Change Yourself Completely

Creating an entirely "new" you can be incredibly challenging, but if you feel you aren’t living up to your potential and think your life is currently on the wrong path, a drastic amount of positive change might be the best thing for you. Changing yourself completely requires honest reflection about your ideal self and current weaknesses. Set short and long term goals to reach your ideal, then find role models who will help guide you along the way and periodically self-evaluate your goals to stay on the right track.

Steps

Understanding the Change

  1. Figure out if this is what you want. As simple as that, ask yourself, “Do I want to make this change.” In order to make such a drastic change, you need to be sure that you truly desire it. Think about every aspect of your life and if you’re willing to change them.[1]
    • Evaluate the direction of your life.
    • Understand that the activities of your life might have to change.
    • Be realistic about what it will take to get the consequences you desire.
    • If you don’t honestly believe you want to change all of these things, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
  2. Figure out if it is possible. Now that you know you want to change, you need to find out if you can change. Sit down and decide if you have everything you need to make a serious life change.[1]
    • You need the ability to change.
    • You need the tools to change.
    • You need the time to change.
    • You need the right support to change.
  3. Be honest about yourself. You may think you’re being honest with yourself about your characteristics. If you’re portraying someone completely different than you believe you are, you’ll never understand what’s standing in your way.[2]
    • Ask your peers what they think about you. If it doesn’t match up with your perspective of yourself, you aren’t being honest.
    • Evaluate the choices you make throughout the day and why you make them. When you do this, you’ll see that the reasoning behind your choices is what got you where you are. In order to change yourself completely, you’ll have to form your choices behind new reasoning.
    • For example, when you choose to stay in versus meeting friends, evaluate why you chose this and what it says about you.
  4. Write down your outcome. Make an end goal for this process and write it down. Make it a measurable goal. It can have multiple parts to it, or it can be a big picture goal. Either way, put the written goal somewhere you can see every day to keep you motivated.

Find Some Role Models

  1. Learn from the best. A role model can be absolutely anyone: younger, older, friend, relative, stranger, or celebrity. Find someone who genuinely embodies the pure person you want to be. Maybe one person dresses like you want to and one person acts like you want to. You can use those pieces of each person to get inspiration from.[2]
    • If it is someone you know, set up a meeting to pick their brain. Find out how they do what they do.
    • If it is someone you don’t know, do some research. Find out everything you can about them and see what you can do to emulate their characteristics in your everyday life.
  2. Associate with the right people. Even better than finding your role models is surrounding yourself by positive people. When you sit in someone’s presence, you have much more of an ability to model how they act. Find people that have similar goals as you, or people that have already reached your goals, and spend time with them.[2]
    • For example, if you wish to become more outgoing, surround yourself with outgoing people. If you wish to be more financially successful, spend time with the people who have financial success.
    • Avoid people that will negatively influence your change. If you’re trying to live a healthier lifestyle, it is very hard to be around someone that lives a sedentary lifestyle and eats fast food for every meal.
  3. Get an accountability partner. An accountability partner is someone who keeps you on track. In return, you can help keep them on track. It should be someone that you can be in touch with any time that you’re having difficulty. Also, you should set up weekly meetings with them (via phone or in person) to talk about your progress.
    • Making your role model into your accountability partner would be a great idea. They know what it takes to get what you want, and they can help you better than anyone.

Make Tangible Goals

  1. Set daily/weekly goals. You have a “big picture goal,” now you need to make smaller ones. Every goal you make should be a step toward your outcome. It should also be tangible, or measurable. Make your accountability partner aware of these goals.
    • “Be a nicer person,” is not a tangible goal. Change it to, “Perform 2 nice things for strangers every day.”
    • Don’t make a goal saying, “Workout more.” Make it tangible by saying, “Workout 4 times a week.”.[3]
  2. Adjust your goals. If you’re having difficulty reaching your goals, feel free to switch them up. Don’t use this as a cop out, but you need realistic goals or you’ll get upset and never accomplish the change. If you fail to reach your goal once, don’t automatically adjust them. Sit with your accountability partner and talk about if you really tried everything that you could to reach your goal. If you did and it was still unreachable, come up with a new goal together.
    • For example, if you’re trying to start studying more and you made a goal to study 6 hours a day, you might have trouble doing so because of school or work schedules. Change your goal to be 4 hours a day and attempt to reach that.
  3. Accept success and keep moving forward. Take a moment to realize every little success you have. Each time you reach a goal, you’re getting close to your outcome. This is a great thing to have happen. However, don’t get complacent when this happens. Take the time to appreciate it and stay driven toward your next goal.

Evaluate Your Changes

  1. Recognize when you reach your outcome. When you’ve completely changed, you may not notice it at first. However, if you take the time to sit down and look at the end goal that you wrote when you decided to change, you might surprise yourself. All the little changes have become a part of you and you’ve completely changed yourself.[4]
  2. Make new goals. Don’t stop here. Use this success as motivation to drive yourself to become a better version of the person you’ve become. Just as you did before, make a big picture goal and then break it into daily or weekly goals. You’ve likely become a goal oriented person through this change, so keep it up.
    • For example, if you were aiming to change the way you look, make goals to stay focused on this. Tell yourself to go shopping once a season and buy 2 brand new outfits.
  3. Stay in touch with your accountability partner. This will help keep you from regressing. Continue to share with them all of your little goals as well as your new, bigger ones.
    • Offer to help them with their goals moving forward. Show appreciation for the help they’ve given you and offer it back.

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Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 http://sidsavara.com/personal-development/personal-growth-and-change-how-to-change-yourself
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 http://www.forbes.com/sites/dorieclark/2014/10/10/how-to-reinvent-yourself-and-change-your-life/
  3. ↑ http://sidsavara.com/product-reviews/7-simple-steps-by-jonathan-wells-book-review-life-values-success-goals
  4. ↑ https://www.mindtools.com/page6.html

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