Ask Someone to Be Your Ring Bearer

Having a child carry your rings down the aisle is a fun tradition, but you may not know how to ask them to be part of the big day. It’s important to narrow down which child is right for the task and to always ask their parents before you ask them. If you want to ask in a fun way, try out one of these creative options, including naming the child a “Ring Protection Agent.”

Steps

Choosing a Child to Be the Ring Bearer

  1. Pick a child that is three to seven years old. A general rule for the ring bearer is a child between three and seven years old. This is a wide range of development, so take it as a guide. This ensures that the child can walk and that they’ll be able to perform the duties you need them to.[1]
    • If you go with a child under three, you’ll increase the chances of them crying, being distracted, falling, or generally not quite being able to get from point A to point B.
    • It’s okay to choose a child older than seven, but older kids may be less interested and you may lose the “cute little kid” charm if you go older.
  2. Choose a child who is confident and capable. Shy kids don’t usually want to be in front of a whole crowd of wedding attendees, so they may get scared as ring bearer. Stick with a kid who likes to be seen. It’s also important that they understand what they are supposed to do and are capable of getting up to the stage without wandering off or getting distracted.[2]
  3. Ask the child’s parents first. Before you talk to the child about being in your wedding, it’s important to bring it up to their parent or parents first. You want the parents to be on board before you get the child excited about it.[3]
    • It’s also good to talk to the parents about who will pay for the ring bearer’s outfit.
    • When you ask the parents, say, "We would love to have Skyler be our ring bearer. Would you be willing to pay for his outfit? He's important to us, and having him in the wedding is important. Maybe we can work out a way to share the cost?"

Asking in Creative Ways

  1. Propose with a ring pop. Buy a ring shaped candy pop and unwrap it. Put it in a box. Write “Will you be our ring bearer?” on the inside of the box. Wrap it up like a gift and give it to the child. Kids typically like candy, so they will be excited about that and will associate helping you with the fun of candy.[4]
    • Make sure the parents don’t mind if their child has candy. The parents may also have to read what the box says, if the kid is young and can’t read yet.
  2. Tell the child you want them to be a “Ring Protection Agent.” Rather than asking them to be the “ring bearer,” which may not make sense to them, ask them to be in charge of protecting the rings. Give them a special shirt that says “Ring Protection Agent,” or give them a badge with their title on it.[5]
    • Make this as elaborate as you want to make it fun for the child. Let them wear cool sunglasses. Give them a walkie talkie. Put the rings in a “secure” box instead of on a pillow.
    • This works well if you have two kids you want to have as ring bearers. They can work together in a team to keep the rings safe.
  3. Take them out for a special day. If you want to ask them in a big way that’s an adventure, plan to spend a whole day (or afternoon/night) with them. Talk to the parents and setup a time you can take the child off their hands. Take them to play at the park or go to a movie. Buy them a toy or a fancy dinner. After you’ve had some fun, pop the big question.
    • If you spend this kind of day with them often anyway, they won’t know something special is coming. If this is a first, they’ll remember how you asked them in a fun way.
    • Make sure you take them to do something that is fun for them rather than for you.
    • Say, "Since you are our favorite little kiddo, we want you to help us out with our wedding. Could we go do something fun together so we can tell you all about it?"
    • Say, "We still need one person to help with our wedding and it HAS to be a little man, like you. If we took you out for some ice cream, would you be willing to help us out on our wedding day?"
  4. Make them a “Be our ring bearer” puzzle. Take a piece of cardboard or paper and write “Will you be our ring bearer?” on it. Cut it out into fun shapes to create a puzzle. Give the puzzle to the child and tell them the puzzle has a special message for them on it.[6]
    • If they need help with the puzzle, start putting a few pieces into position for them.
    • You or the parents may have to read the message to them once they put the puzzle together.
    • Decorate the puzzle as elaborately as you want to make it extra fun.

Tips

  • If you have lots of kids that you’d want to be your ring bearer or flower girl, come up with extra small roles for those kids to fulfill. It’s hard to include everyone, but there are things that other kids could do.

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://etiquette-guide.com/how-to-choose-a-ring-bearer/
  2. ↑ https://www.blacknbianco.com/tips-and-advice-for-your-ring-bearer-and-his-outfit/
  3. ↑ http://www.brides.com/story/flower-girl-ring-bearer-etiquette-who-pays-where-they-sit
  4. ↑ http://www.eatdrink-andbemary.com/2015/03/asking-our-flower-girl-ring-bearer.html
  5. ↑ http://www.weddingsillustrated.net/ways-to-propose-to-your-flower-girl-and-ring-bearer-0-0/
  6. ↑ https://www.perfectweddingguide.com/wedding-blog/index.php/2015/06/03/7-ways-to-make-your-flower-girl-and-ring-bearer-feel-special/
Retrieved from "https://kipkis.com/index.php?title=Ask_Someone_to_Be_Your_Ring_Bearer&oldid=295410"