Get People to Hang Out with You

When you want to make friends to hang out with, it’s never an easy feat. When you’re new to the area or your friends’ availability may be limited, it's hard to find ways to create a social life from scratch. It pays off to explore creative ways to encourage new and existing friends to hang out and enjoy the good times.

Steps

Hanging Out With Old Friends

  1. Make your home a fun place to hang out. People want to go where they know they’ll have a good time, so make your space the place they want to be. Have plenty of things for your guests to do. Don’t limit yourself on activities that you think will result in fun times.
    • Write down a list of ideas of fun things to do, or surf the web for interesting social activities. Store that list of activities in a place that's easily accessible for a rainy day. You never know when you'll need to host a day of fun.
    • Cater to your friends' interests. For example, if you know your friends love good food, consider having a themed dinner party.
  2. Have a party for your friends. Supply different types of party games designed for social interactions, like Twister. Keep refreshments such as drinks, snacks, and light appetizers readily available for your guests. Have a playlist of music ready to go for any social occasion, but encourage your friends to bring playlists of their own to share.
    • See if one or more of your friends wants to help with the party planning. That way, you can hang out while also planning a great social event.
    • Be inclusive when it comes to inviting people to the party. Since you want to find more people to hang out with, it's better to invite more people instead of being exclusive.
  3. Be the planner in the group. Oftentimes, people are less likely to want to hang out if there’s no one taking the initiative to plan outings. Instead of waiting for people to call you, organize activities and outings that will interest your friends in participating.
    • Pick your friends’ brain and ask what they’re interested in doing. They may have recommendations for things to do. That can relieve the planning pressures.
    • When your friends see that you are taking their preferences into account, they'll be more likely to want to hang out in the future.

Meeting Potential Friends

  1. Join social activities. Sometimes, changing up your normal routine has the potential to open up your surroundings and the people that you’re around. Trying new activities has the potential to turn into new hobbies. New hobbies bring new opportunities to make new friends.
    • When you spend time doing something you love, you're more likely to meet people with similar interests who want to hang out. For example, if you discover you like trivia, join a trivia team; you'll quickly get to know your teammates, and you'll have a built-in hangout session every week.[1]
    • Consider joining a club or sports team that meets weekly. This regular social time will put you more in the mood to make new friends.
  2. Meet people online. Dating sites paved the way for meeting people online, but you can use them even if friendship is what you seek. Choose a dating site conducive to friendly matchmaking and create a profile to share your interests. Be as open to meeting others as you'd like them to be when they come across your profile.
    • For a less personal experience, try a site that hosts meetups among people with common interests. You can meet up with people to play a sport, take a hike, discuss politics, and so on.
    • Try putting your Facebook friendships to the test by organizing a meetup among people you already know. See if people want to have a picnic, play a game of pickup kickball, or meet up in a smaller group for coffee.
  3. Stretch yourself. Embrace hobbies and interests that are designed for socialization such as joining the local sports league or hanging out at the gym, bars, clubs, and so on. Shy away from solitary hobbies such as reading or going for a walk. Being around more people increases the likelihood of meeting new people who share similar interests.

Breaking the Ice with New Friends

  1. Strike up a conversation with someone who looks interesting. It can be challenging, and sometimes awkward, to walk up to a person and start a conversation, but taking that first step is a great way to make new friends. In most cases, the person you're talking with will be happy to chat.
    • If you see someone that you’re interested in chatting with, politely greet the person. Start talking about the activity that the two of you are partaking in at that moment, such as watching your kids at the park or waiting in line for coffee.
    • If the person seems interested, keep the ball rolling. Talk about anything and everything. General topics such as movies, tv, books, sports, and so on are generally fun to talk about with anyone. Mention your favorites and be sure to ask them about their favorites. Keep the conversation light, open, and fun.
  2. Make the interaction personable. It may be difficult to relate to someone that you just met, but making the effort to be personable allows your potential new buddy to be comfortable around you. Comfort creates openness. Creating an atmosphere of comfort can decrease the awkwardness of talking to a stranger and can make interaction a pleasant experience.
    • Practice good, active listening skills. Once your potential new friend begins to open up, actively listen and ask questions. Listening will help you pay attention to important details that will help with putting you on the right track towards developing a friendship.
    • Don't put too much pressure on the interaction. If the other person doesn't seem to be interested in talking, don't push it.
  3. Be genuine. Start things on the right foot by being genuinely interested in whomever you’re conversing with. The only connections that will work are the ones you really care about. [2] Being yourself is key when it comes to making friends.
  4. Ask the person to hang out sometime. If all goes well, it's fine to take it to the next level and see if the person wants to hang out again. You can exchange numbers and make a concrete plan for spending some time together.
    • When you ask the person to hang out, have a low-key activity in mind. For example, if you met waiting in line for coffee, ask if the person wants to have coffee with you in a few days. That way, you'll both be in your comfort zone when it's time to hang out.
    • If the person shies away from hanging out, try not to take it personally. Not everyone is open to making new friends on the spot.

Tips

  • Don't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to just to "fit in".
  • Don’t shy away from the unknown. Be open to trying new things.
  • Give your friends space to enjoy their alone time. Avoid being too needy or dependent on the company of others.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://www.succeedsocially.com/howtomakefriendsnewcity
  2. ↑ http://www.forbes.com/sites/theyec/2012/04/25/the-7-pillars-of-connecting-with-absolutely-anyone/#7f054fac7d8b
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