Deal With a Manipulative Person
A manipulating person will get you to do almost anything they want, including giving them money, steal, hurt others - the list goes on. A manipulating person can take a real toll on your life. To learn how to deal with this problem person, read on.
Contents
Steps
- Protect yourself and anyone else involved as best as you can from the influence of the manipulator. You can't do anything about the person, or the people who fall for their games, but you can protect yourself and others.
- Distance yourself from the person. While you want to let them down relatively gently, continue to protect yourself by beginning to put some distance between you and the manipulator.
- Try to keep the peace. If the manipulator notices your increased distance, try to talk to them about their manipulative qualities. Remain calm, cool, and collected throughout the conversation whether or not they do. Drama will only make things harder on you. If they like drama, let them wallow in it by themselves.
- Be aware that you may need to actively disconnect from this person. This doesn't mean simply putting distance between the two of you, but stopping contact completely. While it will be difficult, in the end it will be healthier for you and the manipulator.
- Be equally aware that everything might be alright eventually. People can and do often grow with time. Be ready for harmony if and when it comes.
Tips
- Sometimes saying "Goodbye" or "I don't have the time" are the only things you can say to the person. Be firm about it.
- Stay calm. Working yourself into a rage and screaming really doesn't help much.
- If you are being manipulated on the job. Going right over their head is the only thing you can do. Don't be scared, let the company fire you. Depending on the employment of the individual, companies have been charged for firing the victims.
Warnings
- Become really really allergic to drama. Don't be a pushover, but don't let yourself be provoked into behaving badly or irrationally. Manipulators use these things to make themselves look better.
- Don't become a manipulator yourself. Just because that it pays off for some people, doesn't mean it will work well for you. You have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and sleep well at night, and you won't be able to do either of these if you behave in a way that is contrary to your own beliefs. If you feel that manipulation is wrong when someone else does it, you will feel wrong doing that sort of thing yourself.
