Deal With the Need to 'Pass Gas' in Public
Everyone hates that feeling when you're in a room of peers, and all of a sudden, you feel the urge to "break wind." This procedure will help you cope with it.
Contents
Steps
- Make up an excuse to get up. Set an alarm on your phone and put it as a ringtone and walk away from your peers because you have an "important" phone call.
- Some phones have a fake call feature that you can program to call yourself.
- Let go of "little puffs" along the way. Release your gas easily and relax your buttocks cautiously and avoid hard tight burst that can break wind.
- Remembering not to tighten the airway while still maintaining your posture "careful there! You don't want to loosen to much cause you will make an amplified trumpeting loud sound obviously giving you away."
- Drag your feet while walking. This can create silly and odd noises that could blend or resonate with your bodily sounds.
- Sit back down and try dragging the chair and bump or stumble on the table or other objects .
- Under your desk, move your feet from left to right to "push the smell" and circulate more air (Repeat this motion countless times).
- Try to hold it in: If you feel gas coming on, squeeze your butt cheeks together. Loosen your belt and clothing to give you more room for your guts to expand.
- Go to the restroom. If there are people in there, sit on the toilet and flush to make it seem like its the toilet and not you breaking wind. Spread your butt cheeks apart, and then just pass it, and no one should hear you!
Tips
- Just say you need to use the restroom.
- Repeatedly coughing can help you mask up the noise if ambient noise is not enough, the drawback is that the force applied to your chest to make the loud cough can make the "little-puffs" become a "very-loud-heavy-puff". Practice first to master the technique.
- Burping sometimes does help relieve some of the pressure.
- In an informal setting this scenario is a possibility: if you're in the company of guys and are secure with yourself - you just let it out; after the initial joking and laughter, you may earn undying respect.
- If it is one small puff, hold it in until it feels like you don't have to any more; that means it leaked out quietly on its own.
- If you are at school, try to hold it until you in the hallway. Usually there is enough noise at this time for it to go unnoticed.
- Remember that no-one knows what you're feeling and it's your self-consciousness that makes it worse. Relax and loosen your muscles you can learn to control the urge. Don't hold your breath! Breathing deeply can help with anxiety and self control.
- mind over body! "You can do anything and cope with anything for sometime "
Warnings
- Holding in too much gas may become painful. Try to relieve yourself as soon as possible.
- While lighting the gas on fire with a match or lighter prevents the odor, you may be seriously burned.
- Do not intentionally pass gas if you have some other alternative. Sometimes the tip (above) for undying respect may not work as planned.
- Don't make it obvious that you are retaining gas. Awkward faces are often made during this procedure, so practice at home in front of a mirror before doing it in public.
- Don't talk about the smell after you pass gas.
- Try your best to keep the "puffs" quiet, and have no outbursts.
- Make sure no one notices you with step four. Don't overdo it.
- If you can't direct attention very well, you can always try to receive permission to go to the bathroom. That's always safer.
