Deal With Negative Thoughts

Everyone has negative thoughts from time to time, which is normal. But an excess of negative thinking can cause problems. If allowed to continue, negative thoughts can affect multiple areas of our wellbeing, including physical health.[1] There are some simple ways to shift your thought patterns and bring about a more positive perspective, including self-talk, visualization, and distracting yourself. Keep reading to learn more about how to deal with negative thoughts.

Steps

Understanding Your Negative Thinking

  1. Understand that negative thoughts have a purpose. Even though negative thoughts may be disruptive and cause you to feel inadequate, they are meant to be beneficial. Some psychologists even believe that a dose of pessimism can be healthy because it forces us to be more resourceful and reflect when things are not going well for us.[2]
    • If you've been having negative thoughts, know that you're not alone. Negative thinking makes up a large portion of our thoughts. Negative thinking might even be inherent in the psychological makeup of human beings. Like our ancestors, we're constantly taking in our environment and trying to make it better. This process becomes a problem when we start to think that these negative thoughts are true.[3]
  2. Know when negative thoughts are a problem. If your negative thoughts are affecting your behavior or interfering with your daily life, then they are causing a problem and you may need to seek the help of a mental health professional. Too much negativity may lead to an intensification of your problems because you expect things to go wrong. One way to describe this phenomenon is the self-filling prophecy which refers to the cycle of having an expectation or thought of a situation that creates a new behavior that makes the expectation of the situation true.[4]
    • For example: You think you will fail the test in English tomorrow. Because you think you will fail no matter what, your behaviors or action is not to study for the test. And then you fail the test. The long term consequences of this are starting to think that you are stupid or a bad test taker, which leads to more problems with test taking.[2]
  3. Be aware of the different types of negative thoughts. Negative thinking comes in many different forms. Being aware of these forms may help you to know when you are having a negative thought and work to counteract that thought. Not all negative thoughts will fit into a category, but there are some common types of negative thoughts that you may be dealing with.[5]
    • Filtering is when you ignore any positive aspects of a situation. For example, if you passed a very difficult course with a C+, you were hoping for an A, you might think to yourself “I am a mediocre student.”
    • Black and white thinking is when you refuse to see gray areas and make all or nothing judgments. For example, if you get a B- on a test when you were expecting an A, you might think to yourself, “I am a failure.”
    • Overgeneralization is when you assume that because something happens once it will always happen again. For example, if you get a B- on a test when you were hoping for an A, you might think to yourself, “I will always get B minuses on my tests.”
    • Jumping to Conclusions is when you assume you know how someone else thinks or feels. For example, if you get a B- on a test when you were hoping for an A, you might think to yourself, “The teacher thinks I am dumb.”
    • Catastrophizing is when you think the worst is going to happen all the time. For example, you might be catastrophizing if you think to yourself before each test you take, “I am going to get the lowest grade in the class!”
    • Personalization is when you believe you have had an effect on situations or events you have no control over. For example, if your boss yells at you all of the time, you might think to yourself, “It’s my fault that my boss yells at me all of the time.”
    • Control Fallacy is when you feel that you have no control or you have all the control. For example, you may think to yourself, “Nothing I do will help me to get an A on my math test.”
    • Fallacy of Fairness is believing things happen because life is not fair. For example, you might think to yourself, “I got a B- on my math test because life is not fair.”
    • Blaming is believing other people are responsible for your emotions. For example, you might think to yourself, “Susie is the reason why I am sad all of time.”
    • Emotional Reasoning is when you assume an initial feeling is true just because you had that feeling. For example, you might think to yourself, “I feel like I am a failure, therefore, I am a failure.”
    • Fallacy of Change is when you believe that other people need to change for you to be happy. For example, you might think to yourself, “I will never be happy until Susie changes her attitude.”
    • Global Labeling is when you attach an unhealthy label to yourself or others because of one event or action. For example, if you forget to study for a test, you might think to yourself, “I am unreliable.”[5]
  4. Keep a thought record to better understand what motivates your negative thoughts. Journaling about your negative thoughts may help you start to understand them and deal with them. Start by writing down an event that you wish had gone differently or that you think you could have handled better. When possible track your feelings about the event as well.[6]
    • For example, you might record something like, “I did poorly on the English test. I felt anxious before the test because it reminded me of another time that I failed a test.”
  5. Identify your automatic thoughts. In addition to recording your situational negative thoughts, you should also keep a record of your automatic thoughts. These are the thoughts that pop into your head all of the time. They may seem to occur without warning or reason.[6]
    • For example, your automatic thoughts might be something like, “I am stupid,” “I am a disappointment,” or “I will never succeed in life.”
  6. Determine what type of negative thoughts you are having. Reconsider the most common types of negative thoughts to help you determine what category your thoughts fall into. Identify the type(s) of thoughts that you are having and label them as such in your thought record.[6]
    • For example, if you often think to yourself “I am stupid,” then you might label this thought as “Black and White Thinking” because you are ignoring things that you do well.
  7. Identify your underlying concerns. In order to deal with negative thoughts, you will need to become more aware of those thoughts and what assumptions and beliefs are associated with them. Choose a negative thought and think about the concerns that might be driving that thought. This process may make you feel uncomfortable, but it is important to understand the motivation for your negative thoughts.[7]
    • For example, a negative thought might be something like, “I am stupid.” The motivation for this thought might be related to concerns about your intelligence and natural abilities.
  8. Examine the root cause of your negative thoughts. Remember that your negative thoughts are related to a belief or assumption that you hold. It is important to try to find the root of that belief or assumption and begin to break it down.[6]
    • For example, if you often have the thoughts about failing tests, consider the role of your parents and teachers in developing that belief in you. Do your teachers or parents say that you will not be successful in life if you keep failing tests?
  9. Challenge your thoughts. You can also better understand your thoughts by challenging them with certain questions. This technique can be used when you are aware and able to recognize your negative thoughts. The goal of challenging negative thoughts is to realize that most thoughts are not true but just a reaction to something. Ask yourself the following questions:[6][8]
    • Is the thought true?
    • If you think the thought is true, how do you know it is true? What are the facts?
    • How do you react to the negative thoughts? What do you do, think, or feel as a result?
    • How would not having the thoughts change you actions or behaviors?
  10. Identify areas for positive change. Finding areas for positive change can help you to redirect your focus and generate more good things in your life. Ask yourself if your negative thoughts tend to be connected to certain things in your life, such as work, a relationship, or physical health. Start with one of those areas and identify ways in which you can improve the situation.
    • For example, if your job constantly stresses you out, think of things you can change about it. It may be that you'll still need to work long hours, but perhaps you're taking on more than you need to. You could think of ways of trimming off unnecessary tasks or improving time management. In addition, you could teach yourself stress-reduction techniques.

Talking Through Negative Thoughts

  1. Understand the benefits of addressing your thoughts out loud. In addition to writing and thinking about your negative thoughts, addressing your thoughts out loud can also help you to deal with your negative thoughts. Using positive self-talk to address negative thoughts can help to change your perspective and help you to become less critical of yourself over time.[9]
  2. Reframe negative thoughts as they occur. To begin using positive self-talk, do not allow a negative thought to go by without reframing it as something positive. This process might seem awkward at first, but over time it will become easier and you will begin to develop a more positive outlook. The next time you have a negative thought, turn it into a positive one.[9]
    • For example, if you think to yourself, “I am never going to lose weight.” Force yourself to reframe the thought into a positive statement. Say something like, “I am going to keep trying to lose weight.” By changing the negative thought into a hopeful statement, you are forcing yourself to focus on a positive part of the situation.
  3. Point out that your negative thoughts are not real. You can deal with your negative thoughts by pointing out that they do not reflect you and that they are only thoughts. When you have a thought, repeat the thought to yourself out loud. As you repeat the thought, make sure that you label it as a thought.
    • For example, if you think to yourself, "I'm a failure," acknowledge that it is just a thought. You can acknowledge that it is just a thought by saying to yourself, "I'm having the thought that I'm a failure."[3]
  4. Identify the motivation behind your negative thoughts. Remember that sometimes your negative thoughts have a purpose. Sometimes your mind is just trying to protect you from getting into trouble or having something bad happen. That does not mean that these thoughts won’t still bother you. It just means that you will have to take a different approach to address these types of thoughts. One way that you can deal with negative thoughts that are a result of your mind trying to protect you is to thank your mind out loud.
    • For example, you may think, "I'm going to be late for work because of this traffic jam and my boss is going to yell at me." In this case, you can say to yourself, "Thank you, mind. Thank you for looking out for my best interests, but there's nothing you need to do right now."[3]
  5. Identify your "stories." Negative thoughts have patterns that can be made less disruptive if you label them according to what kind of story they tell. In other words, you may have a variety of different thoughts that all boil down to the same basic meaning. Figure out the patterns of your negative thoughts and label them. This can help you to let them go.
    • For example, if you tend to say to yourself, "I am bad at my job," you can say to yourself, "Oh, this is my ‘I’m a terrible employee’ story."[3] Framing a thought this way will help to remind you that you often have these types of thoughts.
  6. Turn your negative thoughts into a song. Sometimes you can address and a correct a negative thought by making a joke out of it. As silly as it sounds, you may be able to dispel your negative thoughts by singing about them. Use the tune of a familiar song, such as "Row, Row, Row Your Boat," or the alphabet song to turn your negative thoughts into a song.
    • If you don’t feel like singing, you can say your thoughts out loud in a funny voice, like a cartoon character.[3]

Developing More Positive Thoughts

  1. Accept that you will continue to have some negative thoughts. There's no shame in negative thinking; negative thoughts are caused by anxiety and not by who you are as a person. Wishing away your negative thoughts will most likely exacerbate the situation. Negative thoughts can lessen with practice and time. As long as you get into the practice of examining your thoughts and the role they are playing, whether it's to protect you or from feeling anxious, you can control how they affect you.[10]
  2. Distract yourself with positive activities. Keeping busy gives you less time to dwell on your thoughts and can also remind you of the things you enjoy. Look for activities that you enjoy or try something new. For example, you could:
    • Go for a jog: this tires your mind and helps reduce stress through physical activity.
    • Take a walk somewhere you enjoy, like a park.
    • Watch a funny movie or TV show, read a funny book, or listen to a podcast of a favorite radio show.[10]
    • Spend time with a friend, family member, or social community. Staying connected with others can help you feel more positive and turn your mind away from yourself.[11]
  3. Take care of yourself. Taking good care of yourself can help you to deal with negative thoughts as well. Eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly can help you feel better mentally and physically.[12][13] Make sure that you are eating well, sleeping enough, and getting regular exercise to feel your best.
    • Try to eat a balanced diet that include plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein. Avoid junk food, as well as excess sugar and fat.[14]
    • Get between 7-8 hours of sleep per night. Keep in mind that this is only the recommendation for adults. Some people may be okay with less than 7 hours or require more than 8 hours of sleep per night.[15]
    • Exercise for 30 minutes three times a week. Even a 30-minute walk, or two 15-minute strolls, can count.[11][16]
  4. Use positive daily affirmations to build yourself up. Positive daily affirmations can help you to deal with the negative emotions that often accompany negative thoughts. Take a few moments every day to look at yourself in the mirror and say something encouraging to yourself. You can either say something that you believe about yourself or something that you would like to believe about yourself.[17] Some examples of positive affirmations include:
    • “I am intelligent.”
    • “I am a caring friend.”
    • “People enjoy spending time with me.”
  5. Forgive yourself when you make a mistake. Forgiving yourself, just like you would forgive a friend, is an important part of learning how to deal with negative thoughts. If you are dealing with negative thoughts that stem from mistakes you have made, you need to learn how to forgive yourself. One way that you can begin to silence your inner critic is to learn how to forgive yourself when you make mistakes, just like you would forgive a dear friend.
    • The next time you make a mistake, take a deep breath and try to stop yourself from thinking any negative thoughts. Instead, practice saying something like, “I made a mistake, but that does not make me a bad person.”[18]
  6. Congratulate yourself for little victories. Another way to combat negative thinking is to congratulate yourself when you do something well and remind yourself of things that you have done well in the past. Giving yourself a little pat on the back now and then will help you to stay focused on your positive qualities and stop dwelling on negative thoughts and feelings.[18]
    • For example, instead of dwelling on something bad that happened at school, pick one positive thing that happened and congratulate yourself. You might say something like, “You did an awesome job in gym class today!”

Tips

  • If your negative thoughts become too much for you to deal with on your own, talk to a licensed therapist for help. A therapist may be able to help you deal with your negative thoughts using different metacognitive therapy techniques.

Warnings

  • Changing your negative thoughts takes time and commitment. You are, in a sense, breaking an old habit. Don't expect change overnight, but be patient with yourself: over time, you'll likely see things move in a positive direction.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 http://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-beat-negative-thinking/?all=1
  3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 3.2 3.3 3.4 http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/shyness-is-nice/201305/stop-fighting-your-negative-thoughts
  4. ↑ https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/cognitive-theory-and-addiction-thoughts-beliefs-expectations/
  5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-cognitive-distortions/
  6. ↑ 6.0 6.1 6.2 6.3 6.4 http://www.cognitivetherapyguide.org/thought-records.htm
  7. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/becoming-aware-of-your-depressive-thoughts/
  8. ↑ http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/2011/08/the-four-questions-to-rid-automatic-negative-thoughts/
  9. ↑ 9.0 9.1 http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950?pg=2
  10. ↑ 10.0 10.1 http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/bad-thoughts
  11. ↑ 11.0 11.1 http://www.webmd.com/balance/tc/dealing-with-negative-thoughts-topic-overview?page=2
  12. ↑ http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/sdd/why
  13. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/depression-and-exercise/art-20046495
  14. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/in-depth/how-to-eat-healthy/art-20046590
  15. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/adult-sleep-needs-and-habits
  16. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950?pg=2
  17. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/tc/building-self-esteem-topic-overview
  18. ↑ 18.0 18.1 http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/self-esteem/art-20045374
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