Have a First Kiss
If you haven't yet experienced your first kiss, it can be a daunting challenge. Whether you are the one kissing or the one being kissed, there are certain things you could do to enhance the experience. Once you are comfortable kissing, you can try things to turn it up a notch, such as French kissing. This article assumes the reader is heterosexual, but the content should still apply to anyone.
Steps
Girls
- Make yourself kissable. Not only will these tips help you feel more confident when you go in for a liplock, they'll also send subtle hints that you're ready to be kissed.
- Wear lipstick or chapstick. Skip the sticky lip gloss.
- Keep your breath fresh. Pop a mint beforehand instead of chewing minty gum, which you'll have to find a way to spit out.
- Smell amazing. Before you meet up with your guy, shower off and use scented moisturizer or a few spritzes of perfume.
- Lean in and make eye contact. Lean your head on your guy's shoulder as if you are about to fall asleep. Look up at him - if his arm goes around to let you in, go for the kiss. If not, or if he doesn't seem to be taking things the same way you are, he might not be ready yet. Just relax for now.
- Hint that you want a kiss. There are a few things to do to plant the idea of kissing you like he thought of it. Try these:
- Look at his lips. Drop your gaze and your eyelids to half mast, then slowly, look back up at him and give him a little welcoming smile.
- Reach up to twine your arms around his neck, or lightly play with the hair at his neckline. This will let him know you are ready to get up close and personal.
- Slowly lean your face closer to his. Moving in communicates that you're ready for more contact.
- Consider taking the lead. Some guys are very shy, and even those who aren't have been drilled over and over about unwelcome touching. Consider lightly kissing him on the cheek to show him that you're okay with touch, a lot of boys worry about going too far.
- Invite him to kiss you. Yep, some guys really do need an engraved invitation. Let's say you've tried to show him you're ready, and he looks interested, but you just can't get him to kiss you. Say something like, "Couldn't we just be kissing right now?" If he doesn't kiss you then, he isn't going to.
- Keep it gentle at first. Don't bring out the tongue, teeth or strong embraces on the first few kisses. Instead, keep your lips soft and slightly parted, and avoid puckering.
- For more technique tips, see How to Kiss.
Guys
- Get confident. You've got this! So act like it. Don't slouch, shy away from her, mumble, or refuse to meet her gaze. Instead, show her that you're comfortable with yourself and she can be comfortable with you, too. Make eye contact, speak clearly, and generally act like you're confident.
- Clean up and look kissable. If you look as appealing as possible, you won't have to work quite so hard to convince her you're worth a kiss.
- Shave. Or don't. Most girls prefer a guy with a smooth face, but some like their guy's face rough. Get to know what your girl likes.
- Keep some mints handy. Pop one whenever you feel your breath getting stale.
- Try to be as generally clean as possible. Take a shower, put on some clean clothes, and wear deodorant and if you want, a bit of cologne.
- Respect her privacy. Many girls and women will not want to make out in front of others, especially if this is her first kiss. Find the right time when you can be alone. Privacy is key.
- Watch for signals. Watch carefully, because sometimes the signals can be confusing - she may flirt with you, then smack you on the head. These may just be coy games, or she may really be conflicted.
- Ask yourself these questions: Did you and your date seem to have a cozy, warm, close time together? Has she been flirting with you through body language? Has she licked her lips, or bit her lower lip while looking at you? Has she found excuses to touch you often? If you feel confident of these things, prepare to kiss!
- Make eye contact. If she is comfortable and doesn't look away, then she is ready. Lock eyes when you're talking to her, when she's talking, and during moments of silence.
- Break the touch barrier. Starting with small physical contact tells her what's coming and gives her the chance to back out if she's uncomfortable. Try these if you're not sure what to do:
- Put your arm around her shoulders
- Hold her hand
- Sweep her hair away from her face.
- Draw her in slowly. Reach around her waist with one or both arms, and gently draw her toward you. If she's interested, she'll get the hint and move in; if you feel her resist, though, back off.
- Do not squish her up against you and then grind your pelvis against her.
- Do not use a first kiss as your personal excuse to grope, grab, or get too familiar. Be a gentleman.
- Go in for the kiss. Once she's close and you're pretty sure she wants to be kissed, it's time to seal the deal!
- Look into her eyes. Notice how we mention eye contact twice? Very important. Let her know that you are really seeing her.
- Look at her lips. Aim, dude. Make sure you know where you're going.
- Lean in slowly, and gently brush your lips over hers. Don't worry about fancy technique or going quickly on the first few kisses — you can deal with that later.
- Walk that fine line and make it a really excellent kiss, one that is romantic, tender and memorable. Your mouth should not be overly opened or closed, and it shouldn't be mushy or too tight (relax). Don't let it go too long (more than, say, 20 seconds) or let it be too short (3 seconds is not enough) - think around 10 seconds or so. A tiny hint of tongue is nice if she seems willing, but make it flirtatious and not insistent. Check out How to Kiss for more technique tips.
- End it gently. Just remain silent and hug her, ending the first kiss in a lovely, intimate moment.
Test Your Knowledge
Quiz:Have-a-First-Kiss
Tips
- Do not worry about details - how much to tilt your head, when to close your eyes, how long to stay, etc. Everyone has intuition and kissing is a very intuitive activity. It will all turn out fine.
- A good way to have a first kiss is going to a movie. Simple, but effective. Hopefully your crush will hold your hand and then, gradually get closer until you're as close as you can be without kissing. S/he should get the message soon, and if s/he doesn't, perhaps s/he's just not ready.
- If you don't mind having an impersonal first kiss, join in on a game of Truth or Dare. The most popular dare is to kiss someone. Be warned though: you may end up kissing someone you don't much fancy (unless you get a friend to dare your crush to kiss you). The same is true for Spin the Bottle. (Keep in mind you have no control in the latter.)
- Keep in mind that many people are shy about kissing -- but this doesn't mean they don't want to kiss you. Pay attention to body language. If you think your someone might be suffering from this ailment, try kissing them! Just be mindful of their reaction. If they pull away, or are surprised or otherwise not interested in the kiss, be mature about it and don't take it personally. You can try again later unless you are rebuffed flat out.
- Just relax. It will make your kiss even better.
- People say this will be a moment you remember for the rest of your life, and not to blow it - just forget that. For most part, the first kiss is awkward, and nerve-wracking, and you probably will do something stupid like step on her/his toes. It's really not a big deal if small things go awry. Have fun - the other person is in the same position and s/he is just as busy worrying about what s/he is doing wrong. You'll realize when the moment is right: a semi-autopilot takes over because it's so natural.
- If you know for a fact he wants to kiss you — for instance, he's told your friends — but he's just nervous, don't be afraid to ask him! It does work.
Warnings
- Watch out for mono (mononucleosis) and oral herpes. Don't kiss anyone if they have a cold sore or something else around their mouth area; it could be a sign of herpes.
