Feel Comfortable Having Small Muscles

Body image is how you feel when you think about your body shape. If you have a positive body image, you will feel generally happy with how you look. Someone with a negative body image will be unsatisfied with his or her appearance, potentially leading to intense anxiety and harmful behaviours. Women with negative body image tend to think they are overweight, whereas men who are unhappy with their body often think they should be more muscular. Understanding body image and physiology will help you to feel comfortable with your body, and not judge yourself against the idealised images presented in the media.

Steps

Dealing With Body Image Anxieties

1. Concentrate on health--not just looks. Big, masculine muscles are considered indicators of strength and health. However, while there is some truth to this, many very strong and healthy individuals do not look like body builders.
   • Look at a variety of athletes; the type of muscles develops depends quite a bit on the sport trained for. Weightlifters will look quite different than divers, speed-skaters, or professional dancers. But all have to be strong and healthy.
   • Many athletic people are not "ripped". While a very dedicated athlete likely has a great physique, even good amateur athletes are not necessarily outstandingly muscular. In fact, many athletes (such as marathoners) tend to look scrawny rather than brawny.
   • Think of reasons to exercise other than your physical appearance.
   • Exercising to have fun, relieve stress, improve concentration or vitality, or socialize creates a better relationship with your body and exercise.
2. Know that muscles are not everything. For men especially, focus on a muscular appearance tends to be the ideal. But this narrow focus tends to ignore the fact that rippled muscles are not the only feature that people find attractive.
   • Just as men find attraction in different features, women do too. Some women swoon over big biceps. But others prefer a more slight build. Others are more impressed by other things. Women are diverse in what they find attractive...not just muscles.
   • Different physical attributes are good for different things. Very large and muscular people often lack the flexibility, agility and coordination of someone with a slighter frame.
   • Not everyone excels at sports and physical activities, and many people do not have that as a requirement for attraction..
   • Remember that other talents attract romantic partners. Playing the guitar, being a great dance partner, being able to get a computer working can all be just as "sexy" as a muscular body.
3. Deal with pressure from people you know. Sometimes the hardest pressure you can come under about your body is from people you know, especially friends and family. We learn from the people with whom we spend the most time, so if you grow up in a house of people who take body image very seriously, you are likely to feel under more pressure to conform to this standard.
   • The same is true for your friendship groups, where you are likely to spend time talking about clothes and appearance.
   • Despite pressures you may feel to go along with what others say and do, remember that these standards are created and not fixed or natural.
   • Try to spend time with people who have a healthy relationship with their bodies, physical activity, and food.
4. Realize you’re not alone. If you have a negative body image, you are not alone. It has been suggested that around half of men don’t like to be photographed or seen in swimwear. Other research has revealed that a majority of men feel that part of their body is not muscular enough. The research also reported that more men than women would sacrifice at least a year of their life in exchange for what they perceived to be a perfect body.
   • More than half of those surveyed said body talk affected them.
   • 63% said that they thought their chest or arms were not muscular enough.
   • The high percentages of men unsatisfied with their bodies reflects the prevalence of idealised images and the difficulty of achieving them in reality.
5. Be skeptical of idealised images. If you want to try to develop a positive body image, it’s important to try to think critically about the idealised physiques that are so prevalent across culture and society. It can be very difficult to escape these images, so rather than trying to avoid them altogether, be appropriately skeptical about what they are presenting.
   • Realize that advertising images do not reflect reality; they are something created to try and make you want to buy something.
   • Whereas women typically feel under pressure to lose weight, men generally feel under pressure to gain more muscle mass.
   • Remember that photographs in magazines and advertising are often altered and Photoshopped, with imperfections removed, muscles enhanced, etc.
6. Consider counselling. If you find that you are very down about your body, and your mood is negatively affected when you think about how you look, consider getting some professional counselling or guidance. This is especially recommended if you find yourself developing destructive and harmful behaviours, such as compulsive exercise or binge eating.
   • Contact your doctor in the first instance and explain how you are feeling.
   • Your doctor may refer you to a counsellor who can talk through everything with you, and help you take steps to develop a healthier body image.

Learning About Body Image Anxieties

1. Determine the contributory factors. Body image, both positive and negative, is shaped by a number of different factors and experiences. Most immediately, comments you hear from people you know about their own, or other people’s bodies, will influence how you think of your own body. The ideas that we ourselves develop about physical appearance, and how we compare ourselves to others, also have a major impact. Other contributory factors include:
   • Exposure to images of idealised physiques, as opposed to more normal bodies.
   • Any experiences of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse.
   • Experiences of prejudice or discrimination based on ability, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, gender identity.
   • A range of sensory experiences, including pleasure, pain, and illness.
2. Learn about physiology and genetics. The typical image of a “ripped” man, with 6-pack abs and highly muscular yet lean physique is reproduced everywhere from advertising to action figures. This image of masculinity does necessarily represent an achievable reality for everybody, no matter how much they work out. It is physiologically impossible to gain unlimited pounds of muscle mass while maintaining a lean physique.
   • Once you reach your optimal muscle mass, any further weight gain will be from fat as well as muscle.
   • Men who are bigger, with larger muscle mass, do tend to have higher body fat percentages too.
   • It may seem like attaining an idealised version of your body just takes hard work and commitment, but genetics are also a major influence.
   • You can be fit, strong and healthy without looking like a fitness model or action figure.
3. Consider potential knock-on effects. A negative body image is increasingly prevalent amongst men, and research suggests that body anxiety can have significantly harmful effects beyond self-esteem and image. In particular, research has shown that a negative body image can impact a man’s sexual well-being. In some cases it was considered a contributory factor to more aggressive and risky sexual behaviour.
   • A heightened concern about body image and being insufficiently muscular has also been found to put people at greater risk of dangerous practices to alter their bodies.
   • Things such as extreme dieting, compulsive exercise, steroid abuse, and laxative abuse have all been linked with body image anxieties.

Achieving a Healthy Weight

1. Determine if you are underweight. If you feel that your physique is small, there is a chance that you are actually underweight. The health dangers of being overweight are well-known, but there are also significant problems attached to being underweight. Evaluate whether you are underweight and consider steps to develop a healthier physique. This isn’t about becoming a bodybuilder, but is about being healthy and happy.
   • Use a BMI healthy weight calculator to assess your weight and size, like the one here.
   • If you are underweight you may not be getting enough calories, which can leave you tired and lethargic.
   • Being underweight can mean your body lacks the nutrients to develop fully. Your immune system will also suffer, making you more susceptible to illness.
2. Reach a healthy weight. If you are underweight you should aim to gradually gain weight until you reach the recommended level for your age and height. This doesn’t mean eating a lot of fatty and sugar-filled foods to pile on the pounds. Doing this will increase your body fat, rather than your lean body mass. You should instead try to eat three meals a day, and three snacks a day, which are based on the principles of a healthy balanced diet.
   • High-energy foods are particularly effective if you are trying to gain weight.
   • Try oatmeal with whole milk for breakfast, with smoothies for snacks.
   • For lunch, a baked potato with tuna gives you lots of energy.
   • Peanut butter on wheat toast is a great high-energy snack to have between meals if you want to put on some weight.
3. Increase your strength and flexibility. Achieving a healthy weight and physique does not mean building enormous muscles. Having a toned, athletic, and flexible body will help you stay healthy. Try to couple strength exercises, such as push up, squats, and crunches, with exercises that improve your flexibility, such as yoga or pilates.
   • Remember: you should not try to emulate an idealised or unattainable physique.
   • Think about how physically fit you feel, rather than what you look like.
   • Exercising regularly will help keep your body healthy. Try to do some muscle-strengthening exercises twice a week.

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Sources and Citations

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