Be a Grammar Nazi

Not everyone likes being associated with fascist political beliefs. If you’re a diehard grammar fanatic, however, and you want to make sure everyone knows it, learn how to be a Grammar Nazi.

Steps

Mastering Prescriptive English Grammar

1. Make sure you don’t split infinitives. Familiarize yourself with the uninflected form of verbs. Examples include: to cry, to run, to hide. Keep these two words together when using them. Do not place an adverb or adverbial phrase in between them.
2. Take care not to end a sentence with a preposition. Memorize the prepositions: with, by, on, in, at, to, about. Understand that their function is to articulate the relationship between elements of a sentence. Follow the rule that prepositions are always placed before the noun or pronoun and never after it.
3. Make certain you don’t start a sentence with a conjunction. Memorize the conjunctions: and, but, because, while, until, although, if. Understand that their function is to connect sentences, phrases and words. Follow the rule that you should never start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. Ensure you don’t use the passive voice. Write all of your sentences using the active voice. Consider who or what is doing the action expressed by the verb. Make that the subject of the sentence and place it before the object.
5. Know when to use ‘whom.’ Determine the subject and object of a sentence. Use ‘whom’ only if you want to refer to the object of a sentence or clause. Use ‘who’ only if you want to refer to the subject of a sentence or clause.

Memorizing Common Spelling Errors

1. Understand the difference between ‘to’ and ‘too.” Understand that ‘to’ can function as a particle and also as a preposition. ‘Too’ can only function as an adverb. The word ‘too’ means ‘in addition’ and ‘to an excessive degree.’ Only use the word ‘too’ when you want to use these two meanings. Use the word ‘to’ in all other instances.
2. Know the difference between ‘your’ and ‘you’re.’ Understand that ‘your’ is a possessive adjective. It shows that something belongs to someone. ‘Your’ is normally followed by a noun. Understand that ‘you’re’ is a contraction of two words: you are. ‘You’re’ is normally followed by an adjective or a verb in the –ing form.
3. Recognize the difference between ‘its’ and ‘it’s.’ Be aware that ‘its’ is the possessive of the pronoun ‘it.’ Be aware that ‘it’s’ is the contracted form of ‘it is.’ Try replacing the pronoun ‘it’ with ‘it is’ or ‘it has.’ Use the word ‘its’ if neither of those word choices work.
4. Be aware of the difference between ‘their,’ ‘they’re,’ and ‘there.’ Know that ‘their’ is a possessive pronoun. Use this word if it doesn’t sound funny when you replace it with the word ‘our.’ Understand that ‘they’re’ is the contracted form of ‘they are.’ Use this spelling if it doesn’t sound funny when you replace it with the words ‘we are.’ Recognize that ‘there’ indicates a place. Use this word if it doesn’t sound funny when you substitute the word ‘here.’
5. Note the difference between ‘affect’ and ‘effect.’ Be aware that the word ‘affect’ is almost always used as a verb. Understand that its definition refers to something that you can change or influence. Be aware that the word ‘effect’ is almost always used as a noun. Understand that its definition refers to something that is made or caused to happen.

Studying Punctuation Rules

1. Know when to use a period instead of a comma or a hyphen. Use a period whenever you can end a sentence that has multiple statements or clauses without changing the meaning of either statement or clause. Teach yourself to spot sentences that can be broken up into two or more sentences using a period.
2. Always place a period inside quotation marks. Follow standard punctuation for quotations. Use double quotation marks when you quote someone without changing anything. Only use a single quotation mark when you place a quote inside a quote. Capitalize the first word of sentences within quotation marks. Always place the period inside the quotation marks.
3. Familiarize yourself with the different ways of using commas. Understand that there different ways of using commas.
   • Use a comma to separate objects in a series.
   • Use a comma when you want to link or separate two independent statements or clauses.
   • Use a comma when you want to distinguish introductory words or phrases of a sentence.
   • Use a comma whenever you write phrases that could be placed within parentheses.
   • Use a comma to separate quotes.
4. Know how to use apostrophes. Use an apostrophe if you want to show possession or if the word is a contraction. Never use an apostrophe if you want to make a word plural. Put the apostrophe after the ‘s’ if a word is both plural and possessive. Decide whether you will add an ‘s’ to words ending in ‘s’ when you want to make them plural and stick to this decision.
   • Jim’s pizza = good
   • Jims pizza = bad
   • The Millers = the plural form of Miller
   • The Millers’ household = the possessive and plural form of Miller
   • James’ pizza = good
   • James’s pizza = also good if you always add an ‘s’ to words ending in ‘s’

Enforcing the Rules

1. Correct your friends and family. Practice being a Grammar Nazi as soon as you possibly can. Some people may get angry when you correct them. Therefore, it’s best to learn the different ways of telling someone that their grammar is incorrect with people who are less likely to get especially angry. Practice your skills during family meals and gatherings and learn how to interrupt people without making them too angry.
2. Correct random strangers. Listen carefully when you are on the street or in the grocery store. You will find many opportunities for correction. Don’t be afraid to stop a person mid-sentence and correct them. Offer a smile and allow them a moment to process their mistake. Some people will thank you while others may get angry and walk away. Prepare yourself for different reactions and don’t be afraid to apologize if the person becomes visibly upset. Avoid confrontation that may turn physical.
3. Correct people on the Internet. Login to Facebook and start trolling for grammar mistakes. You will likely find hundreds of mistakes. Add a comment to a person’s wall about their grammar mistake. Send a private message if you don’t want to embarrass them. Join chat rooms and point out as many mistakes as possible.
4. Contact content creators. Search for grammar mistakes in books, magazines, newspapers, billboards and packaging. Find the contact information of the person or company and send them an email or letter noting their mistake. Give your contact information if you’d like them to follow-up. Request a position as a proofreader, if appropriate.
5. Carry a red pen. Have a red pen on you at all times. Look for signs in stores or in random places that have grammar mistakes. Write the correct grammar on these signs using your red pen. Be careful not to deface private or governmental property or you might end up with a criminal charge of vandalism.
6. Teach English. Get a degree or certification that allows you to teach English. Remind your students of your special skill and don’t allow them to make grammar mistakes. Give students with poor grammar bad grades.

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Sources and Citations

See also

• Avoid Colloquial (Informal) Writing
• Use Generic Pronouns
• Paraphrase a Paragraph
• Choose Between "I" and "Me" Correctly
• Use Who and Whom
• Improve Your Grammar
• Use "i.e." Versus "e.g."
• Use Italics
• Use "That" and "Which" Correctly
• Avoid Common Usage and Grammar Mistakes

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What links here

• Use "Too" and "To" Correctly
• Improve Your Grammar
• Capitalise
• Find a Direct Object
• Understand the Difference Between Know and No