Know if You Are Ready to Start a Family
Deciding to start your own family is a difficult decision. Although it can be one of the most rewarding areas in life, it is also demanding of your time, money, and there's no guarantee of success. Here's some things to consider on this quest:
Contents
Steps
- Assess your maturity level. Are you an adult? Not only in terms of physical maturity, but also of your emotional, intellectual, and spiritual development.
- Do you feel you can move beyond those all-night parties?
- You must be prepared to put the needs of others before your own, and willing to make sacrifices that can be painful.
- You must also be able to take care of yourself, not be dependent on others to care for you. That means that you should not count on grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, or anyone else to raise your child. (That doesn't mean that they cannot aid or support you, just that you cannot expect them to always be able to help out.)
- Are you in a stable relationship? While there are successful single mothers & fathers, your best bet for success, happiness and well-being is love, compassion and support from a spouse who is committed to both you and your baby.
- Talk to your spouse. Bringing a baby into the world, or a child into a family in which both parents aren't both thrilled about the arrangement is not fair to anyone. You both need to be on-board.
- Assess your finances; it takes more than love to raise a baby or child. Try to estimate the cost of baby supplies, clothes and furniture as well as other things you may need such as day care.
- Consider how much you know about raising children. You can take parenting courses, babysit nieces and nephews and the babies of friends. Find out what you would be getting into. But don't be too afraid; while parenting is difficult, every parent learns with every child as life moves on.
- Assess you ability to deal with the unexpected. Just like other parts of life, there are no guarantees with children. You may find yourself the parent of a handicapped or special-needs child. You may end up a single parent by divorce. You could end up conceiving triplets. While you shouldn't worry endlessly, and even challenging children can bring as much joy as any other, keep in mind that you won't be in control of everything.
- Decide if children are the right thing for this phase in your life. If you are in your 20s, you may time to find the right partner, build a career, and become a biological parent. In your late 30s or 40s you might be bumping up against your child-bearing years, although adoption is of course an option at any age.
- Decide how much you want children. On an emotional level, do you really want to be a parent? Do you feel you would miss out if you don't have a child?
Tips
- Ask new mothers and fathers about their experiences.
- You don't Have to feel 100% prepared. There may not be one perfect time to have a baby, or not have a baby. Life is rarely that clear. You may have to ultimately go with faith either way.
- Ask parents of children and teens and adults as well.
- Parents should also know how many kids they want to have so they could take measures to stop unwanted pregnancy after their last child.
Warnings
- Don't have a baby to keep a boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse. More often than not, it won't work and complicate matters further.
- Don't have a baby to have someone who loves you. Especially in the first few months, for a baby it is more a primitive need for nurturance than reciprocal love.
