Fake Strep Throat

Being sick is generally considered an acceptable excuse for missing personal and professional engagements. Although you might not be physically ill, you can easily fake an ailment to avoid a variety of situations, including school, work, or social events. Pretending you have strep throat is one useful example, in part because a person can have symptoms of it without actually having the illness.[1] With the right fake symptoms, you’ll be able to convince anyone that you have strep throat.

Steps

Laying the Groundwork

  1. Know the symptoms of strep throat. Before you can fake strep throat, know what the symptoms are. This helps convince others that your illness is genuine.
    • The most typical symptoms of strep throat are throat pain, difficulty swallowing, red or swollen tonsils (if you have them), white patches or tiny red spots at the back of the mouth, and swollen or tender lymph glands in the neck.[1] Less common symptoms are fever, headache, rash, fatigue, and stomachache.[1]
    • It’s possible to have these symptoms and not have strep throat. Only a doctor can actually confirm the diagnosis.[1]
  2. Remember or learn what it feels like to have strep throat. Recalling how you’ve felt when you’ve had strep throat in the past helps you to remember how to act when you’re faking it. If you’ve never had it, learn about what it feels like. Both are useful bits of information when you’re trying to convince others of your illness.
    • If you’ve never had strep throat, you can ask someone else how they have felt when they had it or you can research what it feels like.
    • Generally, it takes a couple of days for strep throat to become a full-blown case. Before you get to this stage where it can be too painful to swallow or talk or you see spots in your throat, you will often have a noticeable “tickle” in your throat. You will also likely have low-grade pain in your throat. Since no one can see or necessarily hear this, you can easily mention that you have these symptoms.
  3. Act distant to friends, family, and colleagues. By acting as if you’re too tired or not feeling well enough to concentrate on conversations or presentations, it will cue others that you may be sick or coming down with an illness.
    • If you want to avoid a commitment the day of the event, acting distant and lethargic will pave the way for you to say that you’re suffering from a sore or strep throat. This will make your illness seem more credible.
  4. Mention that you have the symptoms of strep throat before you actually “get sick.” By acting distant and then telling others that you have felt some symptoms of strep throat, you can more believably fake the illness the same day or even a few days later.
    • The best people to tell that you’re experiencing symptoms are: parents and siblings if you want to miss school; co-workers or your boss if you want to miss work; or friends if you’re trying to get out of a social engagement.
    • Bring up the symptoms subtly. Simply saying “I have these symptoms” could be a dead giveaway that you’re faking. Instead, clear your throat and say “Oh, I’ve noticed a tickle in the back of my throat” either today or in the past couple of days.
  5. Mention an outbreak of strep throat. After you’ve casually mentioned your symptoms, say “I hope I’m not getting the strep throat that is going around.” Making this claim, which no one can really verify, further validates your illness.
    • Strep throat is highly contagious, so it’s entirely possible that there could be an outbreak that infected you.[2]
    • Again, make sure to do this casually so it doesn’t appear you’re faking.
    • You can also reinforce your statement about the outbreak by saying something like “I hope I’m not getting the strep throat that is going around because I’m looking forward to a dinner with friends.”
  6. Fight your fake symptoms before they turn into a full-blown case of strep throat. If you noticeably try to fight the fake symptoms of strep you mentioned, it convinces others of your illness and inability to attend whatever commitment you’re hoping to avoid.
    • Some good examples of ways to “fight” your symptoms are drinking tea with honey or sucking on throat lozenges to “soothe” your irritated throat, or even wrapping a scarf around your neck to keep your throat warm.
    • Gargle with salt water. This is one way to soothe an actual sore throat and will show that you’re trying to take care of your own irritated throat.[3]

Faking Strep Throat

  1. Have controllable symptoms. It’s going to be difficult to fake swelling or spots in your throat, so stick to having symptoms that you can control like pain, fatigue, and fever.
    • It’s a good idea to not take anything that claims to give you the actual physical symptoms of strep throat. These could make you very sick.
  2. Avoid talking to show how much your throat hurts. Someone with strep throat is usually in too much pain to talk a lot. If you reply to questions with head or hand gestures or even by writing notes, this helps convince people that your throat is too sore to talk.
    • It’s also advisable that when you do say something, not to say it too loudly or yell. Remember, you’re in too much pain to really even be talking. This can also be particularly effective if you’re looking to get out of a commitment on the same day.
  3. Avoid talking about whatever commitment you don’t want to attend. This is a dead giveaway that you’re probably not sick and trying to get out of something.
  4. Swallow slowly and show your pain. This demonstrates that not only is your throat hurting so much it hurts to swallow, but also that you’re being careful to not further irritate it.[4]
    • Closing your eyes and lightly wincing when you do slowly swallow reinforces just how much your strep throat hurts.[4]
  5. Gargle with salt water. This is one way to soothe an actual sore throat and will show that you’re trying to take care of yourself.[3]
  6. Be tired, sluggish, and sad. If you don’t show any energy or motivation to do things you normally like, this will show that you’re not feeling like your usual self.
    • Don’t be too sluggish. Showing general fatigue, such as not moving around much or not wanting to get out of bed other than to use the bathroom is plenty. It’s not a good idea to collapse or fall out of bed as it might end with an unwanted doctor’s visit.
    • If someone mentions that you’re missing a commitment, say something along the lines of “I’m sorry to miss school/ work today because we had a group lunch planned.”
    • Don’t smile too much or appear happy. Again, you’re feeling sick and want to convince others of this as well. Looking happy will make them question whether or not you’re really ill.
  7. Have a fever. It’s not easy to tell if someone has a fever unless it’s fairly high. Faking a fever will make it seem like you are sick.
    • Wrapping yourself in blankets will raise your body temperature slightly for the case that someone wants to take your temperature.
    • Lightly jogging in place will flush your skin and may cause you to sweat, making it appear as though you have a fever. Just make sure no one sees you jogging.
    • Spraying your face with a light mist is another option to show that your body is fighting a fever.
  8. Don’t eat a lot, especially heavy foods. If you’re eating a lot, especially of heavy foods that could irritate your throat further, it will cast doubt on to your illness.
    • Eat things like soup, bananas, yogurt, or other soft foods that won’t exacerbate your strep symptoms.
    • Drink soothing liquids like tea with honey or cold water.
  9. Don’t overdo it with symptoms. While you want to show that you have the symptoms of strep throat to legitimate your illness, going overboard with symptoms is likely to expose that you’re not actually sick.
    • For example, it’s impossible to have a temperature of 107 degrees Fahrenheit without being seriously ill or dead. Stay within real limits to avoid someone figuring out that you’re not really sick.

Keeping up the Appearance of Illness

  1. Don’t let anyone seeing you out and about. Remember, you’re sick. By venturing out of the house, you open yourself up to questions about just how ill you are. The safest way to not get caught is to not leave the house.
    • This is especially true for any type of event like a play or even to go shopping. It could be very uncomfortable, for example, if you run into a colleague or your boss at the mall on a day you’ve called in sick. Likewise, attending a school play or sporting event on a day you’ve been home with strep throat also raises red flags.
    • If you go outside of your home, for example for food, and run into someone, then you can always say “I’m out to get medication. I ran out last night.”
  2. Keep babying your throat. Strep throat doesn’t disappear from one day to the next, so it’s important to keep up appearances that you’re healing.
    • Don’t talk loudly or yell so that you don’t irritate your still sensitive throat.
    • Keep drinking soothing liquids like tea with honey or cool water. Likewise, using throat lozenges will reinforce that you’re still sick.
  3. Don’t get back to regular activities right away. Doing your regular activities, from going to the gym or having a wild dinner party, soon after you had strep throat isn’t a good idea because it will raise questions about why you could do these things but couldn’t come to work or school.
    • Slowly reintroduce your usual program. For example, if there’s a dinner the day after you get back to work, skip it and say “I’m still a bit under the weather so I’m going to pass this time.”

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Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/strep-throat/basics/symptoms/con-20022811
  2. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/strep-throat/basics/causes/con-20022811
  3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/strep-throat/basics/preparing-for-your-appointment/con-20022811
  4. ↑ 4.0 4.1 http://www.fakesick.com/how-to-fake-a-sore-throat/
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