Chug a Beer

Do your friends make disparaging remarks about your drinking ability whenever you fail to chug a beer? Do you feel the need to prove your drinking skill by chugging down beers faster than any of your buddies? Read on to discover the techniques to humiliate your friends and reclaim your reputation for being able to to hold your drink.

Steps

Chugging from a Mug or Cup

  1. Let the beer warm up a little. It helps if the beer is not ice-cold (talk about brain freeze), but you shouldn't drink warm beer either or you'll end up with a stomach full of foam.
  2. Let the beer build up bubble if you pour it, then wait for the bubbles to subside. You want to get rid of as many bubbles as possible because that will make the beer easier to drink quickly. While you're waiting, the beer will warm up a bit (see previous step).
  3. Right before drinking, hit the bottom of the glass on the table. This releases more carbon dioxide.
  4. Lean your head back slightly. Open your throat, take a half breath right before drinking, and then swing the glass or can quickly so the beer rushes to the back of your throat. Swallow right before the beer actually hits your throat, then let gravity take over. The beer should essentially pour down your throat.

Shotgunning Method

  1. Use a knife, screwdriver or other small sharp implement to puncture the base of the can when it is on its side so that it doesn't spray at you. This allows a smooth and fast rate of flow.
  2. Bend over and place the hole to your mouth.
  3. Stand up quickly and open the ring pull, or whatever fastening mechanism is on top.
  4. Slam the can down in exuberance when finished.

Carburetor Method

  1. Instead of punching the hole in the bottom of the can, place it in the back top section directly across from the opening.
  2. Place your finger over the hole (carburetor).
  3. Open the beer and begin to drink normally.
  4. Open your throat and remove your finger from the hole in the back of the can. Using this method, a beer can be drunk in less than 4 seconds.

Snorkeling "Strawpedo" Method

  1. Open the bottle in the usual fashion.
  2. Insert a bendy straw bent at 90 degrees, with the shorter side on the outside and the longer side in the bottle.
  3. Put your mouth over the opening, holding the straw in place with hand.
  4. Tilt your head back.
  5. Open your throat and swallow until all the beer's gone. The straw allows air into the bottle. Using this method there will be no spillage and the beer can be finished in less than 10 seconds (12 ounces, 330ml bottle).

Full Tilt Method

Ultimate Frisbee players often partake in the timeless tradition of racing to drink beer from an upside down disc. Doing so in a timely manner will make you a god amongst men. While a 175g disc will hold up to five beers, players often stick to three 12oz beers.

  1. Pour the beer carefully and slowly into the disc. Keep the can low to minimize bubbles. Consider using the nose-grease trick to banish any foam on the surface.
  2. Lift the disc up toward your mouth.
  3. Tilt the disc downward and get drinking.
  4. Stop to belch. Even the most seasoned chuggers need a break to release. Halfway through, or soon after, get all that carbonation out of your stomach. Take a few seconds to regroup if needed and finish strong.
  5. Finished.



Tips

  • Practice with water. Your "training" will be more effective if you have your wits about you.
  • Use discretion. Don't chug a beer if you are too full/drunk or you may throw up. Too many in succession may also have the same effect.
  • Crush the can. If you're chugging from a can, crush it from back to front, as if you're squeezing a tube of toothpaste. This should help you push the beer out of the can and into your mouth faster than it would normally flow.
  • Know that you can experience unruly side-effects if you drink too much.

Warnings

  • Understand that drinking alcohol while pregnant can cause serious birth defects to the baby and should never be done.
  • Always drink responsibly.
  • Do not drive your car if you have been drinking. Call a cab or get a designated driver to bring you home.

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