Find a Good Roommate
The best way to avoid roommate conflicts is to pick the right roommate in the first place. It can be tempting to select a roommate on the basis of how friendly they are, but you're better off judging them on the basis of day-to-day living compatibility.
Contents
Steps
- Make sure your landlord allows you to have a roommate. If there is a Homeowners Association you need to find out what they require (background check, lease addendums).
- Decide whether you want to share a bedroom and bathroom or not.
- Don't share a bedroom unless you have to; the potential conflicts are multiplied with a shared bedroom and consequent loss of privacy.
- Sharing a bathroom is usually easier with a same-sex roommate.
- Decide whether you want to live with just one roommate or several. Several roommates may have friends that you may not like to get to know.
- With more people, tensions may rise, especially if there are only 1 or 2 bathrooms.
- With just one roommate, it is very easy for you and your roommate to become annoyed with each other but that's normal anytime people live together.
- Decide if you have a preference for a male or female roommate. If you are a female, use extra caution if choosing a male roommate and make sure it is someone you will feel safe around. Also, decide if they are an age range you are more comfortable with.
- Decide how much rent you need, if you want a deposit or a lease and if utilities will be included.
- Decide if you will accept a pet (if they are allowed). You usually have more options if you allow a pet but you need to think about the repercussions. If you like dogs and have a yard, it can be a win win. You may even be able to collect more rent this way and feel more secure at home but rules would need to be pre-determined.
- Locate a potential roommate (research reputable websites that match roommates, check local newspapers, go to local colleges and check bulletin boards, and ask your friends for a referral, etc).
- Once you have found a potential roommate, meet with them, preferably at a coffeehouse or similar public place, and compare their living preferences and daily habits to yours. Find out what they are looking for. Suggested questions:
- Ask why they are moving and about their current job, if they are employed. What someone does often reflects on the type of person they are.
- Are they early risers or night owls? Light sleeper or good sleeper?
- What is their typical work or school schedule? (Will it conflict with yours?)
- What do they need to feel secure (locking windows, etc)?
- What temperature do they think is comfortable?
- Are they neat or "relaxed?? Get clarification as this means different things to different people (and no one admits to being a slob).
- What are their favorite/least favorite chores? How to do they like to divide up household work (chore list, just do it when they feel like it, etc.).
- When should the roommate worry if they are not home at a certain time? Do you wait until morning to make phone calls or do you send for a search team if they're 15 minutes late from work or school?
- Are they extra-sensitive to fragrances and/or odors? This may affect what you choose as cleaning products and you may have to hide your running shoes after going to the gym.
- Are they allergic to anything? (Examples: peanuts, perfume, milk, flowers, mold, smoke).
- Do they smoke, drink, or do any other kinds of recreational drugs?
- Do they enjoy talking or do they prefer to be quiet all the time? Do they talk about feelings or keep to themselves?
- Do they enjoy decorating, or do they not care about decorating? What decorating style do they have?
- What kind of music do they listen to and, more importantly, do they particularly enjoy listening to it when it's loud?
- How much TV do they watch? What do they watch? Are they fans of a sport team that you do not support or a sport you do not like
- Do they like to share some items like pots and dishes or do they prefer to have separate everything?
- How often do they invite friends and romantic interests over? (Are you comfortable with the crowd they hang out with?)
- Find out what your potential roommate expects to get out of their roommate (you!) and see how their expectations compare with yours. Some people want a roommate just as a way to cut the rent cost, with minimal interaction; some want people they can hang out with. Make sure expectations match. Be honest about your difficult qualities when answering your potential roomie's questions about you.
- Look out for signs of whether the person is honest and safe. If you get any uneasy feelings, politely say that you don't think they would be compatible with you and end the interview.
- Look out for possible interest in music instruments or hobbies.You may not be a big fan of the bagpipes.
Tips
- You are more likely to find the perfect roommate if you advertise and let applicants come to you (versus responding to an ad yourself for a vacant room).
Warnings
- Don't give out personal information to potential roommates before you have met them. It's safest to meet in a public place first, not at your home, and show them your home only after you have talked to them long enough to get a sense of their character.
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