Get Over Being Used

Being used is about having been taken advantage of, mostly because you can provide something another person wants, rather than wanting to truly connect with you as a friend or other supportive person. It hurts to discover that someone is using you, taking all they can without ever having any intention of returning kindness, help or love to you. It can be near impossible to fathom why and that can make it harder to accept. Yet, despite your pain, for your own benefit it is important to reach acceptance and move past this unpleasant betrayal, so that you can get on with your life.

Steps

Letting it out of your system

  1. Have a good cry. It may sound strange to say, but crying is a great way to work out the grief running through you. If you cry now, you'll be able to come at the problem in a more level-headed way later.
  2. Combat the heartbreak. Now is the time to get over the heartbreak and loss. There are other wikiHows that can help deal with this stage in more detail, but a little comfort may be in order.
  3. Work up a great sweat every day. Fake it until you make it. This person didn't deserve you and now you're free!
  4. Talk about it! It's important to talk to a trusted friend or relation at this point, in order to prevent this from eating you away. They may be able to offer a helpful piece of guidance.

Deciding where things stand

  1. Realize your position. Understand where you are positioned at present. Whether this is because you've been dumped or spurned or turned into a friend after a long-term relationship, that's where you are. It's best not to fantasize that you can ever get back what you've lost.
  2. Understand the person's motives. Why did the other person use you? Was it to create jealousy, or to gain experience in relationships? Were you talented enough to attract their interest as a useful tool? If you understand why you were used you can prevent it in future.
    • Ask yourself: "Was a person capable of using and manipulating the goodness in me the man/woman I really want in my life"?

Starting over

  1. Let yourself feel a sense of relief and freedom. You've made a decision to liberate yourself from someone who was willing to trick you in order to get something out of you that they wanted.
  2. Write down some things that should have made you questioned the relationship. Then reflect on some things that you are proud of about how you conducted yourself. Give attention to that good person in you that was mistreated. Act more quickly next time you find yourself in an imbalanced relationship.
  3. Move on! Move on with your life, and remove any unhelpful reminders. Try to forget the person and find other people and activities to keep yourself occupied.
  4. Chalk this up to experience. You've got one reason to be pleased - you're now more experienced in the ways of the world. Chances are you won't be vulnerable to this kind of abuse again, and you can prevent a friend from falling victim to it too.

Tips

  • Revenge is not the way to get back at somebody.
  • A certain amount of chocolate, ice cream, frosting, or sweet food may be necessary. If you do start comfort-eating, however, be prepared to take a stringent weight-loss diet afterward.
  • Talking is the best way to overcome heartbreak of this kind.

Warnings

  • Don't get back in contact if possible. This will only make things harder to handle, and you'll only put yourself back in harm's way.
  • Don't let heartbreak destroy you, distract yourself, renew your courage. Don't give in to sadness.
  • Don't start taking revenge on people. You may only make matters worse and you could end up being sued for damages.
  • Be careful if you do begin comfort eating. It can be very unhealthy.

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