Adapt to Aging and Elderly Parents
As we grow older, our parents tend to become challenging and sometimes interfering as we ourselves try to mold and create a life of our own. With age our parents lose their memories, become stubborn and question any suggestions made by their children or grandchildren. They have a right to be "right", for they've been around much longer and their wisdom and experiences in life quite outshine yours.
Steps
- Always remember that disagreements are a normal part of daily life. If everyone agreed on everything, life will become mundane and monotonous. Respect the decisions and values of the older generation. They simply have a different view on life that may not be in keeping with up to date technology and modern times. They have raised you, so give them some credit for the way you turned out. Try to meet them halfway by blending your own ideals with those of theirs. You may come up with a spectacular solution that you never thought of before.
- Do not marginalize the older parent by excluding them completely from important decision making activities. Very often we tend to give very little credit to the vast experience and the wisdom of our elderly parents.Marginalization makes the parent feel hopeless and unwanted which in turn leaves them with no choice but to become rebellious and look to others for comfort, usefulness and belonging.
- Realize that the memory tends to fail with age. As our parents age, the memory capacity tends to weaken. Very often they will forget to remember completing little chores or taking a proper message for you by telephone. Please be patient as you would, when dealing with a child. The natural course of time is having an effect on their memories and this is seldom due to carelessness or sloppiness. Avoid becoming agitated or passing hurtful and sarcastic comments.
- Understand that elderly parents will suffer a general decline in health. Be supportive when they complain about minor aches and pains. Avoid adopting the attitude of neglect or simply ignoring every little complaint you are faced with. Drive them to the local clinic, hospital or even a private doctor if the need arises. You may save them from further harm to their health and their general well being. This also proves to them that you care and parents take great comfort in knowing that their child or children care for them.
- Remember that you too will reach old age at some point in time. The cycle of life continues as does everything else. You will not want to be treated badly by your own kids , so refrain from doing the same to your parents.
- Give them the respect and dignity they deserve. One can understand that aging parents can be difficult , sometimes even completely unreasonable. Listen with attention and find the humor in this to help you relax and calm or smooth the situation over. Always remember that you are what you are because of them due to the proper care and nourishment they afforded you with. The buck does not stop here. It is the duty of every child to act with responsibility to aging and elderly parents.
- Make them a part of your daily life. In the middle of being busy with your own life and family, try including your parents into this daily routine. Other issues such as medication times need to be scheduled into your other activities to cater for the needs of ailing parents. Where possible use hired help if necessary. Incorporate the help and input from other siblings or family members.
- Make them proud of themselves and you. A comfort dwells when parents know that their children are there for them when or if the need arises. The smiles and happiness reciprocates leaving you feeling fulfilled and content.
Tips
- Seek advice and guidance from others who have elderly parents. You may come to realize that your problems are not so unique and there others out there who face similar difficulties as well.
- Contemplate in silence and weigh out all possibilities before reacting in rude and insensitive ways.
- Hope for the best and show extreme patience and understanding.
- Do not stress and fuss about little and insignificant things. In other words, do not make mountains out of molehills. For instance, if your mother insists that your best friend from high school was named Jean, when her name was actually Jane, let it go.
- Preserve their stories for future generations. Set up a video camera and let them talk about their childhood, family, and school days. Ask where they were when history was made: Pearl Harbor, D-Day, the assassination of President Kennedy, the first moonwalk.
- If the need arises, act as the peacemaker between your children and parents. Very often younger children find the attitudes and habits of the older generation quite intolerable.
- Always remember the golden saying that "what goes around comes around".
- Listen to your elders. Not because they are always right but because they have more experience at being wrong.
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