Be Noticed

Do you ever feel as if you aren’t being seen? Do you want to be noticed by those around you, either at work, school, or in everyday life? There may be many reasons why you want to be noticed but aren’t. There are some ways that you can work on being noticed by those around you.

Steps

Changing the Way You Think

1. Identify why you want to be noticed. Knowing why you’d like to be noticed will help you to better understand your motivations. Sometimes being noticed is helpful when making a first impression during an interview or networking. Being noticed can also be helpful in social situations when you wanting to make connections, develop friendships, or start romantic relationships. Other times, wanting to be noticed may be an indication that some of your needs are not being met, such as feeling loved and feeling like you belong.
   • This might be an indication that you should work on starting, maintaining, or mending relationship to meet this need.
2. Understand your needs. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, basic human needs begin with physiological needs like food, water, and sleep. The next level is safety, in which you need security in life such as a job, a home, and your health. The third level is the need for friendship and belonging and the last two levels are esteem and self-actualization, which involve self-esteem, respect, creativity, and morality. You can see love and belonging is right above security and safety, so being noticed and loved is highly important to our mental well-being.
   • If you feel like you have never been noticed, or you have a lack of friendship or connection in your life, you inherent need for love and affection will spur you to want to be noticed in order to foster relationships that will get you these components of life.
3. Write a journal. Journaling is a great way to process your motivations for wanting to be noticed. Writing down the instances where you felt you were unnoticed, and your feelings and circumstances surrounding the event, will provide insight into why you’d like to change this aspect of your social encounters. It will also help you with the changing the way you think in order to change the way you act. Journaling not only helps to clarify your thoughts and feelings, it also helps to reduce stress and improve immune health.
   • Write an entry describing a time when you did not feel noticed. How did the experience impact your behaviors and encounters with others?
   • Also write an entry describe your ideal social situation in which you are fully noticed in the ways you want. How are you acting? What are you talking about? Who is noticing you? Why do you think you are being noticed in this situation?

Changing Your Actions

1. Practice showing confidence. Showing confidence is a great way to make others feel comfortable around you during social situations, as well as making you seem approachable. Confidence is social situations is a key factor is starting and maintaining friendships. This confidence will help you get noticed by others. There are several ways you can communicate confidence in social situations. Try to walk taller, speak clearly, and act like you belong in every social situation. Having inner confidence will show on the outside and make you more noticeable to others.
   • This can be hard at first, especially if you have never acted this way before. Keep practicing and you'll get it eventually.
   • Try practicing when you are alone at home before you use these methods in public. Stand in front of the mirror and practice talking in a firm manner. Look over your posture and make sure you are standing straight and with purpose. Also try making direct contact with yourself in the mirror to practice doing it with others.
2. Improve your body language. Body language is the unspoken form of communication in which you indirectly communicate things about yourself to others. It can be very subtle and you might not even know you do it. You can use this form of communication to your advantage, because it doesn’t even require you to talk. Body language can communicate confidence and command attention. One common stance that exudes these traits is standing in a way that takes up space. Try sitting with a strait back with your arms unfolded. Hold your shoulders apart, making them broad to take up more space. This is much better and commanding than sitting hunched with crossed arms.
   • This also works when standing. You can adopt a wide stance with your legs, stand straight and tall, and broaden your shoulders to communicate you are present and confident. Research shows that simply adopting this body language, even when you don’t feel confident, can foster you confidence.
   • Essentially, faking the confidence at first will make you feel confident, and that is because these types of assertive stances release higher testosterone and lower cortical in the brain.
3. Be more assertive. Being assertive will make you be noticed more. In a group situations, try to be more forceful in your comments and discussions without being arrogant. Make statements that start with "I" in order to get across how you feel and draw attention to yourself. Avoid making yourself seem arrogant by not talking about how great you are with a haughty tone. Instead, state your opinions and thoughts without attacking what others believe.
   • Practice "I" statements in the mirror to be more assertive in your opinions. This will help you make more of an impact when you are in a group.
4. Change the volume and speed of your voice. The way you speak to others is another important way to convey confidence as well as be noticed. How you speak with others can determine how they relate to you, and also how you connect with others. Two important aspects of speaking to show confidence are your volume and how fast or slow you speak. If you are not being noticed, it is likely that you often speak softly where others cannot hear you, or possibly you speak so quickly that others cannot understand. Moderating your volume and speed can help to solve these issues to make connection more probable.
   • Try to speak at an even space to ensure your message is being received. You can even try taking some pauses or breaths between ideas to ensure you are not speaking too quickly. Don’t yell but try to project your voice to ensure you are heard. This might be awkward at first, but doing this will get you noticed more often.
   • A good way to test this would be role playing with a friend. Turn on some music or the TV to simulate the noise level in the environment you will be in. Try different voice levels with your friend to see if he or she can hear you and understand what you are saying. Ask for feedback to see if your voice is too loud. Practice the volume that is easiest to hear and understand, but not uncomfortable to listen to, such as yelling.
5. Work on your tone of voice. Another way to get noticed is to work on your tone of voice. Research shows that your tone of voice accounts for 38% of how other receive message that convey your attitude and feelings. If you speak in a flat monotone voice, others may think you are bored or feeling down. Pay attention to your tone and ensure you are using a strong, attractive tone.
   • Speech experts recommend speaking from the diaphragm, which ensure that you will not have a nasally or weak sound. They also recommend taking a signing class or acting class to learn how to breathe properly and project your voice from the diaphragm. Acting in this way will help you get noticed more by those around you.
6. Be authentic to who you are. Being your true self is a fantastic way to be noticed. This allows you to rely on what makes you uniquely you to influence others and their perceptions of you. Being authentic means be who you truly are at your core, and it is a key way to make deep connections with others and be noticed. Being authentic can be intimidating because you may feel vulnerable letting others in on all your quirky thoughts or having them know your true opinions, but this is how they will begin to see who you are and notice how you are a unique contribution to the group.
   • To be authentic, you shouldn’t censor your opinions or feelings about things, especially if you are in a group of people who will listen without judgment. However, it is important to remember that certain topics, such as politics, abortion, sex, or religion, are typically uncomfortable when you’re in company you don’t know well. Stick to topics that are uplifting and show your personality, creativity, and spontaneity.
7. Dress to be noticed. Changing the way you dress can make you more noticeable to those around you. This doesn't mean you should wear wild clothes or strange outfits to get others to notice you. Instead, dress in clothes that compliment your body shape, your height, and your coloring. Wear clothes that you feel comfortable but that will also help you stand out. Try to spice it up a little to lift your spirits and help you get noticed. Pick a brightly colored tie or pocket square that isn't garish. Pick a dress that has a nice, bold pattern that isn't too busy. Just switch around your wardrobe to express the newer, confident you and people will start to notice.
   • You can also try new hair styles or get a hair cut. You can also change around your accessories or wear new shoes. These should make you feel better about yourself and get you noticed by those around you.

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Sources and Citations

See also

• Be the Center of Any Social Situation
• Give Up Control
• Build Self‐Control
• Know That You Are Beautiful
• Stop Running Away from Yourself
• Do Anything
• Have a Social Life
• Be the Best of Yourself
• Overcome Low Self Esteem
• Develop Self‐Esteem

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