Avoid Being a Pushover
Have you ever had that problem of never being able to say the word "No"? Do you think people push you around too much and you don't know what to do? Here are some tips and steps to help you to become that decisive, firm believing person you know you are.
Contents
Steps
- Remember the problem may not be yours. If one person frequently pushes you around and you feel victimized by them, you are not a pushover. They are a bully. Bullying in all forms - direct, indirect, mental or physical - is completely unacceptable. Don't accept the unacceptable : report them, tell someone and seek the help you need.
- Identify in what ways and when you back down. Do you allow certain groups of people in your life to push you around? Or only under certain circumstances? Open your mind to the issue and it will become clearer to you in which situations you need to use your backbone.
- Appreciate your worth. You are a valuable, unique human being who is entitled to the same respect and treatment as any other. Remember that your judgement, opinions and feelings are just as important as everyone else's. You are not someone else's tool. You are you - enjoy it.
- Be ready to use and share your skills, but don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of. Know when to say no : remember that you only have to do something if you want to. When someone asks for your commitment to a project, get into the habit of replying 'I'll get back to you'. When you've had time to consider the offer and you're not under pressure, you can reply with a definite yes or no.
- Send positive, confident signals through your body language. The way you present yourself to the people around you is very important. You don't have to be tough looking, physically strong, or even tall, but standing up straight with shoulders back and relaxed arms will send messages of openness and confidence to everyone. Remember to make eye contact and smile.
- If you think something is wrong, stand up for it. Don't stand by while your friend is being beaten verbally or physically.
- Be assertive. Whether it's choosing what to have for lunch, or deciding whether or not to lend someone money. Let them know what you think and state why. Get out of the habit of immediately replying "I don't mind" or "you choose". There's no need to be pushy, just politely state your opinion:
- "I'd actually prefer to __________ because __________."
- "Sorry, I can't lend you money because __________."
- "I think we should __________ instead because __________."
Tips
- Look directly at a person when they talk to you. Assert your motives, and make it clear if you like something or dislike something.
- Know when it is time to say "No".
- There is a point to where you can seem stubborn for the smallest of things. If it's something small like "Can I borrow a pencil?", and there really is no need to say "no", then don't say no.
Warnings
- Remember, there isn't a need to overdo it. If you always say "no", people will just take you for being anti-social and mean. Knowing when to agree or disagree is key.
- Don't be afraid. If someone just fakes a hit on you and you immediately shrink away, they've just called your bluff and saw you really had nothing. Don't flinch, mentally or physically.
Related Articles
- Use Your Manners
- Make Eye Contact With a Girl
- Deal With Someone's Bad Breath
- Deal With a Proud Person
- Act Nice when You Don't Feel Like It
