Hook Up with a Girl
You may be feeling nervous about hooking up with a girl, but to do it right, you just need to have confidence and to know what to say to get the girl's attention. Once you make the girl notice you, make her feel special, and start to get her in the mood, hooking up will be just a kiss away. If you want to know how to hook up with a girl, just follow these steps.
Contents
Steps
Making Her Notice You
- Flirt with her. If you want to hook up with a girl, you have to flirt with her first to show that you can play ball. To flirt with a girl the right way, you have to let her know that you're interested without giving too much away. After you make eye contact, don't be afraid to approach the girl and get a flirty conversation going. Here are some ways to flirt:
- Flirt with your body language. Maintain eye contact while you talk, keep your body turned toward her, and lean in a bit so you get closer.
- Tease her. Gently tease the girl about anything from her obsession with her cat to her pink shoes, all the while letting her know you think she's really cute.
- Keep it light. Maintain a light, fun, flirtatious banter when you're first trying to get to know the girl. If you try to get too serious right away, she'll think you're too intense.
- Don't forget to smile and laugh. Let her know how much you like talking to her without saying so.
- Touch her lightly. If it's going well, give her a light touch on the shoulder or arm.
- Make her feel special. Every girl wants to feel like she's the only girl in the world, so you should make her feel like a truly unique individual -- even if you're just trying to hook up with her. To make her feel special, you have to be a good listener, ask the right questions, and make her feel like everything she's saying is important.
- Ask her questions about herself. Don't ask anything too deep -- just talk about her siblings, favorite bands, and what she likes to do on the weekends.
- Listen intently. Don't look around the room while she's talking; instead, put your phone away, and only break eye contact to smile and look at the ground if things are getting too intense.
- Let her know what makes her stand out. You don't have to say, "I've never met anyone like you before," but you can say, "I've never heard such an incredible laugh." Let her know she's unique.
- Charm her. Charming people can walk into any room and talk to any person at all without getting uncomfortable. To charm the girl, you have to exude confidence and show that you're completely comfortable with yourself and that you love talking to people and making them feel great.
- Keep things positive. Charming people make the best of everything and are always emphasizing the great things in life -- that's why people want to be around them.
- Show that you can talk to anyone. Though you should focus on the girl, if her friends are around, you should charm them while keeping her attention. This will show that you can keep up a conversation with anyone.
- Impress her with your wit. Don't just laugh if she says something funny; fire back with a hilarious comment.
- Don't look too available. Though it's important to get the girl interested, you still have to play it coy if you really want her to hook up with you. No girl wants to hook up with the low-hanging fruit; you should look interested, but not desperate to hook up with her at any cost. There's a fine line between flirting and coming on too strong, so make sure you don't smother the girl with affection.
- You should compliment her, but don't tell her she's beautiful, amazing, and has an absolutely gorgeous body -- she will start to get overwhelmed or will suspect that you're not really being sincere.
- Don't talk about how you never get girls and are surprised that a great girl like her is actually talking to you. You should make her think that girls love talking to you all the time, even if it's not true.
- Sometimes it helps to make her jealous just a bit. If you mention another girl, briefly flirt with another girl, or just don't sound 100% invested in general, the girl will only want you more. Now, if you throw yourself at another girl right in front of her, she'll quickly lose interest.
- Know when enough is enough. If the girl just isn't having it, you'll know pretty quickly. If you're pulling out all the stops but she's just rolling her eyes, looking around the room, or signaling her friends to save her, then it's time to cut her loose. Don't hang around longer than you're wanted, or you'll just embarrass yourself. If she doesn't want you, that's okay -- move on and know you'll find someone else who isn't immune to your charms.
- If she clearly doesn't want you, be a gentleman as you say goodbye. Don't make things worse by saying, "Well, you clearly don't like me" -- instead, just tell her it was nice to meet her and go on your merry way.
Making Her Want You
- If it's going well, ask her out. You can't hook up with her if you don't ask her out, can you? Tell the girl that you've had a great time talking to her and ask her if she wants to pick up the conversation over drinks and dinner some time. Or if you're forward and met her out at a club or a bar, just ask her to come back home with you, but remember that this may make you look like a player if you're just getting to know each other. But if all you want to do is hook up, then hey--ask her to come over.
- If you really like the girl, then you should take her on a few dates first before you try to really hook up with her.
- Set the mood. Once you've got her alone -- whether it's later that same night or after a few dates -- you should set the mood before you try anything so she's feeling more romantic. If she's going back to your place, make sure everything is clean, that the lights are relatively dim, and that you have some provisions -- wine, cheese, chocolate, or other sexy snacks.
- Be an absolute gentleman when she comes over. Take off and hang up her coat and ask her if she'd like something to drink or eat.
- Compliment her. You don't have to go overboard. Just tell her she looks great that night, that you love her earrings, or just say that you like spending time with her. Make her feel special before you even make a move.
- Don't be insincere. Tell her something nice that's actually true. She'll be able to tell if you're just buttering her up with compliments to try to get her to hook up.
- Try some light touches. If she seems receptive and you're sitting next to her, then you can try some light touches before you start kissing her. Put your arm around her, place your hand on her knee, or even squeeze her hand to let her know that you're into her. You can even gently stroke her hair or put your arm around her waist if you're feeling more forward.
- See how she responds. If she's comfortable with your touches, then she'll move closer to you, smile, and will start putting her hands on you too.
- Once the light touches have done their trick, you can try to kiss her.
Hooking Up With Her
- Kiss her. Kissing a girl for the first time doesn't have to be scary. Just remember to be confident, take it slow, and know what to do with the rest of your body. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to have a perfect first kiss with the girl, and just focus on enjoying lip-locking with the girl for the first time. Here's how to do it:
- Look into her eyes and brush her hair out of her face. Let her know that you want to kiss her without saying so.
- Move toward her with your lips slightly parted. Kiss her and see how she responds. You can lock lips for a few seconds or even longer if she's pulling away.
- If she wants to keep kissing, then you can even try to French kiss her after a few minutes; just don't put your tongue into her mouth right away or she'll be thrown off guard.
- Gently move your hands around her waist or shoulders, but don't start groping her in inappropriate places or she'll get uncomfortable.
- Touch her more intimately. Once she lets you know that she's ready to take it to the next level, you can start touching her more intimately while you're kissing. If she moves onto your lap, or if you're on top of her, then things are getting hot and heavy. You can try running your hands over more intimate parts of her body once she's comfortable. This will turn her on and may get her in the mood for more.
- If you've been kissing for a while and she's starting to touch you all over, run your hands over her breasts, but do it very carefully to see how she responds. If she lets you know she likes it, then keep going.
- Stroke her thighs and the space behind her thighs. Keep going as long as she's letting you know she likes it.
- You can start kissing her on her neck or below her ears. You don't have to limit kissing to lips.
- Get undressed (optional). For some people, hooking up just means kissing, and if you've achieved that goal, then be happy for a job well done. But if both of you are wanting more, then it's time to go to the bedroom and start taking off your clothes. Help the girl remove her clothes gently, and don't be too forward about it.
- Don't take off all of your clothes at once. Once she starts taking hers off, you should maintain the same level of relative nudity.
- Don't make her uncomfortable by taking off all of your clothes while she's fully dressed, or by taking off all of her clothes while you still have yours on.
- Unbutton her shirt or slide it over her head. Then, take off her bra by unclasping it in the back; don't make awkward comments about how tricky it is. Just relax and you'll be able to get it off.
- Don't rush to take off your clothes. Wait for her to pull your shirt over your head or to start removing your belt.
- Once she's undressed, tell her how beautiful she looks.
- See if she's ready for more. If you want to have sex with the girl, make sure it's what she has in mind too. You should both be sober, into each other, and ready to have a good time. And being ready to have a good time means behind prepared in advance with condoms or anything else you might need to have sex.
- Don't rush into sex. Make sure you have the girl's consent first, and that she's doing it because she really wants to, not because you're really putting the pressure on.
- Even if it's clear that you both want to have sex, you should spend some time on foreplay so you're both turned on when the moment comes.
Tips
- Do not be angry if a girl rejects your advances. Be gracious, apologize and walk away.
- If she says no, back off. Consent is an incredibly important concept, especially when flirting (or going further).
- Don't ever make her feel like she's being interviewed. It won't be natural, and she will doubt your social skills.
- Know when enough is enough.
- Be safe and prepared.
- Don't necessarily kiss her on the neck. Find her sweet spot. Girls like it when a guy knows her sweet spot.
- Know whether or not you will see the girl again and, if so, what you will say.
- Do not use too much cologne - it can easily become overpowering.
Warnings
- Do not take advantage of drunk girls. Their irresponsibility is not your gain.
