Kiss Someone in Elementary School

Romance, when you're younger, can be difficult. Parents, teachers and other family members usually think you’re too young and not prepared for it. In addition to that, you may not know what to do because many of these situations are brand new. Kissing someone for the first time can be scary, and you may not know how to do it. Luckily, by following techniques and paying attention to the person you like, you can have that dream kiss that you’ve been waiting for.

Steps

Convincing Someone to Like You

  1. Be social, happy, and confident. In elementary school, the people that are liked the most are people who are active and social. Being aggressive or causing disruptive behavior could make you unpopular.[1] Try to keep your temper under wraps and go out of your way to talk to other kids in school.
    • Trying different and new experiences, keeping close friends, and staying away from negative people will increase your happiness.[2]
    • Go out of your way to talk to kids in school and try to make as many friends as possible.
    • Joining a sport or club may also make you more confident and social.
    • If you aren’t known as the “social” kid in school, try to change that. Think about the way you dress, the way you talk to people, and how you interact with adults. Try to be happier and more outgoing every day until you are a more social person.[3]
  2. Try to hang out with them during recess. If you don’t know the person that you want to kiss very well, a great way to get to know them is to hang out with them during recess. If they are with a group of people, try to become friends with everyone that they hang out with. Make sure to show the person you’re interested in special attention, but don’t make it obvious to everyone around you.
    • Recess allows kids in elementary school to work on their social skills.[4]
    • A great way to become part of the group is to talk to them about something they are interested in. This can be a new video game, a funny YouTube video, or a musician that they like.[3]
    • Ask them something about themselves. You can say something like "Hey, I noticed that you have a Pokemon bag, I really like Pokemon. What's your favorite?" Think of something that they are interested in and start a conversation about that.
  3. Join their group for class projects. If your teacher lets you pick your own partner or group for a class project, make sure to team up with the person you’re trying to kiss. This will give you an opportunity to talk to them.
    • Don’t wait till everyone has picked a partner. Try to be the first one to ask them if they want to be your partner.
    • Make eye contact with the person you want to partner with. If they look back at you, there’s a good chance they will partner with you.
  4. Sit with them at lunch. Try to sit down at the same table as the person you want to kiss during lunch. This may be difficult if you’re used to sitting in the same seat everyday or your seats are assigned by the lunch aid. If you already have a table that you normally sit at, see if your friends would be willing to move their seats.
    • Ask the aid if you can change seats, if you have assigned seats.
  5. Go out of your way to talk to them and be nice to them. If you pass them in the hallway or see them after school, make it a point to say hello to them. You don’t have to stop for a conversation, but a smile and wave will go a long way.
    • If you are at an event like a birthday party or school trip, make it a point to go up and talk to them.
    • Don’t talk about kissing at first. Talk to them like they are your friend.
    • Something as simple as "Hi, how are you today?" might open up a conversation with the person. Get in the habit of doing this daily so they know you want to be friends.

Knowing When the Time is Right

  1. Talk to them about how they feel about kissing. There is a tendency for younger people in elementary school to socialize with people they don’t like romantically. Kissing may not be for everyone, so it’s important that you understand the person you want to kiss, and how they feel about kissing.[5]
    • Ask them about kissing. If they seem grossed out or embarrassed, they may not be ready for a kiss.
    • You don’t have to give away your intentions to kiss them. Say something like “My older brother kissed his girlfriend in front of me. What do you think about kissing?”
    • You can ask their friends how they feel about kissing.
  2. Think about how they treat you. If someone does not like you, they probably won’t want to kiss you. Think about how you talk and treat each other. If they are constantly telling you to go away, that you’re annoying, or that they don’t want to be around you, it’s a good sign they don’t like you.
    • If they always go out of their way to help you and always wants to talk to you, they may like you.
    • If they tease you, don’t lose hope. Some kids in elementary school tease other kids because they like them.[6] If they go out of their way to talk to you and be around you, it might be a sign that they actually like you, even if teasing is involved.
  3. If the person doesn’t like you, move on. You can’t force or trick anyone to like you. If you feel like your crush doesn’t like you, try to find someone else. It might be hard and it may make you very sad, but you shouldn’t be ashamed. There are plenty of people that will enjoy your company.
    • Try to make friends with other kids in school to take your mind off the person you want to kiss.
    • Don’t give up immediately. Don’t assume they don’t like you without trying to talk to them.
  4. Look at their body language and see how they act. If you want to kiss a boy, there are common signs that point to if he likes your or not. If he fiddles with his shirt or socks, leans or stands with a wide stance, talks with his hands, or seems nervous, there’s a good chance he likes you.[7] If you’re curious if a girl likes you, she will usually tilt her head towards you, point her feet in your direction, play with her hair, or will blush when she’s around you.[8]
    • Don’t take every action as a sign of something. Only consider this advice if this is how they always act around you.
  5. Act confidently when you’re around them. Even if you’re scared or self conscious, act like you are confident. If you smile, stand up straight, and talk clearly, it will appear like you're confident even if you’re not.[9]
    • Try practicing when you’re in other situations so you can do it naturally when you’re around your crush.

Kissing Someone

  1. Go to a spot alone with them. You don’t want your kiss to be out in the open with everyone staring at you. Try to find a place where there are not a lot of people. If you kiss in school, you may get in trouble if the teachers see you doing it.[10]
    • Other good places to kiss are at a school dance, during a school sports event, or if you are hanging out outside of school. Just try to stay out of the open when you do it.
    • Ask the person by saying, "Hey, do you want to go and hang out alone over there? It's a lot less quiet and we can talk."
  2. Gaze into their eyes. The eyes can show a range of emotions, and are important for romance.[11] Pay attention to how the other person reacts when you look into their eyes. If they look uncomfortable, they may not want to kiss you.
    • The other person will most likely be nervous. Don’t confuse this with them not liking you.
    • If you’re unsure, you can ask them "Do you like being alone with me? Do you like me?" or "Would you mind if I kissed you?" If they are not pulling away and look comfortable as you gaze into their eyes, you may not have to ask them permission because they may want to kiss you as well.
  3. Hold their hand or put your arm around them. Before going in for the kiss, make sure that the person feels comfortable with you touching them in a romantic way.
    • If the person pull their hand away, you know that they feel uncomfortable.
    • Never force physical contact with anyone. It’s inappropriate, illegal, and could get you in a lot of trouble.
  4. Touch your lips on their lips, or on their cheek. Go in for the kiss and don’t think about the consequences. This will probably be very hard to do at first. However, if you never take that first step, you won’t be able to kiss anyone.
    • For younger kids in elementary school, make sure to kiss on the cheek so that they aren’t grossed out or startled by you.
    • If you are kissing on the lips, make sure you brush your teeth or use a mint before doing it.[12]

Warnings

  • You can get in trouble for kissing.
  • You may not be emotionally ready for kissing. The suggested age according to some psychologists is 16 years old.[13]

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://www.pbs.org/parents/education/going-to-school/social/cliques/
  2. ↑ http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/15-scientifically-proven-ways-to-be-happier.html
  3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/growing-friendships/201312/popular-kids
  4. ↑ http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/131/1/183
  5. ↑ http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/publications/154-parents
  6. ↑ http://studio5.ksl.com/?nid=71&sid=19259729
  7. ↑ http://slism.com/girlstalk/is-he-flirting-with-me-5-ways-to-read-his-body-language.html
  8. ↑ http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2013/07/body-language-of-attraction/?utm_expid=40598772-17.uJs4PDefRa2HAY2q6qfXNw.0
  9. ↑ http://liveboldandbloom.com/10/self-confidence/body-language-tips
  10. ↑ http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/27/education/boy-6-suspended-in-sexual-assault-case-at-elementary-school.html
  11. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201503/loving-eye-contact-how-mutual-staring-can-create-passion
  12. ↑ https://pairedlife.com/physical-intimacy/PandasKissingHub
  13. ↑ https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/teen/dating-sex/Pages/When-To-Let-Your-Teenager-Start-Dating.aspx
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