Fake Pink Eye

So you wanna learn how to fake pink eye, eh? Is it because you’ve woken up on a Friday morning feeling like Ferris Bueller and you need a day off? Or are you looking for an inventive way to offend and upset your teenage sister? Whatever the case, you wanna create the illusion that your eye is icky and infected. To achieve this, all you need to do is mimic the pink eye symptoms of redness, tears, and ooey gooey discharge! Here are some quick and easy ways to do so.

Steps

Making Your Eyes Red

1. Dry your eyes out. When eyes aren’t getting enough moisture, they can get irritated and red. By simply trying to blink as little as possible for about 30 minutes, your eyes will start to become irritated because they aren’t being properly lubricated. You can expedite the process by sitting in front of a fan and trying not to blink, so they’ll dry out faster. But remember! We blink for a reason: to protect our eyes. So if the discomfort becomes too great, begin blinking normally again and perhaps even use some eye drops to rehydrate your eyes.
2. Rub the area around your eyes. Doctors tell us that directly rubbing our eyes isn’t good for them because harmful bacteria may find its way in and cause irritation. You could also damage your cornea, which is the clear protective layer covering the iris. Rubbing your eyes does make them red and a little bloodshot, though — which is the look you're going for. To keep your eyes safe while attempting to make them red, rub the area around your eyes and indirectly stimulate them.
   • Don't rub directly over the eyeballs and eyelids. This will keep you from damaging your cornea or getting bacteria into your eyes, and will create a mild irritation that will cause sufficient redness.
3. Swim in the pool. Ever go for a swim at the pool and find that your eyes are all red-rimmed and bloodshot? This is a common occurrence caused by irritants in the water. When the cornea comes in contact with water, the protective tear film on our eyes can be washed away, leaving our eyes more vulnerable to irritants.
   • Chlorine can irritate eyes; it's the chemical in pools that’s used to kill bacteria and germs that people bring into the water. What kind of bacteria, you ask? The kind that comes from things like body oil, dirt and even pee (1 out of every 5 adults admit to peeing in pools). Chlorine can kill most bacteria, but not all of it; so once the protective tear film is washed away, bacteria can get into eyes and cause irritation.
   • Even though going for a swim can help you fake pink eye — if you’re not careful, you’ll actually get it. Pink eye is caused by harmful bacteria, and it’s a common infection that people get from swimming in pools. Figure out whether or not you want to risk real pink eye for fake pink eye.

Making Yourself Tear Up

1. Chop some onions. They're notorious for making people tear up when they’re sliced — which means they’re a quick and easy way for you to start producing tears for the weepy look of the bedeviled pink eye.
   • Onions produce a sulfur compound called syn-propanethial-S-oxide. When an onion is cut open, the compound is released into the air. When the chemical reaches your eyes, the lachrymal glands above the eyelids (responsible for the regulation of tears) produce tears to help wash away the irritating chemical.
   • Sweet onions produce less syn-propanethial-S-oxide than other onion varieties because the sugar and high water content can abate the irritating enzymes. So if you’re really looking to get the tears going, chop the pungent red or white onions instead of the sweet yellow Vidalias.
2. Use eye drops. If you aren't trying to get too creative with your tear production techniques, then get some eye drops from the drugstore or supermarket. Usually, directions on eye drop containers suggest only one or two spurts into the eye. To create the illusion of more tears, put a few extra drops than you normally would into your eyes and let them run down your face. Don’t wipe the drops off your cheeks so that everyone will assume your eyes are in a constant state of weeping.
3. Use a menthol stick. Ever wonder how actors manage to cry on the spot? They could just be really good at their jobs... or they could also be using a menthol stick. Menthol sticks are waxy substances that come in lipstick tubes. To use it, you rub the waxy menthol beneath your eyes and then wait for your eyes to water. These are commonly used in theater productions to create realistic crying scenes. If you’re gonna act like you have pink eye, why not really give in to the performance and do as the professionals do?

Faking Eye Discharge

1. Leave overnight sleep crust in your eyes. If you’ve just woken up, chances are, you have some dirt or “crust” in the corners of your eyes. Because pink eye involves a lot of crusty discharge around the eye, leaving the crust in your eyes from the night before adds to the natural look of infection and icky-ness.
2. Spread clear gloss or petroleum jelly underneath your eyes. Pink eye can produce different colors and thicknesses of discharge depending upon how serious the infection is. In most cases, the discharge is thick and clear. By taking some clear lip gloss or petroleum jelly and spreading it about 15mm underneath the eye, you can create the illusion that your eyes are weeping thick liquid.
   • Make sure that the lip gloss you use has no sparkles in it so that people won’t be able to guess that it’s fake.
   • Also, while you have the gloss and petroleum jelly on your face, make sure not to rub your eyes! If these substances come in contact with your eyes, you can experience great discomfort — and the chemicals in those substances are not good for eyeballs.
3. Don't wipe any tears from your eyes. If you've managed to work up a lot of tears in your quest for the perfectly fake pink eye, they should pool around the rims of your eyes. Depending upon how gullible your audience is, you could convince them that the tears are thin, clear discharge.

Tips

• To add to the illusion of pink eye, squint and blink a lot. The infection makes eyes more sensitive to light, so if you’re going to commit to some good acting, you’ll want to indicate that you’re struggling to keep your lids fully open.
• Pink eye often causes blurred or impaired vision, so pretending that you can’t see very well will also convince people that the infection is real.

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