Chat with a Girl on Facebook

Chatting with a girl you like is always difficult, but it can be even more intimidating on Facebook. Thankfully, Facebook is a very versatile platform that allows you to share photos, discover more about her interests, and interact both publicly and privately. By using Messenger or writing on her wall, you can deepen your connection and start a lasting conversation.

Steps

Writing on Her Wall

  1. Make a joke on her wall. If you don’t know the girl very well, it makes sense to first interact with her publicly on her wall. This type of interaction a bit more casual, but whatever you say or share may be subject to the comments and likes of others, so keep that in mind. To get a conversation going, try making a good-natured joke about something she’s posted. This shows that you are engaged with what she’s interested in and that you have a sense of humor.[1]
    • Keep your jokes clean and don’t try to tear down any other comments with yours.
    • If she likes or comments positively on your post, that is a good sign. You could try progressing to a private message, if she’s receptive to your wall posts.
  2. Share pictures on her wall. Photos are a good way to reinforce a connection with someone you like. If you have photos together from a day at work or school trip, you could post them and tag her. You could also share a funny photo that is not of the two of you but appropriate to a post she makes, such as a meme, to make her laugh.[2]
    • If you have photos together, even in a group, you could share one and say, “Remembering this awesome day today!”
  3. Reinforce inside jokes when possible. If you and the girl you’re trying to chat with have any inside jokes, post one on her wall. Inside jokes are good because they don’t tire out quite as easily as other jokes. Posting one (even if it was created in a larger group) will make her smile and cement a bond between you.
  4. Be kind. In all your Facebook wall interactions, strive to be kind. It can be hard to read sarcasm online. If your tone is difficult to discern, she may interpret your posts as critical, even if that’s not how you mean them.[3]
    • Phrases to avoid might include, “I’m not rude; I just say what everyone else is thinking.”

Chatting with Her on Messenger

  1. Ask about an assignment or schedule to open a message. Messenger sends private messages between you and the girl you’re trying to chat with. Your messages won’t be subject to the comments and likes of other people, but it will feel a little more personal. If you’re unsure how to begin, open the conversation by asking about something perfunctory rather than personal. This doesn’t mean that a personal conversation can’t follow, but it puts less pressure on getting the conversation started.[4]
    • You could say, “Hey, do you know what the English homework is for tomorrow? I forgot to write it down,” or “What time does our shift at the restaurant begin tomorrow, again?”
  2. Use a conversation starter. Conversation starters are open-ended questions that allow you to get to know someone better. These don’t have to be particularly loaded or customized. They are just to break the ice. If you’ve been writing on each other’s Facebook wall posts already, you could even follow up on something she’s posted about.
    • For a basic conversation starter, you could say, “So, what are you up to this weekend?” or “Read any good books lately?”
    • If she posted on her wall that she saw the new Star Wars movie, for example, you could say, “I’ve been meaning to see the new Star Wars. How did you like it?” This opens an opportunity for you to get to know each other better.
  3. Draw on joint activities. It’s likely you and the girl you’d like to chat with know each other through something you both already do. Try talking about joint activities like classes or work you already have in common. Drawing on shared experiences will bring you closer.[5]
    • You could say, “I really liked that drill we did at practice today. You ran so fast!” or “That customer at the store today was hilarious. Did she really think we made cupcakes at a hot dog place?”
  4. Talk about mutual interests. Chances are you want to talk to this girl on Facebook because there’s something you like about her. Talk about your mutual interests to connect with her on a deeper level.[6]
    • You could say, “I saw you’re wearing a Ramones T-shirt in your profile photo. I love them too. What’s your favorite album?”
  5. Ask her about herself. Most people enjoy talking about themselves, and everyone appreciates a good listener. Ask the girl questions to get to know her better.
    • You could say, “What’s your favorite food?” or “Do you like the outdoors?”
    • Many people list their interests in their Facebook profiles. Do a little research on what she likes before talking to her.
    • Avoid asking anything excessively personal, which may make her uncomfortable. Religion, sex, politics and money are some sensitive topics it’s best to avoid when getting to know someone.
  6. Keep conversations on the shorter side. In the beginning, it may make sense to keep Messenger conversations shorter rather than longer. A conversation that goes on and on may feel uncomfortable to her if you don’t know each other well. Get to know one another gradually over multiple messages to build friendship in a natural way.
  7. Respect her boundaries. If the girl you’re chatting with blocks you or asks you not to contact her anymore, respect her wishes. She may not be interested in the type of relationship you’re seeking right now.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ https://icebreakerideas.com/ice-breaker-jokes/
  2. ↑ http://www.clickonf5.org/9094/share-pictures-videos-specific-people-facebook/
  3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-clarity/201701/the-challenge-be-kinder-in-2017
  4. ↑ http://www.sheknows.com/community/living/crushinghow-talk-someone-you
  5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201112/break-the-ice-how-talk-girls-and-guys-0
  6. ↑ http://www.beyondtalk.net/talk-to-guys/
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