Cope when No One Cares About You

Sometimes, it's awfully easy to feel that nobody cares about you. Even the most popular and famous people have doubts about whether or not people close to them actually care. Learn how to overcome these moments of doubt, and value yourself for who you are. If you often feel worthless or unloved, take steps to improve your life.

Steps

Finding Support and Self Worth

1. Fight feelings of worthlessness. People who feel worthless often can't accept that anyone cares about them. Remind yourself that you are worth caring about, no matter how you feel or what anyone says to you. Practice talking back to negative thoughts, even if you feel like giving in to them.
   • Think about how you respond when someone offers you support. Do you argue with them, as though you're trying to prove how worthless you are? This can make you feel worse, and make other people less willing to help. Pay attention to your responses in these situations. Learn to stop and say "thank you" instead.
2. Reach out to old friends and acquaintances. If your close friends and family aren't there for you, think back to people who were kind in the past. Find the contact information for old friends. Share your feelings with a family friend, a teacher, or acquaintance who's good at listening.
   • Talking in person or over the phone tends to work better than talking through text or online chat.
3. Understand "uncaring" responses. When you're severely depressed, it's easy to assume that everyone is mean, unkind and uncaring. Most often, people are just more focused on their own lives. This does not mean that they do not care about you. Responses like "It will get better" or "Just ignore it" may sound dismissive, but the person saying it often thinks they're giving real help. These people may be able to cheer you up in other ways, but be careful talking to them when you're at a low point.
4. Find new hobbies and friend groups. If you have few friends or close family members, one argument can temporarily destroy your whole support network. Pick up new activities to meet more people, and give you another source of self worth.
   • Try volunteering. Helping others can be a great way to feel good about yourself.
   • Join a club, a religious organization, or class at a local community college.
   • Practice Talk-to-Someone-You've-Never-Met to get to know them better.
5. Find support online. For times when you have no one to talk to, find a supportive stranger to speak with anonymously. Try Blah Therapy or 7 cups.
   • During a mental health crisis, contact a suicide hotline. These are available through online chat and phones worldwide. Look for your country at Befrienders.org, suicide.org, and iasp.info.
6. Keep a collection of happy memories. When you're depressed, it's hard to notice the positive events in your life. Hugs or supportive conversations may not even feel real to you, or you might forget them a few hours later. When you're feeling better, write down as many happy memories as you can. Keep these in a journal or box of papers. Add to this whenever someone sends you a happy message or does something nice for you. Read these over the next time you feel like no one cares about you.
7. Spend time with animals. Pets can be great allies during hard times, especially dogs. If you don't have a pet yourself, ask a friend or neighbor whether you can walk his dog or visit his cat.

Treating Depression

1. Understand your depression. If you often feel hopeless or worthless, you are probably depressed. This is a serious medical condition that needs treatment. The sooner you understand this, the sooner you can find support and improve your well-being.
   • Know-if-You-Have-Depression.
2. Join a depression support group. The people in these groups share their experiences, encourage each other, and give advice on how to cope. You might be surprised by the number of people who understand what you're going through.
   • In the United States, search this map of support groups.
   • There are many online support groups or depression forums as well, including the DBSA alliance, depression-understood.org, or the collection listed at psych central.
3. Keep a journal. Take a few minutes each day to unload your thoughts and feelings on paper. Many people find they feel better if they get a chance to "share" private experiences in this way. Over time, the journal can help you identify what affects your mood, and which coping mechanisms help or don't help.
   • End each entry with something you're grateful for. Remembering small things like a good cup of coffee or a stranger smiling at you can boost your mood.
4. Make healthy lifestyle changes. Forcing yourself to stick to a regular schedule can help your mood, though this can take a few weeks to kick in. Try to get enough sleep each night, and get up and dressed each morning. Leave the house for at least a short walk. Eating a healthy diet and exercising regularly can lead to a major mood boost.
   • Avoid alcohol, nicotine, and other drugs. While they may make you feel better in the short term, they often make it harder to fight your depression. Overcome-an-Addiction with professional help if necessary.
5. Talk to a doctor. Tell a doctor that you may be depressed. She should be able to give you information about depression resources in your area.
   • If the doctor dismisses your concerns, talk to another worker at the office. The nurse or person at the front desk may be able to recommend someone, or help you make the phone call.
6. Seek therapy. Therapy is an effective treatment for depression, recommended by many experts and organizations. Regular visits with a licensed psychologist can help you find coping mechanisms and make positive life changes.
   • You might need to try out several therapists before you find one that you are comfortable with.
   • Give it time to work. Many people visit a therapist weekly for six to twelve months.
7. Consider medication. A psychiatrist can prescribe medication to manage depression. There are many varieties of medication out there, and you may need to try several before you find one that works. Talk to your psychiatrist often about how your new medication is working, and about side effects you've noticed.
   • A combination of medication and therapy may be the most effective treatment, especially for teenagers. Medication alone is typically less effective over the long term.
8. Practice meditation or prayer. When you're upset, visit a quiet, private place. Natural surroundings work especially well. Sit down and focus on deep, slow breathing. Many people learn to improve their mood through meditation or prayer.

Tips

• Your value does not depend on the approval or acceptance of other people. Be content with your own approval. Live your life.
• Don't let the people who put you in this situation and drag you down. Show them who the better person is by refusing to give up or appear defeated.
• Distract yourself. Get a job or join a sport in which you are interested.
• If the people who don't care about you are your parents, talk to a teacher or counselor. They can help you get to the right people or agency.

Warnings

• Sometimes you may not be able to think of a time when you were happy, or proud, or even peaceful. Don't worry, this is only because you are in that hole. There's a moment; you'll find it once you feel better.
• If this feeling persists and leads to severe thoughts of suicide, immediately call the suicide hotline at 1 (800) 273-8255.
• Commiseration can be a great comfort, but after a point the conversation should turn to improving your life. People who dwell on negative events tend to stay depressed longer, even if they talk about it with friends.

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• Tell Someone That You Don't Care What They Think of You

Sources and Citations

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