Ignore Everybody Around You
You wish to be able to just block out everyone and everything around you and have people avoid conversations, or any form of contact, with you, but you just don't know how. Well, the purpose of this article is to teach you what you need to do to accomplish your goal.
Contents
Steps
- Find an alternate mode of distraction. Carry a book or electronic device everywhere with you, and make sure to read or use it at all opportune moments.
- Work on something that requires your concentration. Be sure that it's portable, and demands the use of two hands and your eyes. This will make the other person think you are busy and will try to avoid interrupting you.
- When spoken to, act as if you have been torn away from something of extreme importance, and answer curtly. When possible, answer with a "yes" or "no". Turn back to your work/book immediately afterward, and resume with faked enthusiasm.
- If they continue to talk to you, use sarcasm and extensive vocabulary. Enunciate every word, as if speaking to a simpleton. Openly show your dislike of the constant chatting and end your part of the conversation with something like "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to what I was doing." and turn away before they have a chance to reply.
- At all costs, avert your eyes from their face. Do not get caught staring at anyone, this will almost certainly encourage conversation. And when speaking, look away and go back to whatever you were doing before, unless that person is of a higher authority than you, or has connections with somebody that does.
- Exhibit closed body language. If sitting, hunch over, curl in on yourself, keep your knees together, your feet tucked under you, and your elbows on your thighs. Whatever you are reading/working on should be placed in front of your face, as if to hide it. If standing, cross your arms over your upper torso, keep your gaze focused toward your feet, and shift from foot to foot, as if impatient to leave.
- Whatever you do, don´t smile. Act as if a rain cloud is over your head at all times. Scowl a lot, even more if you truly are in a bad mood. If the situation demands it, have a closed-mouth-smile or a smirk. You may not gain any friends, but that's not what you're after anyway!
- Listen to an iPod or stuff your face in a book. Live in your own fantasy world and sit in the corner by yourself. Use your phone for text messaging or calling. Go to the bathroom or out for a pretend smoke (Or real one if you do). Find a way to go home early or act tired.
Tips
- A pessimistic or anti-social view on life wouldn't hurt.
- If you do decide to read a book, make sure it is either gloomy looking, or over 200 pages long.
- Make sure you have established friends for life before launching your anti-social behavior.
- Wear dark colors. No bright pink, no sky blue, no yellow, etc. Red is acceptable, as long as it is not too bright or cheerful or has dark colors covering the vast majority of it.
Warnings
- You may be picked on.
- You may be avoided by peers.
