus and try the sentence using a variety of other words instead.
   • There are many free online thesauruses you can use.

Sources and Citations

See also

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