Escape from a Bad Date

Dating can be a lot of fun, especially if you hit it off with your date. Unfortunately, there are a lot of ways that a date can go sour. If you find yourself on a really awkward date, or if you start to feel creeped out or unsafe, it’s good to have an exit plan. Have a strategy for getting out on your own, but don’t be afraid to get help from a friend or a member of the staff at the date venue. There are also some precautions you can take ahead of time, in case things to wrong.

Steps

Getting out on Your Own

1. Be direct. Sometimes, the best way to get out of an uncomfortable situation is to be honest and to the point about it. Keep it simple: tell your date that you feel like it isn’t working out, settle your bill, and leave.
   • If you want to soften the blow a little, try saying something like, “You seem like a really nice person, but I just don’t feel like we’re a good match.”
   • If you’re feeling unsafe, or if your date’s behavior is really inappropriate, don’t feel that you owe them any explanation. Just tell them you’re leaving and make your exit.
2. Make an excuse. If you’re not feeling it, but you really don’t want to hurt your date’s feelings, try an excuse that will allow you to make a graceful exit. Consider one of these techniques:
   • Pretend to be sick. Tell your date you’re feeling sick to your stomach, or that you’re having an allergic reaction to something in the food.
   • If you want to stick it out a little longer to be polite, tell them you can only stay for a short amount of time. For example, say something like: “Hey, I’m really sorry, but I just remembered I have to go pick up my friend at 7:30, so I can only stay for half an hour.”
3. Use a “rescue app.” Try installing an app, like “Bad Date Rescue,” on your phone. These apps can send you a convincing fake call or text that will give you an excuse to leave in a hurry.
   • For example, the app may send you a call that is supposedly from a relative or neighbor claiming to be dealing with some kind of emergency. Just pick up the call and respond as if it were real (“Oh, no! Okay, Mom, I’ll be right there.”).
4. Make a quick exit if you feel unsafe. If your date is aggressive or making you feel unsafe, you may need to leave in a hurry. To avoid creating a confrontation, excuse yourself to the bathroom and then quickly leave the venue.
   • If you are feeling extremely threatened and don’t think you can simply leave the venue without incident, go to the restroom and call the police.

Getting Help

1. Arrange for a friend to make a check-in call. Tell a friend ahead of time that you are planning to go on a date. Ask them to call you at a pre-arranged time (e.g., 30 minutes into the date) to check in. If the date is going badly, you can pretend that your friend is having an emergency and needs your help right away.
   • For example, when your friend calls, you can say something like, “Oh no, really? I’m on my way!” Tell your date, “I’m so sorry, my friend’s car broke down, and she needs me to come pick her up.”
2. Have a friend crash your date. Arrange to have a friend show up if things get uncomfortable. Send them a quick text, or step into the bathroom to make a call.
   • When your friend shows up, act surprised and invite them to join you. E.g., “Oh, wow, I haven’t seen you in forever! Hey, why don’t you sit with us for a bit? You’ve got to try this cocktail!”
3. Get help from the staff at the date venue. Some restaurants and bars offer a “mayday service” for customers stuck on bad dates or feeling unsafe. Call ahead and find out if the place you’re going offers such a service. This can take the form of a code word (e.g., going up to the bar and ordering an “angel shot” or asking to “speak to Angela”).
   • Even if the venue you have chosen does not offer a “mayday service,” you may be able to simply go up to the bar or pull a server aside and quietly ask for assistance.
   • A staff member may be able to call a cab for you. Or, if your date is behaving really inappropriately or making you feel unsafe, you can ask to have them escorted out or have a staff member call the police for you.

Being Prepared

1. Let someone know you’ll be on a date. Make sure a trusted friend or family member knows where you will be, and when. That way, if things go wrong and you need someone to pick you up or give you a way out, someone will already have your back.
2. Agree to meet in a public place. It’s always easier to escape – or get help, if you need it – if you’re in a public venue rather than, say, your own home, or a secluded spot somewhere. Arrange to meet your date at a place like a restaurant or a bar.
3. Have a plan for getting home safely. If things are going poorly and you need to make an escape, you don’t want to have to rely on your date to drive you home. If you don’t own a car or can’t drive yourself, be prepared to call a cab, use a ride service (like Uber or Lyft), or call a friend to come pick you up.
4. Carry cash with you. If you need to leave in a hurry and don’t want to worry about settling the bill, it’s a good idea to have some cash you can put down for your part of the tab. Cash is also useful to have on hand in case you need to pay for cab fare.

Tips

• Don’t feel like you have to stick it out if you’re feeling really uncomfortable. Once you’ve made your decision to leave, stay firm. You do not owe it to your date to stay, or even to explain your reasons for leaving.
• If you feel unsafe, do not hesitate to call the police (or ask someone to make the call for you).

Sources and Citations

See also

• Escape from a Drunken Date
• Let Everyone Know You Are Not Dating a Certain Guy
• Attract a Millionaire
• Tell if You Genuinely Like Someone
• Turn Friendship Into Love
• Attract Girls Without Being Annoying
• Attract a Guy
• Marry a Millionaire
• Turn a Girl On
• Keep a Phone Conversation Going with Your Girlfriend

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