Apologize to a Teacher

Sometimes people make mistakes because nobody is perfect. If you did something that hurt your teacher or made him or her upset, it can take a lot of courage to apologize for it. Saying you are sorry to your teacher is easy to do if you are prepared, sincere, and respectful.

Steps

Establishing a Plan

  1. Reflect on what you did wrong. In order to make your apology sincere, you have to actually understand where you were at fault. There is a difference between being sorry you made your teacher mad and being sorry you did not do the homework that made your teacher mad. Before you apologize take time to reflect on your actions and why you did them. [1]
  2. Practice ahead of time. If you feel really nervous about apologizing to your teacher practice ahead of time. Write down what you want to say and practice in front of the mirror, a trusted friend, sibling, or parent. This way you will be able to get all of the kinks of the apology out before you are in front of the teacher. [2]
  3. Find a good time to talk to them. Some suitable times to do that would be after class, during lunch, or before or after school. The best time is when your teacher is not busy or trying to teach. It is important that your apology is timely (preferably only a day or two after the incident), not three months after the incident. [2]
    • Ask for a minute of their time: "Mr. Smith, may I please speak with you for a moment?”

Being Sincere

  1. Say you are sorry. Don’t talk around the point you might frustrate or confuse your teacher. Start immediately by saying “I am sorry” or “I apologize.” Don't mumble. Speak clearly and make eye contact. Don't look down or glance around the room. [2]
  2. Explain why you are apologizing. You can’t just simply say you are sorry and expect them to forgive you. Tell them what you are sorry for and your motivation for your actions, if you have any. Be as specific as possible.
    • Say something like, “Mrs. Peters, I am very sorry for how I behaved yesterday. It was not okay for me to talk loudly to Steve. I should have been paying attention to you teaching.” [3]
  3. Take responsibility. Let your teacher know that you know you were in the wrong. Be genuine and sincere and don’t point the finger at someone else. [2]
    • Don’t say something like, “I am sorry for talking loudly with Steve, but it was his fault for talking to me.” Instead say, "I am sorry for talking to Steve. I should have been listening to you."
    • Don’t say “if” in your apology: “I am sorry if I was being disrespectful.” Instead say “I am sorry that I was being disrespectful.” [1]
  4. Don’t make excuses. Admit that what you did was wrong. Don’t try to justify what you did with an excuse. If you are apologizing for not doing your homework, be honest but don’t make excuses. Don’t say: “I am sorry for not doing my homework but I didn’t do it because I had a soccer game yesterday.” Instead say: “I am sorry for not doing my homework. It was my responsibly to find time to get it done.” [2]

Strengthening Your Apology

  1. Promise it won’t happen again. End with a promise that you will never repeat the behavior that caused you to apologize again. Intend to follow through with this promise. If you are apologizing for not doing your homework, start making sure to do your homework. If you were talking loudly during class, make sure to correct this behavior. The apology will mean a lot more if it does not have an empty promise on the end. [2]
  2. Have appropriate body language. What makes an apology much more meaningful is when it is in person. This shows that you have courage and allows your teacher to see your face and body language while you apologize. Your body language should show that you are sorry. Don’t put your hands on your hips or cross your arms as if you don’t care about the apology or are trying to challenge your teacher. Be relaxed and make eye contact with your teacher. [1]
  3. Write your teacher an apology note. You can't replace an in-person apology, but you can add to your apology by giving your teacher a note or card to show you care. A simple note or handmade card saying you are sorry and what you are sorry for will be really appreciated by your teacher. [4]
  4. Ask for forgiveness. End your apology with a request for forgiveness. Say something as simple as, “I hope that you can forgive me.” Don’t expect forgiveness. Your teacher might say they forgive you, but if they don’t say that don’t worry about it. They might need time to think about your apology. The important part is that you stop doing whatever you did that made you apologize. Following through with your promise to not do it again might be what they need to forgive you. [1]

Tips

  • Don't apologize in a note or email. Always apologize in person because it is much more sincere and meaningful.
  • It is okay if you cry, but don’t fake cry.
  • Acknowledge your mistakes to let your teacher know that you know what you did wrong.
  • Be respectful to your teacher.
  • Have good posture and make eye contact.
  • Find an appropriate time to apologize one on one with your teacher.

Warnings

  • Understand that if you have hurt their feelings bad enough, some teachers will not forgive you immediately.
  • Depending on the severity of your actions, you may or may not get in trouble with the administration, but always be ready to accept the consequences of your actions.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 http://www.perfectapology.com/Apologizing-dos-donts.html
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 2.5 https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/how-to-apologize.htm
  3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201604/6-science-based-ways-say-i-m-sorry-effectively
  4. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/08/11/7-ways-to-give-an-apology-4-ways-to-accept-one/
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