Attract the Guy You Have a Crush On

If you're tired of longingly gazing at a crush who's barely aware of your existence, it might be time to take action to catch his eye. To attract the guy you have a crush on, demonstrate kindness, find common ground, befriend him, and look your best while feeling comfortable. You should also be yourself and be clear about your intentions toward him so there are few misunderstandings. It might seem intimidating now, but attracting your crush is definitely possible.

Steps

Getting Your Crush’s Attention

  1. Be friendly. If your crush has no idea you exist, it's going to be difficult to attract him. Try to get to know each other by becoming acquainted with his friends, joining a club he's in, or asking someone who knows him to introduce you. Be careful because if you don't want him to know you like him, they might say something which could ruin your chances and make things uncomfortable.[1]
    • If your crush is in your class, talk to him a little before or after class (talking during class could get you some unwanted, negative attention).You could comment on the teacher, the work you have to do or make a joke when he's listening. It's scary but you'll feel good once you make a move.
    • Say something like, “The homework was hard last night. Were you able to figure it out?” to start a conversation with him.
  2. Find common ground. It's easier to start conversations when you both have found something to talk about. You might possibly consider taking up some of his interests but don't become a whole different person just for someone else. It's definitely not worth it. If you have no common interests, don't freak out, just ask him about his hobbies or about something you already know he enjoys.[2]
    • For example, If you've never watched a TV show before that he's practically addicted to, just tell him, ask him about it to spark an instant conversation. You could say, “Have you ever seen [TV show you know he likes]?” to get him talking about something he is a fan of and will get excited about.
  3. Get to know him better. You have to be friends before he will start to reciprocate the whole "crush feeling" in return. If you aren’t already friends, you could always start out by bringing up a general conversation topic (i.e. weather, a crazy thing that happened that day, presidential elections, assignments...) and if all else fails, you could always just ask for a pencil or some paper and go from there.
    • Maybe after you've gotten to know him a little better, you can joke around or tease him, maybe even flirt with him - but don't get too ahead of yourself. He might feel awkward if a girl he barely knows starts flirting hard-core with him.
    • Add him on Facebook or follow him on Twitter or Instagram if you haven’t already done so. You can learn more about your crush’s interests and hobbies by doing this as well. You can “like” his posts whenever you see them to indicate your interest in what he posts and talks about.
  4. Be playful. Guys are generally attracted to and notice people with a good sense of humor, especially those with playful personalities. Try joking around with him or teasing him if you are comfortable doing so. Being able to make him laugh could be attractive to him.[3]
    • For example, you could lightly joke around by saying something like, “I’m short because I actually escaped from Willy Wonka’s factory” or something silly along those lines to show that you are confident in yourself but you enjoy a good laugh.

Befriending Your Crush

  1. Flirt with him. Nothing is more tragic than the oh-so-cliche' friend-likes-friend-who-doesn't-like-her-that-way drama. Be sure that you aren't considered "one of the guys" or just his "bud". Of course, you have to get to know him first and you may possibly just gain an amazing friend in the process (which is all right, some pursued crushes could turn out to be one of your best friends) but be a little more flirty with him, in a way that you're sure one of his "buds" wouldn't be.[2]
    • For example, to set yourself apart from “one of the guys”, maybe give him a hug, a playful peck on the cheek, or play with his hair.
  2. Avoid always talking about yourself. Your crush may be attracted to you if you let him share details about his life. This shows that you’re really interested in him and what he has to say. Try not to always talk about yourself; he wants to know about you but give him a chance to share about himself.
    • If he asks questions about you, answer them but don’t focus on yourself for too long. You can steer the conversation toward him by asking questions like, “How many siblings do you have?” or “What is your favorite thing about your family?”
    • Ask about his interests or hobbies by saying something along the lines of “Have you read any good books recently?” or “What videogames do you like to play?”
  3. Laugh at his jokes. One of the best ways to demonstrate to a guy that you like him and enjoy his company is to laugh at his jokes! This boosts his confidence and signals to him that you have a similar sense of humor and find the same things funny. For many people, a sense of humor is one of the most important qualities they look for in a significant other.[4]
    • If he says something that you find funny, join in or add your own joke. For example, if you’re talking about a celebrity, you could add something that you find to be amusing to the conversation.
    • Avoid being too mean, such as making fun of other people’s appearances or mocking individuals you both know. You don’t want to come off as someone who will make fun of him behind his back or come off as cruel.
  4. Hang out at his favorite places. If you know where your crush likes to spend his time, you can get yourself noticed by showing up there every so often. For example, if he has a favorite coffee shop in the area, you could go there with a friend or two on the off chance you might see him there. You could also study or do your homework there.
    • If you know that he’s going to a concert, see if you can get tickets to go as well. This can provide a chance for you to bump into him and say hello. This could even give you a reason to hang out together.
    • Try joining a club or activity that he is a part of. This could also give you a reason to talk and hang out.
    • Be careful not to show up where he is all the time or he may get annoyed or think you are stalking him. Just be yourself and if he happens to enjoy the same activities as you, even better!

Keeping Up Appearances

  1. Keep your hair healthy. Hair is one of the first thing guys notice and it has been shown that they are attracted to healthy-looking hair. If your hair is color-treated or damaged, try soaking it in coconut oil overnight and washing it out the next morning. It’s a great way to treat dry, damaged hair. If your hair is healthy, avoid over-processing it with too many dyes or chemicals, which can lead to damage and breakage.[5]
  2. Practice good hygiene. You may want to avoid smelling like body odor in front of your crush, which could give him a negative impression of you. You don't have to be flowery, clean, and fresh all the time, just try to shower daily, wear deodorant and possibly put on some nice perfume or cologne to try to impress him. Smelling nice or at least presentable, is actually pretty attractive.
  3. Be yourself. Don't feel pressured to dress just like everyone else and don't concern yourself with whether you’re wearing the brand name that's popular. If you feel comfortable, you will protect your best self and people will feel comfortable around you. Also, if a guy is truly into you, he won't care about the small flaws in your appearance that you might see every time you look in the mirror.

Tips

  • Be careful who you tell about your crush. You never know if that person likes him too!
  • Don't be easy. It's not impressive and it'll give you a bad reputation, so try to be yourself and be open with your own feelings.
  • When you look at your crush, don't look at him for too long or he will think you're weird. Just shoot a quick glance to see if he was looking at you.
  • Try to make eye contact. If you are tempted to glance at him quickly, hold contact for a little longer. If you're ultra shy, it's okay but eye contact shows that you are feeling very open and comfortable. Staring at someone, however, connotes that you are a stalker and risks sending 'red flags' to your crush that indicate the possibility that you are a bit obsessive or crazy.
  • If you are not close friends with him yet (because you get shy around him), then try being friends with the people he hangs out with.
  • Be friendly! Remember to be positive and ask him simple questions like how he's doing and take an interest in what he says.
  • Try not to flirt with other guys around him. Jealousy is not a good feeling. It might lower his self esteem and interest in you depending on the guy's level of self-confidence and he may seek out other girls' interest simply for the comfort.
  • If you still haven't gotten him yet, don't be hyper or weird when he's around. It'll only make him think you're a weirdo and someone to be avoided.
  • Trying to make moves too fast can scare him. Make sure that he feels comfortable around you first, then go in for the win.
  • Stand close to him when you get the chance. If you still don't know him very well, don't overdo it by holding his hand. Just stand shoulder to shoulder. He might look at you and smile but if he walks away, don't try it again in a hurry or else he might get wary of you!
  • Before you go telling everyone you have a crush on this guy, you should get to know him as a friend first. You don't want to tell everyone and then find out he does drugs the next day. As they say, don't judge books by covers;don't judge people by faces. It’s okay for you guys to just be friends but move onto someone else.
  • If you are going to make a joke, make sure it's funny and not cheesy, because the latter could just come off as annoying (although some guys might see it as cute).Try to make it on a subject he will be interested in and he will laugh at.
  • Social networking sites like Facebook are great because you have longer to think about what you say and if you don't like what you've written, you can type something else. Don't worry if you take more than a few minutes to type out a message; shyness is really quite cute and some guys will wonder what it is that you really want to type but don't have the confidence to.
  • Don't wear a lot of make-up. It hides your natural beauty!
  • When he makes a joke, don't slap him, just lightly touch his arm when you laugh. Depending on the guy, he will probably get closer to you.
  • Be confident!
  • If you make a lame joke and he laughs, he is probably interested in you. No one who is interested in someone wants to risk insulting them.
  • Laugh at his jokes but don't overdo it; no one likes a giggling "ninny". When you laugh he will look at you so don't try to seem fake or too flirty.
  • Ask for his number! It shows that you are interested in him. If he asks your number, he totally likes you! Keep it up!
  • Be yourself around the guy and don't be something you're not. If he doesn't like the real you then he's not worthy of it.
  • Invite him to do stuff with you,like sit with him at lunch or inviting him to play a game with your friends. Just don't do this all the time. He might want to play with his friends too.
  • If your crush is looking at you than smile and wave in a friendly way.
  • If you show him you are nice, kind and helpful, he might be more attracted to that. Be strong, be you, and be positive.
  • Always try to be nice and if he smiles at you, make sure you smile back.
  • Make sure he doesn't already love someone else.
  • Guys actually like modesty. Don't be slutty or it will make them uncomfortable...if you want to attract them in the right way, then dress comfortably but not super revealing. Be you!
  • Start slowly; ask what he's up to or whether or not they'd like to hang out with you some time.
  • Be friends with his or her closer friends so you get to know that person more.

Warnings

  • Don't stare. Just glance. If he's looks way too absolutely cute, stare at him for only a few seconds. If he catches you, either smile shyly, or look down, blush, and then smile shyly. It looks very cute and attractive.
  • Don't be a different person once his friends get around, he'll notice your sudden change in mood or personality and think you're a fake.
  • Avoid being clingy, naggy, overly dependent on attention and so on. Guys are attracted to a bit of a challenge, so tease them a bit. Use challenge in moderation, however, because guys will eventually get bored if their efforts seem to be coming to nothing.
  • Don't stalk him when he's not around you. He's going to have other friends and it's okay if you're not always with him. Let him have a life too. Don't drive him away by being a stalker.
  • Try to act normally. This is a lot harder than it looks but make sure you don't laugh too much or get over-excited and do something really stupid; you'll regret it in the long run.
  • Don't be annoying.
  • Don't allow yourself to put too much time into one person if the feelings are not mutual.
  • Don't act stupid.
  • Realize that all crushes are temporary and if this one doesn't work out, there will be another on the way.
  • Don't lose your identity. You have to think about yourself first.
  • Don't look jealous when he's talking to another girl - join the conversation!

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://www.gurl.com/2014/11/04/tips-on-how-to-attract-your-crush-what-men-are-attracted-to-science-studies/#5
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 http://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/g1757/how-to-get-your-crush/?
  3. ↑ http://www.gurl.com/2014/11/04/tips-on-how-to-attract-your-crush-what-men-are-attracted-to-science-studies/#6
  4. ↑ https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/02/050212200527.htm
  5. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/04/29/men-attracted-to-hair-_n_3179389.html
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