Deal With People Who Ignore You

Being ignored is sadly just a part of life. Everyone typically goes through it at some point. It's easy to feel hurt when someone ignores you, but there is usually a bigger picture you aren't seeing. We all go through a range of feelings based on our different circumstances. They are humans just like you, and you should treat them as such.

Steps

Resolving the Situation

1. Reflect on your recent actions. This can be a challenge. People often times don't want to admit they did something wrong, or even notice that they've done something to offend someone.
   • Plan for an apology if you realize you've done something wrong. Even if this person should have given you some type of courtesy, it is always better to take the upper road.
   • Practice different meditating techniques if it is hard for you to reflect.
2. Get her to talk. Invite her into a conversation. If she is trying to ignore you and you invite her into a public conversation, she might feel obliged to participate. Not many people want to be revealed in public as ignoring someone.
3. Be nice. If she sees you making an effort, she may speak to you again. Acting rudely towards her will only create a larger, convoluted feud.
4. Pick a time to talk. Plan on a time where you know that both of you are free. If you pick an inopportune time, she could get more frustrated.
5. Ask her why she's ignoring you. Sometimes people don't even realize they are ignoring someone. Life can get overwhelming. Being upfront and direct to this person should give you some information. Don't be overly rude when confronting her.
6. Explain your feelings. This could be hard for some of you, but to open yourself up to this person could solve everything. Exposing your feelings is a vulnerable process and could potentially hurt you. Reveal yourself, but don't tell her everything.
7. Don't push the topic. Some people just need time away from you. It can be helpful to avoid an argument, and instead have a relaxed conversation.
8. Don't be loud and scream. Creating a tense confrontation will only lead to a longer period of turmoil with her.
9. Use a third party. Try to convey your message through somebody else. Sometimes you just can't get through to the person ignoring you. In some situations, it helps to have an outside party help resolve the issue. Choose a person who is friends with both of you, but stays neutral. You could also use a friendly acquaintance to help settle things if they are willing.

Knowing When to Let Go

1. Don't take it personally. Most people come across someone who ignores them. Take the power out of their rudeness, by not showing that it's affecting you. Make it their problem, not yours.
2. Focus on the road, not the wall. It's not always the easiest thing to do, but if you spend time working on your personal goals, this person's opinions and actions towards you won't matter. Think of him as a metaphorical wall that isn't necessarily in your way, but it's there.
3. Ignore him back. If he doesn't want to associate with you for any number of reasons, then don't associate with him. By ignoring him, he might take notice of your actions. This is also a good way of keeping your cool. Even if it is tearing you up inside, this can be an effective solution over time.
4. Give him space. Some people simply need space from their friends. It might not seem justified, but a lot of people will ignore you if they feel like it. It can be the most painful and frustrating seat to be in, but just give it time.
5. Don't force change. You can't always change someone's mood to being polite if they want to be rude. Sometimes it's the best option to let him figure out what he needs to figure out on his own.

Building Your Self-Confidence

1. Make a set of lists. Try spend time developing three lists: your strengths, your achievements, and something you admire about yourself. You might want to get a trusted family member to help you with this. Keep this list in a safe place, and read it when you're feeling down.
2. Maintain your personal hygiene. Make sure you are taking care of yourself. Pay particular attention to your hair style, your nail length, and your teeth.
3. Clean your living space. You'll be surprised how much of your mental health can strengthen from a clean living situation. Focus on your room itself. You could even ask someone to help you rearrange the furniture in your room.
4. Start a hobby. Get involved with an activity like: painting, music, poetry, or dance. Engaging yourself with artistic activities will improve your self expression and strengthen your sense of mastery. This will translate to more positive interactions with others.
5. Make a contribution. Participating in a volunteer organization within your community can be a very positive experience. Making a difference builds your positive opinion of yourself.
6. Recognize your creations. A lot of insecurities about other people arise from our self-esteem. Try to separate your feelings from the reality of the situation. This won't be easy because we're typically emotional beings, but try to see the circumstance from an unbiased opinion. You could try different writing exercises to help your ideas flow.
7. Seek professional help. If you are having a hard time being ignored there are people who can help. Therapists or school guidance councilors advise people in your position all the time. You may want to try a school guidance councilor first because they won't cost you anything.

Building Stronger Friendships

1. Hold on to the friends you have. The friends you had before you started being ignored are probably still your friends. If things feel awkward because you've been more involved with other friends, then just be honest with them.
   • Do an activity that you both use to enjoy.
2. Reveal yourself. Share your fears, flaws, and insecurities. Being vulnerable is a difficult feeling to experience with someone, but it can create a close bond between people. You could even go back and forth telling each other difficult things from your pasts.
3. Keep multiple lines of communication open. The more avenues you have for communication the better. It's can be difficult in today's world to stay on top of all the ways we communicate. Keep a regular scan of your social media sites and your phone for your friends.
4. Make your contact worthwhile. It is definitely okay to call your friend just to call your friend. Try asking for serious advise or simply share something meaningful that happened to you recently.
5. Make yourself available. If your friend is going through something, then you should make time for that person. No one likes a one-sided friendship. If you have plans, then try to work around them or let your prior obligations know that something important has come up.

Tips

• Don't get frustrated and make a scene. Scenes are not good, in any case, since it makes you look as though you have issues, though you are frustrated.
• Sometimes it may not be your fault at all. They might just want to be left alone in their lives. Or they might not like you very much in the first place and may in fact be happy that you are out of their lives. Don't try to push yourself or you'll find yourself harming yourself or the people around you. Take the hint and don't bother to amend ties with them again. There are 7 billion other people in the world just waiting for you!
• People ignore for so many reasons, but the point is that you need to move on and make new friends.

Related Articles

• Ignore Someone
• Ignore Insults
• Solve Relationship Problems

Sources and Citations

See also

• Deal With Overly Competitive People
• Identify a Toxic Employee
• Overcome Discrimination
• Make People Jealous
• Deal With Backstabbers
• Deal With Someone Who Really Annoys You
• Deal With Dumb People
• Avoid People You Don't Like in a Respectful Way
• Get Rid of People That Hate You
• Deal With a Sociopath

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