Host an Exchange Student

Hosting an exchange student can be a life-changing experience, both for the student and for you. Becoming a host gives you the opportunity to share your culture and traditions with new people. It also gives you the opportunity to learn about how others live. Hosting an exchange student can be a challenge, but it's also an adventure that you shouldn't miss out on!

Steps

Preparing to Become a Host

1. Learn about what hosting an exchange student means. The United States Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs is a good place to start. While specific requirements may vary between programs, you will need to be able to provide a safe, secure, and welcoming place for your exchange student to live. You must be able to provide transportation and food while the student is with you. You should be able to offer support, guidance, and encouragement for a young person who may feel uncomfortable or frightened by a new culture (at least at first). Most of all, you should be interested in the sometimes-challenging adventure of representing your country and your culture to others.
   • Exchange programs are usually split into two categories. Long-term programs usually run for longer than eight weeks. They may even be a full academic semester/term/quarter or a year. Short-term programs are usually eight weeks or less.
   • Some programs have specific requirements for who may be a host family. Many programs do not. For example, the US State Department has had host families who were single adults, same-sex couples, military families, and senior couples with grown children.
2. Find a reputable hosting agency. Several government agencies run foreign student exchange programs. Many schools operate their own foreign exchange programs with schools in other countries. There are also private and nonprofit agencies that arrange for foreign exchange students to stay with host families. Whichever route you choose, do some research to make sure that you will be participating in a reputable program. The Better Business Bureau rates many exchange programs.
   • The US Department of State runs several Youth Exchange Programs. These include exchanges with students from Germany, Eurasia, South and Latin America, and several countries with large Muslim populations.
   • The Council on Standards for International Educational Travel (CSIET) is a not-for-profit organization that helps ensure quality standards for exchange education in high school. Programs listed with CSIET are likely to be responsible, reputable, and trustworthy. You can also find CSIET hosting opportunities at their website.
   • ASSE International Student Exchange Program is a major sponsor of foreign exchange programs and has many affiliated programs. They might be a good place to start your search.
3. Understand your responsibilities and benefits clearly. Becoming a host family is a lot of responsibility, but it is also a wonderful learning experience for you as well as the student you host. You are taking on the responsibility for the well-being of your exchange student. Make sure that you are ready to take on that challenge. Having a good support network in place, such as connections within your community, can help you manage this responsibility.
   • You must provide at least three meals per day for your student. You must also be able to provide transport (or access to public transport), as exchange students are not allowed to drive. Your student’s parents or sponsors will pay for their personal travel, health insurance, and program fees. In many cases, they will also give the student a spending allowance.
   • Most programs require at least one member of the household to be 25 (or 26) or older. Some programs may require host families to have at least two members.
   • You will not be the student’s legal guardian, and you will not be legally responsible for the student’s actions. However, you are expected to set a good example for your student and help them learn about local customs and laws.
   • The US State Department does not allow hosts to receive reimbursement or a stipend. They do allow you to claim a flat-rate tax deduction of $50USD per month.
4. Talk with other hosts. The best way to learn about what it will be like to be a host family is to talk with other people who have done it. If you know people who have been hosts for exchange students, ask them about their experiences! Many programs also have video blogs and online forums where you can learn about the hosting experience.
5. Apply to become a host. The application process may vary depending on the program you have chosen. Once you’ve completed your application, you will probably have an interview with a program coordinator. When that is complete, you will have a representative to help match you with a student.
   • The State Department requires that you complete a criminal background check as part of the application process.
   • Many programs will allow you to choose your student, or at least set preferences such as the student’s home country, age, and gender.

Creating a Welcoming Home Environment

1. Learn about them. The program should give you the student’s contact information prior to their arrival. Begin communicating with them before they arrive! The sooner you get to know the student, the better.
   • Ask about any allergies or dietary restrictions they may have so that you can provide appropriate food.
   • Ask about birthdays and other special events. Celebrating these in your home will help your student feel more at home.
2. Prepare a room for your student. If you have the space, give your exchange student his or her own room. S/he may feel more comfortable having his or her own space, especially in the beginning as s/he adjusts to her new home.
   • Exchange students do not have to have their own rooms. However, you must provide your exchange student his or her own bed. If s/he must share a room with your own child, your child must be the same gender as your exchange student. The children must also be within 4 or 5 years of the same age.
3. Provide a study space. Your student will need a quiet space to study and work. Attending school is an integral part of the student exchange program experience, so give them the resources they will need to do well.
   • Many students will have spending money to purchase things they need. However, providing some basic school supplies, such as pens, binders, and paper, will be a nice way to show your support of the student’s academic goals.
4. Offer meals that represent your home culture and traditions. One of the reasons students from other countries participate in foreign exchange programs is to learn about a new country and culture. Providing meals that represent your cultural background will give the student a “taste” of their new culture.
   • Make sure that you’ve gotten information from the student about any allergies and dietary restrictions.
   • Respect your student’s traditions. For example, if the student is an observant Muslim, avoid serving pork and other restricted foods. If you do serve a food that is prohibited by your student’s traditions, make sure that they have options they can eat.
   • Encourage your student to share their food traditions with you! You will discover some delicious new foods and they will get to feel like they are contributing to their new home life.
5. Give the student ways to contact home. Students may feel homesick, especially at first. Giving them ways to contact their family and friends back home will help them feel connected to their loved ones. This will make it easier for them to adjust to their new home with you.
   • Skype and other internet services offer ways to place video and phone calls, even overseas, at affordable rates (or even free).
   • Give the student access to the internet so that s/he can email home.

Interacting With Your Student

1. Ask what s/he would like to be called. Ask your student how to pronounce his or her name, and try to say it that way. Your student may even have another name they wish to go by, so asking what to call them up front can ease their transition.
   • For example, many Asian students choose to use “English” names. These may sound similar to their home-language name (e.g., “Jenny” for “Zhenni”) or may be a name they just like the sound of.
   • You should also tell the student what they should call you and your family. Many students come from cultures that place a high value on respect for elders, so they may feel uncomfortable calling an adult by their first name unless you tell them it’s all right.
   • You could even have the student offer names or nicknames for you and your family in their native language. This could be a great opportunity to learn something about your student’s language and cultural traditions.
2. Let your student know about your home’s rules. It is perfectly acceptable for you to enforce reasonable ground rules for your exchange student. For example, if your own children must be home by 10PM on school nights, you should let your exchange student know that s/he has the same responsibilities. Participating in a family’s home life is a big reason why exchange students choose an exchange experience.
   • Students on exchange programs are usually told that they must follow their host family’s rules and expectations. Other common areas for rules and expectations might include:
     • household routines
     • policies about inviting friends over or having sleepovers
     • phone and internet use
   • Remember that your student may be coming from a family with very different rules and traditions. Be patient and accept that your student will probably make mistakes just as your own children will. Remember, they’re just kids too!
3. Be open to learning. Your exchange student has come to your country to learn about your culture and country. However, the learning experience runs both ways -- this is one of the most exciting things about being a host! Never assume that you know everything about your student’s culture. Encourage your student to share their experiences and traditions with you, just as you are doing with them.
   • Even if you are fairly familiar with your student’s national culture, you don’t necessarily know what their individual and home life is like. Be open to asking questions and learning.
   • Ask open-ended questions, such as “What do you like to do for fun at home?” This will encourage the student to share their experiences with you.
4. Bring the student along, even on mundane errands. Part of the reason the student has chosen to participate in an exchange program is to learn how people in your country live their daily lives. A run to the local supermarket or department store might seem humdrum to you, but it could be an enjoyable new experience for your student. Doing everyday things will also help them feel more at home, rather than feeling like a tourist.
   • This is especially true if you are an American hosting a foreign student. American grocery stores and supermarkets are often excitingly huge to international students, who may be used to more compact shops.
5. Involve the student in local sports and activities. If your family has children, they can offer to introduce the exchange student to some of their own activities. It’s a good idea to encourage your student to get involved in school activities, such as sports and clubs. This will help them build a network of friends.
   • If your community offers fun activities, let the student know about these opportunities too. Don’t push the student into anything they don’t want to do, but let them know what options are available.
6. Show the student around. Your exchange student is in your country to be more than a tourist. S/he wants to learn about a new culture and get experience interacting with new people and new customs. However, it’s a good idea to show your student around your hometown. Let them get to know the community they will be living in.
   • If you have local attractions or landmarks, take your student to visit! Student exchange programs aren’t a vacation, but getting to see local places of importance are a big part of getting to know an area.
7. Make yourself available for questions. Your student may have many questions about the new culture they’re immersed in. Foreign customs and social matters can be very difficult to figure out as an outsider. Make sure that your student knows they can ask you any questions they have about school, daily life, culture, or anything else.
   • If your family has children, encourage them to share their own experience with the student. There’s no better way to learn, for example, how to deal with social cliques in a foreign high school than to hear all the details from a student who deals with them every day.
   • You might want to consider visiting with your school’s counselor to make sure your student is adjusting to school.
8. Don't talk down to them. Exchange students must be able to speak their host family's language with basic proficiency. There’s no need to talk painfully slowly unless they request it. Don’t assume that they don’t understand what you’re saying.
   • On the other hand, be aware that your student’s understanding of your language may be limited, especially at first. S/he may not understand everything you say. Don’t condescend to them, but be willing to repeat and explain things.
9. Be kind and welcoming. You shouldn’t treat your exchange student like a pampered guest with no responsibilities. That isn’t why the student has come to your country on an exchange program. However, you should always try to be kind and supportive of the student.
   • Remember that politeness and etiquette can be very different across cultures. For example, your student might seem standoffish to you, while they might feel as though they are just being respectful. Talk with your student about his or her home customs.
10. Make them part of the family. If you have chores or simple tasks in your households, let them be a part of it too. Chores could include dishes, taking out the trash, or even walking the dog. Most programs encourage you to involve your student in the daily responsibilities of your home life. This encourages the student to feel more like a family member than a visitor.
11. Recognize signs of trouble. Most exchange students report loving their exchange experiences. After the first few days or weeks, they will usually adjust to their new life. However, your student might have more difficulty adjusting. You should know what to look for in case your student is having trouble. Warning signs include:
    • Continuing difficulty with the language. For example, the student’s language skills do not improve even though you are involving them in conversations and explaining new concepts to them.
    • No interest in activities or socializing. Your student should be making new friends. Hopefully, they will also find activities they enjoy. If you don’t hear anything about this, it could be a sign that the student isn’t adjusting well.
    • Excessive isolation. If your student spends most of time in his or her room and doesn’t seem interested in making new friends, this could mean they are not happy.
    • Constant calls home. Too many calls and emails home can be a sign that the student is dealing with severe homesickness.
    • Behavior changes. If the student seems more anxious, depressed, or irritable than usual, they may be having trouble.
    • School performance. A big part of the exchange experience is academic. If your student isn’t performing well in school, they could be having trouble with the language or the school culture.
    • Talk with your student if you see any of these things. Offer to help find them assistance, such as a language tutor. Encourage them to see a school counselor. Notify your host program. Don’t let your student’s stay be marred because they have a few difficulties!

Tips

• Don't do any big activities the first or second day, they will still be adjusting and you don't want to throw too much at them.
• Don't be afraid to host an exchange student. Even if you think it will be annoying having them follow you around, or that they might think your life is boring, do it anyway. Chances are, it will be an enjoyable experience for both of you.
• Remember the need for tolerance. Understand that the exchange student may not enjoy what you enjoy, and he or she may not understand the nuances of the host culture. It is all too easy to "step on another's toes" if the host and the guest are not tolerant of each others differences.
• Find an organization that is in good standing with CSIET, the Council on Standards for International Educational Travel. They audit exchange organizations on a yearly basis. Most organizations ranked by CSIET operate year-long J1 visa programs, as opposed to short homestay programs.
• Some of the specifics in this article apply only to American hosts, but most of the advice can be used by anyone wanting to become a host for foreign exchange students.
• Make sure you are friendly and answer questions about something they don't know. Be a friend to them. You don't always have to hang out with them but you should at least try to be a friend.

Warnings

• In the event that things are not working out with your exchange student, first and foremost, talk to them. In many cases, simple cultural differences will lead to misunderstandings. Your student is there for a year, so you can't "ignore" little problems -- they build up, and lead to blow-ups. If you cannot mediate the situation yourself, call your organization's local representative. They are there to assist your family and the student. In extreme circumstances, the exchange organization will find the student a new home.

Related Articles

• Make a Foreign Exchange Student Feel Welcome
• Become a Foreign Exchange Student
• Be a Good House Guest
• Introduce Yourself
• Convince People You Are a Local

Sources and Citations

See also

• Be a Good House Guest
• Decorate Guest Towels
• Handle House Guests That Stay Too Long
• Be a Good Host
• Evict a Roommate
• Avoid Offending Uninvited Guests

What links here

• Become a Foreign Exchange Student
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