Beat Homesickness

Homesickness is a feeling that we have all probably experienced at one time or another. In fact, research shows that about 70% of people have experienced homesickness in their lifetime.[1] Homesickness can occur when you’ve moved away from home for college or when you leave a short time such as during summer camp. It can happen during extended stays away such as in study abroad programs. There are several strategies you can use to help prevent homesickness and to soothe yourself if you do experience homesickness while you’re away.

Steps

Preparing to Leave

  1. Know that homesickness is totally normal. Knowing more about homesickness will provide insight into how common it is for people to have feelings of missing home. [2] Knowing that this is a totally normal experience will help make you feel less stressed or embarrassed about missing home.
  2. Become familiar with the place you will be going to. One study noted that boys who attended summer camp were able to successfully mitigate feelings of homesickness if they prepared for the experience and were familiar with the surrounding they would be in. [2] To prevent homesickness, it is a good idea to review maps, pictures, or other materials associated with the place. This will help you become familiar with your surroundings when you’re there. You can also ask someone who is knowledgeable about where you’ll be going to describe the daily routines or activities you should expect.
    • If it’s practical, you could plan a preliminary visit with family or friends to the place you’ll be going.
  3. Make plans for when you arrive at your new location. When you know what some of your routines and activities will be when you get to the new place, you’ll feel more comfortable. The experience will seem a little more familiar, making homesickness less likely. One study found that vigorous exercise and purposeful social interaction while away helped to stave off feelings of homesickness.
    • Once you have arrived at your new destination, make a point to include regular exercise and seek out opportunities to engage others socially. Make a plan before you leave that details when and where you’ll do exercise and social activities. [2]
  4. Bring something from home. Sometimes homesickness can be difficult because you never know when it might hit you, or when you may see, hear, or smell something that reminds you of home.[3] To help soothe yourself in those moments, it can be helpful to bring a bit of home with you.
    • Bringing along a favorite book, pair of slippers, or a picture can help comfort you when feeling homesick. These items might help make home feel a bit closer.

Adjusting to Your New Location

  1. Start establishing new connections. It is important to keep a balance between staying in touch with home and working to establish a new community where you are. Strike up conversations with people who seem interesting. This might be someone in your dorm or someone in one of your classes.
    • The first few days or weeks of college, summer camp, or studying abroad can be a great opportunity to make friends. Take advantage of situations where you’re not the only new person around.
    • If you’re studying or working in a different country, try a local consulate, expatriate society, or university international society to find other people who are sharing your experience of being away from home. Talking about feelings of unhappiness with people who are sharing your experiences can be helpful.[4]
    • Think about taking up a hobby or joining a club. Or, you can volunteer with a local nonprofit organization. These are great ways to find people with common interests.
    • Keeping yourself in your past home or place may keep you from accomplishing goals in your new place or establishing new connections and friendships.
  2. Adopt your previous habits and routines. Sometimes when we are away from home, our daily routine and even habits might change. [5] This type of change makes the new environment seem even more foreign. To help prevent large changes like this, try to continue some of your familiar habits, even in your new place.
    • For instance, if you have moved away for college and are missing Taco Tuesday nights with your family, try to implement a new Taco Tuesday with your dorm roommates or new group of friends. Or if you are away on summer camp and you do certain things to prepare for bed every night, try to continue this routine. These type of routines often offer structure and familiarity, so try to add some of these into your new environment.
  3. Explore your new location. Step outside with your camera or smart phone. A camera can be a great way to see your new location in a new light. By keeping your mind active and focused on your new surroundings, you can turn your attention away from homesickness. It’s also a great way to document your experiences while away from home.[5]
  4. Immerse yourself in the local culture. To get the most out of your experience, particularly if you’re living abroad, break out of your comfortable cocoon and try new things.[6]
    • For example, try new foods. Food can often be the most defining element of a culture. Trying the local foods and finding something that the natives eat that you also enjoy can go a long way towards making you feel comfortable in a new place.
    • Go to cultural events. Even if you are away at college in a different state, you can still sample the different cultural events that you might not get in your hometown.
  5. Avoid the negative effects of culture shock. Culture shock involves feelings of confusion, doubt, or nervousness caused by being in a new place. This can be especially hard for people living in a new country, but it can also happen if someone moves away to college in a city from a rural area. The trick is not to let it get the better of you.[7] In particular, if you’re living abroad, try these strategies to help overcome culture shock:
    • Learn the rules of living in your host country. Try to understand how and why the local people act the way they do. Their behavior and customs may be different from your own, but they are probably typical for the area.
    • Take time to learn the language. It always helps to understand as much as possible of what people are saying. They will appreciate your effort to communicate with them in their language, even if it is just a few simple phrases, and it will make your daily life much easier.
    • Approach the experience with a positive attitude and an open mind. Approaching your experience as an adventure is likely to help you have a good experience.

Soothing Feelings of Homesickness

  1. Stay connected. Sometimes it is helpful to hear or see a familiar voice and face to help you not feel like home is so far away. Make sure that you plan time to call or Skype with friends and family once you have left. [8] Speaking with friends and family can help keep you updated about the goings on at home, so that you will not feel as though life there has moved on without you.
    • Additionally, staying connected can help lessen feelings of isolation which can be very common when feeling homesick,[1]
  2. Write in a positive action journal. This journal is a place where you can document all the positive experiences you have in your new location. This can be a great cure for the grumps. Keeping a record of things that have made you smile will be a great reminder of the positive aspects of your new home.
    • You can also use a journal to privately work on how to put a positive spin on negative emotions. For example, you might suggest to yourself: "I am going to find new ways to feel like I fit in."
  3. Work on positive self-talk. Repeat positive and constructive phrases to yourself in order to help dispel negative feelings. Remember, what we think or tell ourselves can dramatically influence how we feel. Try phrases such as, “Other people do care about me” or “Everybody gets lonely at times.” [9]
  4. Understand that this adjustment can take time. You should be realistic about how fast you can accomplish the transition to being away from home.[8] If you have moved away to college, it may take the whole first semester to establish new connections that make you feel more at home in your new place. Be sure to allow adequate time for your adjustment.
    • It may be helpful to use a calendar to write or draw out your goals for adjustment over a certain time period. This will help you to become fully aware of how much time you may need, so that you will not have unrealistic expectations or disappointment.

Relieving Stress

  1. Get moving. Exercise is a known stress reliever because it tells the body to release powerful, feel good, neurotransmitters into your brain to elevate your mood and manage stress [10] due to homesickness.[9] Homesickness can often be accompanied by sadness or feelings of loneliness. In order to help improve your overall mood, exercising regularly can help.
    • Additionally, coming up with a regular exercise routine can help structure your schedule in your new place, and if you are exercising at a local gym or outdoors, this can be a great way to meet other people.
  2. Create time for things you enjoy. Ensuring that you have time for yourself, and especially time for things you enjoy is a way to relieve stress. [9],[11]
    • Listen to your favorite music or watch a movie. You can even take time to read a favorite book. Giving yourself time to relax is key when you are dealing with the stress of a new place and feelings of homesickness. Other simple ways to enjoy relaxing include a bubble bath, treating yourself to a pedicure, or going to watch a sports game.
  3. Care for your body. Taking time to care for your body is an exemplar way to help relieve stress. [11] Not having proper nutrition and sleep can be stressful events for your body. Improper sleep and nutrition will not help when you are already experiencing stress associated with the change of being in a new place.
    • Make sure you are getting adequate sleep, which is about eight hours per night.
    • Ensure that you are getting proper nutrition through fruits, vegetables, protein, and complex carbs. It can be tempting to eat unhealthy when you are stressed such as eating fast food, sweets, or soda. But try to avoid this type of coping because it will only hinder you in the long run.
  4. See a mental health professional. Severe homesickness can be incredibly stressful, even feeling somewhat like grief. You might also experience mood changes, frequent crying, fear, panic attacks, and feelings of helplessness. [12] If you think that your feelings of homesickness have turned into something more serious, or the duration, frequency or severity has gotten worse, you should seek help from a mental health professional.[13]
    • Counselors can help you process homesickness in way that is similar to healing from other losses or grief. And because leaving home might leave you with unmet needs such as help making decisions or organizing or structuring your day, a counselor can help you to find resources to meet these needs to help you to learn skills. Then you meet some of your needs yourself.[14]
    • Keep track of your feelings over a week or two. If you find yourself crying frequently or having panic attacks, for example, you should seek professional help.

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Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-22764986
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 http://www.apa.org/monitor/jun05/homesickness.aspx
  3. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/emotions/homesickness.html#
  4. ↑ http://www.theguardian.com/education/mortarboard/2014/jun/11/homesickness-international-student-university
  5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 http://www.gooverseas.com/blog/ways-reduce-homesickness-abroad
  6. ↑ http://www.internations.org/magazine/living-in-a-foreign-country-how-to-adapt-15281
  7. ↑ http://travel.gc.ca/travelling/living-abroad/culture-shock
  8. ↑ 8.0 8.1 http://www.counselling.cam.ac.uk/selfhelp/leaflets/homesickness
  9. ↑ 9.0 9.1 9.2 http://counseling.uoregon.edu/TopicsResources/StudentSelf-Help/Transitions/HowtoCopewithHomesickness.aspx
  10. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/exercise-and-stress/art-20044469
  11. ↑ 11.0 11.1 http://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management.htm
  12. ↑ http://www.griefandsympathy.com/howtodealwithhomesickness.html#axzz3dnKBe7Mg
  13. ↑ https://wellbeing.rice.edu/homesickness/#pos8
  14. ↑ http://www.iup.edu/toc.aspx?id=92129
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