Handle Being Hit on at the Gym

Working out can can be the best part of the day. You’re making yourself stronger, healthier, and maybe taking some much needed “me time”. But unwanted attention at the gym can really ruin your workout. You can find ways to deal with being hit on at the gym so that you can stay focused on exercise. There are ways to avoid unwanted advances, and also strategies for avoiding attention. If all else fails, you can report repeat offenders.

Steps

Turning Down Unwanted Advances

  1. Say “no” politely. It can be pretty annoying to have your workout interrupted. It’s even worse if a stranger is hitting on you. Clearly indicate that you are not interested in pickup lines or invitations.[1]
    • You can say, “No, thanks. I’m just concentrating on my workout.”
    • If you want, you can smile while you say no. It’s up to you on how you wish to respond, and what makes you feel most confident.
  2. Be direct. There’s no need to beat around the bush. Don’t try to avoid the questions, comments, or invitations. Instead, directly address what was said to you. For example, if someone comes up to you and says, “Looking good. Do you want to run together sometime?”, you can say, “No, thank you, I don’t need a new running buddy.”[2]
  3. Sound confident. When you are turning down an unwanted advance, you want to make sure that you are getting your message across. You are entitled to a peaceful work out, so make that clear. Speak confidently, and don’t waiver in you direct response.
    • Speak in a normal tone of voice. Don’t whisper or lower your voice.
    • Make eye contact. This with further convey your sincerity
    • If you are interested in the advance, you should also sound confident while you accept the invitation.
  4. Trust your judgement. If someone makes you uncomfortable, you should act on those instincts. If you feel that someone if crossing your personal boundaries, rebuff that attention. Don’t feel like you have to make polite chit chat or smile if you get a bad feeling from someone.[3]

Avoiding Unwanted Attention

  1. Clearly state what you want. Sometimes getting hit on doesn’t mean being asked out. That can make it more difficult to just say a firm, “No thanks.” Have a response prepared if someone gives you other unwanted attention. Make it clear that you want the attention to stop. [4]
    • Maybe someone comes up to you and says, “You look great doing those squats.” You can indicate what you want by saying, “I don’t want you to comment on my looks. Please leave me alone so I can finish my workout.”
  2. Wear headphones. You might be able to avoid getting hit on at all. Next time you work out, try wearing headphones. This makes it clear that your attention is elsewhere and signals “Don’t talk to me.”[5]
    • Even if you don’t want to listen to music, you can still wear headphones. No one needs to know that you’re using them to avoid attention.
  3. Ignore the person. You might notice someone trying to catch your eye. If you don’t want to interact with the person, don’t make eye contact. Sometimes direct eye contact can signal a willingness to engage.[6]
    • Turn your head away from the person looking at you. Look straight ahead, or focus on the machine you’re using.
    • Headphones can be helpful for this, too. You can always pretend your music is loud and you can’t hear someone speaking to you.

Dealing With Persistent Offenders

  1. Talk to the staff. Sometimes it’s not enough to try to handle the situation yourself. If someone is either persistent or aggressive in hitting on you, it’s time to enlist help. Remember, the staff at your gym is there to assist you. Speak up and tell them that you have a problem.[7]
    • You can say, “That person in the blue shorts keeps hitting on me. I come here to focus on my fitness. Can a manager speak to that person about proper gym etiquette?”
  2. Make sure you’re being heard. Unfortunately, you might not get an immediate response. If the person you speak to doesn’t immediately take action, ask for confirmation that they are taking your complaint seriously. You could ask what steps they will be taking to make you feel more comfortable, and when.[7]
    • You could also ask to speak to the general manager.
    • It might be a good idea to put your complaint in writing. Send an email or a letter.
  3. Change your routine. There might be some instances where the person hitting on you just does not listen. It might not be ideal, but if you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, consider changing your regular routine.[8]
    • Go to the gym at a different time.
    • Try taking a group class instead of doing a solo workout.
    • Vary your schedule so that you go on different days at different times.

Tips

  • Remember that your safety comes first.
  • Don’t worry about having good manners. Be firm when saying “no”.

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-turn-down-a-date-2017-2>
  2. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/the-guyliner/kind-way-to-turn-down-a-date_b_3675987.html
  3. ↑ http://www.nicknotas.com/blog/how-to-reject-men-safely-and-respectfully/
  4. ↑ http://www.safewomenandgirls.com/2011/05/02/how-to-be-polite-without-inviting-unwanted-attention/index.html
  5. ↑ http://dailyburn.com/life/fitness/gym-etiquette-advice-tips/
  6. ↑ http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/relationships/etiquette-manners/how-to-handle-unwanted-attention
  7. ↑ 7.0 7.1 http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/22/AR2007062201933.html
  8. ↑ http://www.esia.net/safety_tips.htm
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