Annoy People Around You

Do you want to annoy the people around you for revenge, or just for fun? Are you already an annoying person who wants to hone your skills? Are you trying to annoy someone specific, such as your teacher or your boyfriend? Whatever your reason, unless you want to be annoying, read on!

Steps

Annoying People in Public

  1. Be annoying on public transportation. People on public transportation are prime targets for your annoying behavior. They are often tired after a long day of work or weary after a frustrating day of travel. Here are some ways to really get under their skin:
    • If you're on an airplane, try to take up as much space as possible. Stick out your arms and elbows and make a point of stretching your arms so far that they get in the way of your seat mate.
      • If you're sitting by the window, get up often so the other people in your aisle have to stand. Announce, "I have such a small bladder!" You can also make them get up for you, and once you're in the aisle, say, "Whoops--never mind!" and make them get up again so you can be seated.
      • If you're sitting next to someone who is particularly nervous, keep asking if they think the plane is making a funny sound. When it takes off, pretend to pray or hyperventilate.
    • If you're on a bus or a train, sit right next to a person even if there are plenty of available seats.
      • Have a loud one-sided conversation on the phone. Make sure everyone can hear you. If someone asks you to shut up, whisper loudly.
      • Strike up a conversation with someone who is obviously tired and wants to be left alone. Say annoying things like, "Hey, why do you look so tired?"
      • If there aren't many available seats, throw your bags over an extra seat. If someone asks you to move your stuff so he can sit down, shrug and say, "Sorry, I'm saving this for a friend."
      • Interject into people's conversations. Some people will actually let you, but most will get really irritated.
  2. Be a clown during sporting events. Sporting events are full of people who are excited to be there and eager to see their teams win. Many of these people will consider it the best part of their week. What better place to be annoying?
    • Cheer loudly--for both teams. First, cheer loudly for just the away team, until the fans around you get annoyed. Once you've sufficiently annoyed them, start cheering for the other team! Cheer any time anyone does anything.
    • Bring lots of annoying props such as bullhorns, vuvuzelas, or even maracas to make as much noise when you cheer as possible.
    • Be disruptive. Get up as much as possible, especially if you're sitting in the middle of a long aisle. Stand up to block the view of the person behind you during crucial moments in the game. Talk loudly during key moments.
    • Spill your food. Spill your popcorn, soda, or even your nachos all around you. Your fellow audience members will love that. Bonus points if you blame them for making you trip.
    • Pretend you don't know the rules of the game. This is a sure-fire way to annoy devoted fans. Cheer wildly when nothing is happening in the game, and ask the people around you to explain the rules multiple times.
      • You'll be especially annoying if you mix up the rules of different sports. For example, if someone kicks a goal during a soccer game, scream, "Touchdown!" If someone scores during a football game, cry, "Home run!"
  3. Act like a fool at a museum. Museums are places where people like to be quiet and respectful. They come to admire great art and take themselves seriously. Here are some ways to undermine their sober demeanor:
    • Be loud. Laugh to yourself, talk on your phone, or send loud text messages. Everyone will love this.
    • Loudly shush people. Until you get thrown out, pretend to be working at the museum and ask people who aren't talking to be quiet.
    • Do you want to know the number one way to annoy people at a modern art museum? After spending a long time inspecting a strange sculpture or a confounding painting, loudly exclaim, "I could do that!"

Annoying Your Significant Other

  1. Talk about your ex as much as possible. This is absolutely the best thing you can do to annoy your loved one. Make a point of always mentioning your ex, saying how great your ex is, and boasting about all of your ex's accomplishments. Some other ways to annoy your significant other when you talk about your ex include the following:
    • Make a point of texting your ex and giggling at everything he or she says. Loudly say, "He's the best!" This works especially well if you're on a dinner date with your significant other.
    • Invite your ex to come out with you. Surprise your significant other by inviting your ex to hang out with you when you're supposed to be on a date. You can also invite your ex to small parties because then you're significant other will find it harder to kick him out.
    • Always compare your significant other to your ex. Say things like, "This soup is pretty good, but (insert ex's name here) was the best cook ever!"
  2. Pick fights early and often. Nothing is more annoying than a person who is always fighting, especially if it's for no reason. You can annoy your honey in less than a minute by picking a fight about nothing. Here are some ways to be extra annoying:
    • Pick a fight during an inappropriate time. Some great times to pick a fight include Valentine's Day, your special someone's birthday, or around your significant other's parents.
    • Pick a fight for no reason. Pick a fight just because you're in the mood. Get mad at your special someone for spilling a tiny drop of water or being only one minute early to your date.
    • Refuse to listen. State your side of the argument and then walk away. If you can't leave, stick your fingers in your ear and say, "La La La!" until your significant other gives up.
  3. Sabotage your dates. Your honey has worked hard to plan the perfect date. What better way to annoy him than to completely ruin the occasion? Here are some great ways to really tank your dates:
    • Be very late. This is especially annoying if you're going to a movie or a show. When you show up, act aloof. Say, "Whoops, am I really late?" or "Sorry, I got caught up chatting with my ex!"
    • Complain about whatever it is you're doing. If you're watching a movie, keep talking about how boring it is. If you're out at a special restaurant, keep complaining that the food is dry or bland. If the food takes more than a minute to arrive, tap your fingers loudly on the counter and sigh.
    • Flirt with anyone around you. If you're at dinner, ask the waiter for his phone number and giggle.
    • Spend the entire evening on your phone. Nothing says annoying like the sound of a text message.

Annoying Your Friends

  1. Be flaky. Your friends will really love it when you make plans to do something, act really excited, and then tell them you can't make it at the last possible minute. This is a fool-proof way to annoy your friends no matter how nice they are. Here are some ways to be extra-flaky:
    • Cancel on them after they're already on their way to meet you. Wait for them to show up to the place where you planned to meet. Tell them you can't make it over text message--with no explanation.
    • Before you flake on them, say, "I know I'm really flaky, but I swear I'll come this time!"
    • If you were their only ride to an event they were really looking forward to, tell them you can't make it because you found something better to do.
  2. Tell them all about your problems and don't listen to theirs. Nothing is more annoying than a one-sided friendship. You should practice complaining for a really long time and then ignoring your friends or running away when it's their turn to talk. Here are some ways to perfect this strategy:
    • Complain about really insignificant things. This tactic will be especially annoying if you complain about something extremely minor, like an A-minus on a term paper, or about someone cutting you off on the highway. The longer you can discuss this mundane topic, the better.
    • Repeatedly say "I have no-one to talk to! I feel like no one cares!" after moaning for hours on end.
    • Don't take their serious problems seriously. If something actually bad happened to your friend, brush it off and then leave. For example, if your friend's car was stolen, you can say something like, "It's not the end of the world!"
      • This is especially annoying if your friend has been dumped by her boyfriend of seven years. Saying something cliched and frivolous like, "There are other fish in the sea!" Comparing the situation to your relationship with your boyfriend of two days is a sure-fire way to annoy your friend.
  3. Be a jealous friend. Nothing is more annoying than a friend who is jealous about anything his or her friend does. This can get annoying incredibly fast. Here are some things to be jealous about:
    • Your friend's significant other. Spend your time talking about how your friend's boyfriend just "isn't good enough" for her. When you're hanging out with the two of them, try to ignore the significant other. If you join them at the movies, sit between them with a tub of popcorn. Chew loudly.
    • Your friend's other friends. Constantly complain that your friend's other friends are "completely annoying." Pick the nicest, most un-annoying friend to repeatedly say this about.

Annoying Your Parents

  1. Spend all of their money. This is a sure-fire way to annoy them. Your parents work hard for their money and not taking their hard work seriously is not only disrespectful, but it's extremely annoying. Here are some ways to really drive the point home:
    • Talk loudly about the frivolous things you have spent their money on, like designer clothes or expensive meals.
    • If you're way too old to be spending your parents' money, pretend like you're only ten years old. Keep asking your parents for your allowance money and ask them why they don't support you more.
    • If you're old enough to work a real job but just don't feel like it, keep saying, "I'm an artist, okay? I am above the rules." If they insist that it's your duty as an adult to have gainful employment, cry, "You're trying to crush my soul!"
  2. Blame them for ruining your life. This will really annoy your parents. Chances are, they've done nothing but try to make your life as easy as possible. Here are some other ways to be incredibly annoying in this fashion:
    • Loudly say, "I didn't ask to be born, okay?"
    • If they nicely ask you to do something small like take out the trash, say, "Why are you doing this to me?"
  3. Don't follow their rules. Your parents have made rules for a reason and nothing is more annoying than disregarding them completely. Showing a complete and utter lack of respect for the way their household works is incredibly annoying. Here are some ways to really drive the point home:
    • Act completely oblivious about your chores. If they ask you why you haven't done the dishes or cleaned up in the living room say, "Who, me?"
    • When they ask you to clean up your own mess, say, "What am I, a slave?"
    • Bring home annoying people at annoying times. Bring your new creepy boyfriend home during your dad's birthday dinner.
    • Throw parties without asking your parents. This will be most effective on a weeknight.

Annoying Your Teacher

  1. Don't follow your teacher's rules or directions. Your teacher has worked hard to create rules for his or her classroom, and nothing is more annoying than a student who undermines them. Acting completely oblivious of the rules is just downright annoying. Here are some ways to really get under your teacher's skin:
    • Waste class time by asking your teacher things that he clearly told you several times. This works best if you ask him something that is clearly written on the board or on the syllabus.
    • If you missed class, instead of looking at the syllabus or asking a classmate, ask your teacher, "What did I miss?"
      • If you really want to annoy your teacher, say, "Did I miss anything?"
    • When your teacher reprimands you for doing something you were instructed not to do, act really oblivious. Say, "I'm sorry, my last teacher said that was okay!"
  2. Disrupt the classroom. Absolutely nothing is more annoying than a student who not only doesn't pay attention, but also creates a disturbance and distracts the teacher as well as other students. Here are some ways to create a racket:
    • Show up late--loudly. Run into the classroom loudly and pant, "Sorry I'm late!" Huff and puff and drop your things everywhere, creating a noisy mess. When you finally take your seat, repeat your favorite phrase, "Did I miss anything?"
    • Talk to other students. Actively talk to other students while the teacher is talking, even if they don't want to talk to you. This is especially annoying if you are asking them a question that you should just ask the teacher.
      • If you want to reach astronomic levels of annoying-ness, ask your teacher a question, and then talk to your classmates while he or she tries to earnestly answer you. That will go over really well!
    • Use your cell phone throughout class. Let it sit on your desk and vibrate repeatedly. Don't bother putting it on silent. Or you can have an incredibly loud and obnoxious ring tone. Let it ring while your phone is buried deep in your bag so it'll take forever to turn it off. This will surely disrupt the class and will make your classmates crack up! Your teacher will love it.
  3. Be a know-it-all. All teachers love a student who thinks he knows more than they do. This works particularly well if your teacher is a true expert on a subject and you know absolutely nothing about it. Here are some ways to be a true know-it-all:
    • After everything your teacher says, say, "How can you be so sure?" If your teacher plays along and tries to explain to you why something is true, grunt or say, "I guess that makes sense," but look obviously unconvinced.
    • If your teacher reprimands you, roll your eyes and sigh. That will work wonders!
    • Constantly reference your other teachers, your parents, or even your friends as true expert. After everything your teacher says, say, "But my dad says..."
    • Let your teacher know if you think you deserved a higher grade on a mediocre assignment. That will earn you lost of brownie points.

Facing the Consequences

  1. Face the repercussions of being annoying in public. Sure, you might have had a great time annoying people in public places, but that doesn't come without consequences. People in public places expect to be left alone, and may not react the way you expected when you annoy them. Here are some things that could happen:
    • People on public transportation will be prone to anger. These people have most likely worked or traveled all day and their patience will be worn extremely thin. They can yell at you, report you, or even get violent.
    • People at sporting events may be especially touchy. If their team loses, or if they've had a lot to drink, they may hurt you and do irreparable damage. Remember that you're playing with fire when you annoy people you don't know.
  2. Face the repercussions of being annoying to your significant other or friends. While being annoy to people who care about you may be fun if you're in the mood to be a jerk, the people who care about you can quickly give up on you, and you may find yourself completely alone. Here are some other things that may happen:
    • Your significant other can leave you at any time. Being annoying may not be as much fun if you're rolling solo.
    • Your friend can stop hanging out with you. You can easily be friend-dumped for being a jerk. Being annoying won't be so much fun if you don't have anyone to annoy.
  3. Face the repercussions of being annoying to your parents. Your parents are supposed to love you more than anyone in the world, but they are still only human. They work hard to give you what you need, and if you continue to act bratty and ungrateful, you'll have to face the music. Here are some things that can happen:
    • Your parents can cut you off. If you annoy them enough, yes, they can really leave you hanging once you reach a certain age--it's their right.
    • Your parents can stop wanting to spend time with you. As you grow older, they may not want to see you on special occasions or call you up. That will sting.
  4. Face the repercussions of being annoying to your teacher. You may have fun bugging your teacher, but your teacher can fight back by failing you. Remember that your teacher has power over your grades, which can affect your professional future. Here are some things your teacher can do:
    • Your teacher can flat-out fail you. This can keep you from moving on to a new grade, or even graduating.
    • If your behavior is bad enough, your teacher can even have you expelled. Try explaining that to a college admissions officer.

Tips

  • Repeat everything someone says as a question.
  • When someone is counting, yell out random numbers. This is a good way to really agitate someone.
  • Say, "Or did you?" after everything someone says. For example, if someone says, "I got a 100% on my exam," reply with "Or did you?"
  • Say "what?" after everything someone says.
  • If they ask a question, ask it back, but do not laugh. It's best just to have a sarcastic look on your face.
  • Reply to what everyone says with, "That's what you think!"
  • Write the surprise ending of a novel on the first page.
  • Follow someone while spraying everything he or she touches with water.
  • At a drive-through, say, "I'll have that to go, please!"
  • End your sentences with, "As a true poet would say."
  • Signal a conversation is over by barking like a dog.
  • Refuse to follow directions unless they are spoken two times.
  • If someone trips you, say, "Wheee!" on the way down.
  • To be a bit more annoying say So why does that matter? whenever someone is finished talking to you.
  • If you want to be super annoying, touch the person you are trying to annoy, not romantically, but nothing is more annoying than someone touching you!!! Try also saying things about them like look at your hair so ugly.
  • At the movies, talk loudly or whisper to strangers beside you like you know them and ask if their popcorn or drinks are good.
  • If you want to annoy people, take FOREVER in the bathroom, especially if a sibling needs to go!

Warnings

  • If you continue to be annoying, you may lose the respect of your parents and friends and could easily get dumped.
  • If you're annoying in public, you can get seriously hurt.

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