Decide if You Should Hold Your Child Back from Kindergarten

Are you wondering if starting kindergarten is the right choice for your child? It can be a difficult decision to know what is best when starting school. One of the best things you can do is assess your child’s skills, abilities, and emotional readiness. Have your child complete a readiness screening and get some outside perspectives. Finally, use your best judgment in making the decision.

Steps

Assessing Their Readiness

1. Notice how they follow directions. Kindergarten children need to be able to follow 2-3 directions at a time. For example, their teacher may say, “Take some buttons and glue them onto the paper.” Give your child some 2-step directions and see how they do. They should be able to complete the task with little or no difficulty.
   • A child may not be ready if they need multiple reminders, need prompts, or go to you between each step.
2. Test their ability to sit still. A child should be able to sit still for ten minutes at a time. They should be able to remain seated for stories and for group activities. Staying seated means not needing to get up or be distracted by other things going on.
   • Take your child to storytime at the library and notice if they are able to make it through the time without too much wiggling.
3. Assess their motor skills. Children in kindergarten will be expected to have certain skills. In terms of activity, your child should be able to run, jump, and throw a ball. Classroom activities may require your child to hold a crayon or cut with scissors. Your child may need to be able to put on and take off their own jacket, clasp buttons, and unpack their school bag.
   • Observe your child performing these tasks and notice if they struggle or have any difficulty with them.
   • Kids who struggle with motor tasks may benefit from occupational therapy.
4. Observe cooperative play. Your child should have an awareness of other children and how to get along with them. For example, children in kindergarten should be able to play with another child, share, and take turns. If conflict arises, they should know not to hit or hurt the other child. They should have some age-appropriate friendship skills.
   • Notice how your child plays and interacts with others their age. Take them to a playground or play group and observe their skills.
5. Assess their emotional readiness. Children should have some emotional skills prior to starting kindergarten. For example, they should be able to handle not getting their way without throwing a tantrum. They should be able to get through the school day without meltdowns and tantrums. If your child is clingy, they might need some practice being away from you for a few hours at a time.
   • Your child should be able to regulate their behavior without disrupting the class. Even if they have strong emotions, they will have some coping skills and learn to move through them without disrupting the class.
6. Make sure they are fully toilet trained. Children in kindergarten should not have accidents or problems using the toilet. Your child should be able to self-monitor their bathroom needs and take care of them appropriately without help. They should be able to flush the toilet, wipe, and wash their hands on their own.
   • By kindergarten, children should not have accidents or need extra clothes for toileting problems.

Making an Informed Decision

1. Check the cutoff date. Depending on where you live, the kindergarten cutoff date can vary quite a bit. Call the school district or search for your state or territory’s age requirement.
   • For example, if your family just moved, double check the age requirement if you’ve moved to a new state because it might differ significantly.
2. Look up the school’s expectations. Find out whether kindergarten is full-day or half-day. Look into any requirements children must fulfill before attending kindergarten. Then, look at what skills they will learn through the year. Some kindergartens are immediately academic while others take a softer approach to learning and play.
   • Call the school district or ask to speak with a kindergarten teacher in order to get a better grasp of how things are run and what you and your child might expect.
3. Screen your child. Many schools offer or require a kindergarten readiness test. These assessments are for children ages 4-6 and are given the year before kindergarten or the first few weeks of class. They measure academic, social, and developmental readiness. These tests aren’t standardized and don’t require the child to write. Instead, they focus on asking the child questions and observing them in tasks.
   • If your school district does not offer kindergarten screenings, request one or seek a screening from an outside source or educational center.
4. Get an outside opinion. Talk to your child’s nanny, babysitter, daycare provider, or preschool teacher about where they stand. Ask how your child compares to other children their age and if they have comparable skills. Consider any remarks that your child may be too socially or academically immature for kindergarten.
   • For example, if you get reports that your child struggles to share or that they throw frequent tantrums, it might be a consideration toward their kindergarten enrollment.

Choosing to Enroll

1. Follow your instinct. Ultimately, the decision lies with you and what you think is best for your child. If you think your child is ready, go for it! If you have some doubts, consider those. Make a decision you think will benefit your child both now and in the long run.
   • Consider your child’s skills, the information you have, and your own feelings.
2. Reinforce learning at home. Before kindergarten starts, call the teacher and ask what skills you should work on with your child. Once kindergarten starts, keep in touch with the teacher and continue to ask what skills need to be developed. If your child is struggling with something, reinforce it at home.
   • For example, if your child has trouble following multi-step directions, get in the habit of giving directions at home.
3. Communicate with the teacher. If you decide to put your child into kindergarten, talk to their teacher before class begins and throughout the year. Let them know of your concerns and that you’d like to be kept up-to-date on how your child is doing. They might contact you within the first few weeks of school and let you know your child’s progress and trajectory.
   • For example, say, “I considered holding my child back this year due to their social skills and motor skills. Please let me know how they are doing and whether they should continue with the school year.”
4. Be open to repeating a grade. If you’re on the fence, enroll your child in kindergarten. Keep an open mind, especially at the beginning of the year. If your child is struggling or could use some one-on-one help, pull them out or have them repeat kindergarten.
   • If your child begins class and is pulled out, work on specific skills to help them succeed the next year.

Sources and Citations

See also

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• Set up a Kindergarten Classroom
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