Get a Shy Guy
Do you like a shy guy? Yes, they might be hard to talk to at first, but just remember that they're still people underneath that wall of silence. You just have to get past that wall and you may find that you like what's underneath it. Remember, most shy people don't open up right away. Following these steps probably does not earn results in a few days, so be prepared to spend awhile trying to get him to open up.
Steps
- Casually approach him and strike up a small conversation. Remember, shy people are just like everyone else except with a wall, like I said; they won't run away if you make quick movements. Small conversation is usually rather impersonal and can consist of: the homework, weather, teachers, something on the news, or otherwise. If he really likes you, he won't be able to stop thinking about you.
- If you don't go to school with him, maybe ask what he likes to do other then homework, and school, or even maybe ask for his number. Remember if he doesn't text you first don't sweat it. If he's shy in person with you, he'll be shy everywhere with you!
- Get in contact with him on a social network. It won't intimidate him as much, and will give him a chance to think about his answer. If you don't have social media, just try asking for a simple number.
- Attempt to talk to him a few times a week. By talking to him a few times a week, you will begin establishing a bond and he may start to tear down his wall for you. After small talk, you should begin moving onto personal things like: family, travel, summer vacation plans, his hobbies, and other casual but personal topics.
- Gauge his feelings and drop hints that you like him. After you've talked to him for awhile, transition conversations onto a more personal level. Perhaps talk about what you both are looking for in a person, and drop hints that what you're looking for is him.
- Make physical contact after awhile, but be sure he's okay with it. Don't ask him if he's okay with being touched, just do it once and see how he reacts. A touch or pat on the shoulder is fine. If he seems to dislike it, then refrain from touching him until you know he is more comfortable with you. However, if he seems fine with it, then you should continue to do it every once in a while. Don't go too far; hugs (when needed), small touches on his arm, and pats on the shoulder are just fine.
- Ask him out. Make sure to do this in private and one-on-one. Don't even ask around close friends, or else he might feel uncomfortable as well as feel pressured to say yes. You want him to say yes because he wants to, not because he thinks he needs to. He might also be pressured to say no, so be careful.
- Keep the date simple if he agrees. Going out to public places is most likely not his thing. Suggest a movie at your house (though he might be afraid to meet your parents) or something else that's away from people. You could also suggest getting drive-through dinner and parking some place quiet to eat and talk.
- Every person has an ego. If necessary, find a way to increase his self-esteem. Make him feel confident around you.
- Let him feel competent by having him help you with something. It could be a homework problem or where to buy the latest gadget. Whatever works.
- Be genuinely interested in him. Because shy guys are guys too! Find out his hobbies or passions. Or talk about a common interest. DO NOT PRETEND TO LIKE SOMETHING YOU DON'T! But ask open-ended questions about it. It will make you a good listener, get to know him better, and you will have fewer chances to say something stupid. (If you do anyway, as 99% of us do, forgive yourself.)
- Be approachable and attractive, but not so stunning and loud as to draw him away. Most guys actually approach cute girls over gorgeous girls because they find really pretty girls out of their league. This applies particularly to shy guys, who have little confidence to begin with. I'm not saying it isn't okay to be really, really, really, incredibly good-looking. But don't draw so much attention to it. Now is not the time to try cutting-edge fashion or over-the-top makeup.
- Throw a small party and invite a few people you know he'll be comfortable with. Make it fun by trying some ice-breaking games and whatnot.
Tips
- You don't need to cake on make-up to impress him -- a good conversation and connection will most likely impress him more, but if caking the makeup on is what you think you have to do, he isn't worth it. Guys you want to date, like you for who you are.
- Find something genuine to compliment him on. Flattery works wonders...just make sure it's subtle and sincere.
- Being in a group of friends while around him can be intimidating, and will lessen your chances of him approaching you. If you approach him, do so alone and he will likely feel much more comfortable.
- A shy guy may not seem interested if you try talking to him, but just keep trying.
- One well placed and truly genuine compliment can make very good progress with him.
- Make sure he's comfortable with everything you do. If you try to jump from small talk to personal to what they look for too quickly, they may become uncomfortable and feel turned off by you. Only progress to more personal levels if you can see that he is comfortable with the conversation.
- If you want him to be the one to ask you out, try to become friends with him and keep him relaxed while staying close, but not too close. He wants you to seem mysterious, so he'll ask you out to figure you out
- Try to befriend the guy first. Shy guys are more likely to like a girl they're already close to instead of the distant, unobtainable girl in the hall.
- Always remember a guy who is shy may have been hurt bad in the past. It is often, and sometimes exactly what he would prefer if you approach him. In reality most good hearted shy guys might want a girl that shows the desire to get to know him. In other words if you like him, or think he's cute don't be afraid to be the first one to say hello.
- Do throw small parties with mutual friends. A great way to engage in contact is to dance with him. You don't have to be an amazing dancer, just be silly and have fun with it. Make him feel comfortable. If you open up to him, he'll start to be comfortable around you. Anyway, the dancing works every time!
- Make sure you think about what you want to say before you start talking.
Warnings
- Don't be surprised if you get little response; shy people are often people of few words.
- Above all, DO NOT flirt with other guys, or date other guys without him knowing, and/or approving; that also will shatter his self confidence completely and he will feel rejected. Shy guys are almost always emotionally sensitive.
- Don't be pushy or clingy.
- After becoming friends, to start a conversation, talk about something he likes, like COD, or sports or whatever
- Shy people may scare easily in social situations.
- A shy guy might have low self-confidence. Don't dump him right away after getting him, or else you might shatter his self-confidence completely, as well as his trust for people trying to be nice to him.
- Don't expect intimacy just yet.
- Don't play party games as a shy guy will be mortified and shut down.
Things You'll Need
- A private place to talk to him
- Patience
