Deal With Your Significant Other's PMS

Premenstrual syndrome, or PMS, can be a challenging time in a relationship. Some women may experience symptoms of PMS from the middle of their menstrual cycle until they menstruate at the end of the month and some women can have intense PMS symptoms closer to when they are menstruating. When you are trying to deal with your significant other’s PMS, you should focus on supporting her physically, mentally, and emotionally so you can be a good partner to her and maintain a healthy relationship with her.

Steps

Supporting Your Partner Physically

1. Take over her house chores and responsibilities. Many women who are experiencing PMS will have physical symptoms like abdominal cramps, nausea, fatigue, and constipation. You can help your partner deal with these symptoms by taking over some of her chores and responsibilities at home. Her PMS can make it more difficult to do yard work, lift heavy objects, or clean the house every day. You can support her by taking over these chores and giving her time to rest as she deals with her PMS.
   • You may discuss taking over some of your partner’s house chores to give her a few hours of downtime during the days before her period. Discussing this and agreeing to an arrangement where you take over some of the chores and responsibilities at home can show her you are trying to support her and consider her condition when she is PMSing.
2. Offer to cook her meals. If your partner is usually the one cooking meals and preparing meals for you and/or your family, pitch in and offer to take over the food duties while she is PMSing. She will likely appreciate the opportunity to not have to cook for the household while she is PMSing.
   • You may create a meal plan and get enough groceries to feed the family while your partner waits for her period. This will give her a break and allow her to relax while she deals with her PMS.
3. Prepare foods and beverages that help with cramps. To help your partner deal with her PMS cramps, you can prepare foods that have been shown to ease cramps and abdominal pain. Salmon, celery, and fresh herbs like dill and parsley can all help to reduce inflammation. Dark chocolate (at least 70 percent cocoa) can help your partner relax and de-stress.
   • You should avoid preparing foods that contain dairy, as they can irritate your partner's stomach and cause cramping. Stick to foods low in processed sugar, as sugary foods can trigger cramps.
   • Make sure your partner is drinking lots of water and prepare herbal teas to help relieve her cramping. Green tea and rosehip tea have both been shown to help ease abdominal pain. Avoid preparing coffee or food high in caffeine for your partner, as they can lead to higher levels of stress and anxiety. Your partner should also avoid alcohol when she is PMSing, as it can lead to stomach upset and cramps.
4. Pamper her. PMS can be an uncomfortable experience for women, as their bodies are often sore, bloated, and overrun with hormones. You can make her PMS less uncomfortable by pampering her with a bath or a massage. Give her some attention and make her feel beautiful and relaxed with some TLC.
   • You could plan a date night where you make dinner at home and give her a foot massage while she watches her favorite show. Or, you could give her some alone time to read alone or take a bath.
   • You may also want to cut down on social events or avoid planning lots of socializing while your partner is PMSing, as she may not feel like going out. Consider her needs and check with her before you make joint plans with another couple or with friends, as you do not want to pressure her into going out if she is not in the mood.
5. Be attuned to her sexual needs. Though every woman’s body is different, many women can actually have a higher libido during PMS due to the rise in hormones in their bodies. Women can often also experience more intense sex when they are PMSing. As a good partner, you should be willing to respond to her sexual needs and be attuned to her libido during PMS.
   • You may want to have a conversation with your partner about her sexual needs during PMS. Maybe your partner is not at all interested in sex and would prefer being physically supported in other ways, or perhaps your partner has a higher libido during PMS and would like some more attention in the bedroom. Having this talk with your partner will show her you support her and are willing to respond to her needs as she deals with PMS.

Offering Mental and Emotional Support

1. Keep track of her cycle together. You and your partner should work together to be aware of when her PMS is occurring as this will allow you to address her PMS together. Though many women have PMS symptoms around the middle of their menstrual cycle, this can vary from woman to woman. Mark down her cycle on a calendar that you both have access to so you have a visual reference of her cycle. You can then use the calendar to note when she may be experiencing PMS.
   • You can then try to accommodate her needs around the time of the month when you know she is PMSing. You may avoid planning family events or social get togethers, and try to include more her time. You may also agree to give her time on her own during the days she is PMSing, if that is what she needs.
2. Do not make PMS jokes or comments. Perhaps one of the most helpful things you can do for her, and for you, is not making light of her PMS. This means avoiding jokes about “that time of the month” or comments about “how difficult she is when she’s bleeding.” These comments are disrespectful to your partner and will only irritate her further.
   • Keep in mind that though you may never know how it feels to have PMS, this does not mean you cannot cannot educate yourself. Rather than make comments or jokes about your partner’s PMS, get educated and be proactive about supporting her. She will appreciate your consideration and you will have an easier time dealing with her PMS.
3. Be an active listener. Focus on responding to her needs by being an active listener for her. This means giving her your full attention when she speaks to you, maintaining eye contact with her. Display open body language, positioning your body towards her. Nod when she speaks and avoid interrupting her.
   • You should also focus on having proactive conversations with her, where you let her speak and express herself without interruption. You can then respond by acknowledging her feelings and offering to help her in any way. Avoid putting judgement on her feelings or offering your own take on her emotions. This may just end up irritating her further.
4. Avoid conflict and embrace compromise. Some women can experience fatigue, irritability, and mood swings before their period. Women can also experience feelings of anger and high emotion when they are PMSing. You should be considerate of this and avoid getting into conflicts or arguments with your partner when she is PMSing.
   • Instead, focus on how you can reach a compromise when you have disagreements with your partner and try to stay calm and relaxed during an argument. Avoid fighting with her over little things or things that you can solve on your own. Unless you are both dealing with a major issue, it may be best to avoid fights or arguments and come to a compromise together.

Understanding PMS

1. Be aware of the more common PMS symptoms. Though women usually experience their most intense symptoms during PMS, they can also experience physical and emotional symptoms throughout their menstrual cycle. You should educate yourself on the more common PMS symptoms so you know what to watch out for and can better respond to your partner’s needs.
   • Your partner may experience physical symptoms before she starts to PMS, such as bloating, acne, breast tenderness, abdominal pain, and low energy. She may have emotional symptoms like anxiety, depression, or general irritability.
   • During PMS, she may have physical symptoms like cramps, nausea, diarrhea, constipation, or fatigue. She may have emotional symptoms like mood swings, low energy, and irritability.
2. Discuss your partner’s particular PMS symptoms with her. Every woman’s body is unique, so your partner may have very specific PMS symptoms based on her body. You should ask your partner about her symptoms and discuss them with her so you are aware of her experience. Getting the details on your partner’s PMS can also help you support her in the ways she needs.
3. Keep an eye on the severity of her symptoms. Sometimes. PMS symptoms can become intense and severe. Some women can also experience anger during PMS, which could negatively affect those around them. If you feel your partner’s symptoms are out of control and negatively affecting yourself or others around her, you may want to suggest she seek out professional help.
   • A therapist may help her cope better with any emotional or mental symptoms she may be experiencing. A doctor may be able to prescribe medication or treatments for her physical PMS symptoms.

Related Articles

• Get Through PMS
• Deal With His Random Mood Swings
• Get out of a Bad Mood Fast
• Stay in a Good Mood

Sources and Citations

See also

• Determine Why Your Period Is Late
• Manage Your Period
• Delay Your Period
• Enjoy Periods
• Tell a Friend You Have Started Your Period
• Have Sex During Your Period
• Stop Your Period Early
• Cope With Periods
• Get Rid of Menstrual Cramps
• Deal With Your Period

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