Deal With Your Family on Facebook

You may love using Facebook to connect with your friends, but that doesn't mean that you want your family to know everything that's going on in your life. Do you have an annoying sibling that loves to complain about you? Nosy parents? An over-protective uncle or aunt?Keep reading to learn how to deal with them on Facebook

Steps

Creating Family Space

  1. Create a separate group for family. Do this by opening your chat box, going to "Friend Lists," and creating a family group. For simplicity's sake, call it "Family". You can drag and drop people into this list. This way, you can talk with your family in a private message thread, and you find it easier to keep your family separate from your friends.
    • This can be a great way to bring family together. If you have a family-specific group, you might be more inclined to post about family matters there. You can cut through the social saturation of Facebook and share focused, curated information with your relatives.
    • When family members request to be your friends on Facebook, make sure that you put them in the "Family" group. This way, you'll be able to keep them separate from everyone else. If you don't do this right away, you might forget!
  2. Don't post raunchy things to Facebook. Understand that ultimately, the easiest way to deal with your family on Facebook is to keep your social interactions off of the site. Text your friends, or use an instant messaging app, or just hang out in person, if possible. If you are posting things that you absolutely don't want your family to see, consider who else can see them: friends, peers, and maybe (someday) potential employers. Facebook owns these posts, and they will be stored on the site for years to come – so ask yourself which sort of personal information you want to make public on the Internet.
  3. Consider keeping two separate Facebook accounts. You can have a "family-friendly" account for tame posts that you don't mind your relatives picking through, and then create a "real" account where you post all of the things that you don't want your family to see. If you are very committed to your online life, this can be a solid way to keep everything separate.
    • Be aware of the privacy settings on the second, "real" account. If even one family member comes across the new account, he or she may send it a friend request – and your "cover" will be blown. Consider using the privacy settings to make your new account unsearchable.
    • If you are unable to have two accounts or don't want two accounts, then you will not be able to post everything you want publicly if you don't want your family to see it. You will have to post to specific groups or to "friends only, except for <insert names here>", until you are ready to share something with your family. Make sure to pay close attention to the sharing options before you post.
  4. Unfollow a family member. If you have a friend or family member who posts things that you don't like or don't want to see, you can "unfollow" them so that their posts no longer show up on your Newsfeed. This way, you don't need to unfriend or block a family member, but you also don't need to deal with them as much. Once you "unfollow", you will no longer see anything that they post in your Newsfeed. You can go to their page if you want to see their activity.
    • Bear in mind that the unfollowed family member will still be able to see whatever you post, and they can still "like" and comment on your posts.
  5. Speak to your family member about the problem. If a family member is making you uncomfortable with the things that they're posting on your profile, the most straightforward solution is to confront him/her. This may or may not be appropriate, depending on the situation – but it will at least put your frustrations out in the open.[1]
    • If the relative is just oblivious about Facebook etiquette, try to kindly educate him/her about what to do.
    • If you're just embarrassed that your family posts on your Facebook, period, then there's not much you can do beyond blocking them from your posts with the privacy settings.

Using Privacy Settings

  1. Customize your privacy settings. First, navigate to your privacy settings. Reach the Settings menu from the drop-down menu in the top right-hand corner of the screen, just above the "Log Out" action. Once you're on the Settings page, click "Privacy" on the menu that runs down the left side of the screen; this will take you to the Privacy Settings and Tools page.[2] You should see three categories, each of which includes several filters:
    • Who can see my stuff? This section allows you to customize who sees your posts, photos, and tags. You can block individual family members from seeing specific types of posts. For instance, you can make it so that your parents can't see the photos you're tagged in.[3]
    • Who can contact me? This is a way to regulate you can send you friend requests and private messages. Your family members may notice if you outright block them from your profile, so this may not be the best option for such a delicate situation.
    • Who can look me up? This is the highest level of security: you can control who is able to find your profile using your email address and phone number, and you can unlist your Timeline from regular search engine traffic. This option probably isn't terribly useful if your family is already on Facebook.
  2. Block family members from seeing your posts. Click "Edit" next to "Who can see your future posts?" Select the drop-down menu that reads either "Friends" or "Public", and click "More Options" to open a further menu. Click "Custom" to choose to share or not share your posts with specific people or groups. Type your family members' names under "Don't share with" to block them from seeing your posts.
    • If you've made a separate family group, you can type in the group name in place of individual family member names. This way, you can add new family members to the group as they add you on Facebook.
  3. Block family members from specific posts, as you post them. Use the privacy slider in the status box right when you make a new post. The drop-down menu is exactly the same as the one you found on the Custom Privacy screen. This way, you can choose to share or not share each new post with specific groups of people. You might block a very confrontational cousin from seeing a political status update, or you might prevent your parents from seeing photos of last weekend's big party.
  4. Review your Activity Log to block family from specific posts. Back in the "Who can see my stuff?" box, click "Use Activity Log". You'll see a list of everything you've ever done on Facebook: likes, comments, tagged photos, etc. Scroll through the log looking for things that you don't want your family to see. Click the drop-down menu from the globe icon, click Custom, and type your family members' names in the box beneath "Don't share this with". They won't be able to see this post.
    • If the post is older than a few hours, consider that your family member may have already seen it. Be aware of your family's Facebook habits, and try to decide what you need to do for damage control.
    • Be aware of anyone who might tell your family. Consider blocking anyone who you don't trust to keep your activities to themselves. For instance, if your friend's parents are close with your own parents, you might consider blocking the friend's parents on Facebook to reduce the risk of them passing anything along.
  5. Ask one of your existing friends to test the privacy for you. Add them to the "Family" group and then ask them to poke through your profile. To them, it should appear to be a very boring profile, because they can't see any pictures, status updates, etc. That's what your family will see.[4]

Customizing Timeline Settings

  1. Block your family from tagging you and posting on your timeline. From the Settings page, select “Timeline and Tagging” from the left sidebar. You can use this page to control who posts on your wall and who sees what on your wall.[5] You'll see three main categories:
    • Who can add things to my timeline? Use this category to control who can post on your timeline. You can block all friends from posting to your timeline, but you can't block specific groups (say, Family). You can also set up a review system whereby you review things that your friends tag you in before they wind up on your timeline.
    • Who can see things on my timeline? Use this to review what other people see on your timeline; you can specially regulate who can see the posts that you're tagged in, and you can control who sees what others post on your timeline. Once you've tweaked the settings, click "View As" to see your timeline as someone else sees it: say, your friend, or your grandmother.
    • How can I manage tags people add and tagging suggestions? You can choose to review the tags that people add to your own posts (say, in comments) before those tags appear on Facebook public.
  2. Block friends from posting on your timeline. Under "Who can add things to my timeline?", click "Edit" next to "Who can post on your timeline?" Select "Only Me" from the drop-down menu, instead of "Friends". This way, no one will post anything—good or bad—to your wall.
    • Alternately, select "Review posts friends tag you in before they appear on your timeline?" Then, choose "Enable" from the drop-down menu. This way, you'll be able to carefully curate what shows up on your timeline.
  3. Determine who can see things on your timeline. Click "Edit" next to "Who can see posts that you've been tagged in on your timeline?" Then, select "Custom" from the drop-down menu. Type your family members' names in the box beneath "Don't share with" to block them from seeing posts on your wall. Next, do the same with "Who can see what others post on your timeline?"
  4. Review tags that people try to add to your posts. In the "How can I manage tags people add and tagging suggestions?" box, select "Edit" next to "Review tags that people add to your own posts before the tags appear on Facebook". Then, select "Enabled" from the drop-down menu. Now, you should be able to stop friends from making offensive tags on your Facebook posts.

Sources and Citations

Related Articles