Maintain Happiness No Matter What

Maintaining a sense of happiness can be easier said than done. Modern society can sometimes seem to throw a large number of problems at even the most content person. But by taking care of yourself, accentuating the positive side of life, and learning how to deal with stress, you can maintain happiness in your day to day life.

Steps

Taking Care of Yourself

  1. Exercise regularly. Regular exercise releases a variety of neurotransmitters that improve your mood.[1] Find exercises that work for you and do them regularly. Even brisk walking, if done often enough (and briskly enough), has significant health benefits.[2]
    • The US Department of Health and Human Services recommends that most healthy adults get at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity per week or 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity, combined with strength training at least twice per week. Aiming for at least 30 minutes of exercise per day is a good starting goal. [3] Always check with your doctor before beginning any sustained exercise program.
  2. Maintain good hygiene and personal health. Get enough sleep every night, floss regularly, eat healthful foods, and take care of your personal appearance. Doing so will help keep your mood elevated.
    • If you drink alcohol, avoid heavy drinking. Consuming more than 5 drinks per day or 15 drinks per week (for men) and 4 drinks per day or 8 per week (for women) can interfere with sleep and lead to long-term health problems such as liver and heart disease. [4]
    • Dress in clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Don’t let other people tell you how to dress unless you know them well and trust them to make the right decisions for you.
  3. Find a hobby you like. A fun hobby can be a great way to take your mind off of whatever is bothering you. And whether it’s yoga, reading literature, or playing the guitar, developing skill at your hobby will increase your confidence. The key is that as with exercising, find something you like to do regularly. And while solo hobbies are great, group hobbies are a good way to meet new people and expand your social circle. There are plenty of websites that can help you find people who share your interests.[5][6][7]
  4. Keep a list of goals. Writing down your goals can help keep you focused on achieving them. Be sure to include the steps you’re taking to realize your goals. The more detailed the plan, the better.
    • One of the more well-known ways of setting goals is known as the S.M.A.R.T. system. This stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely. Making sure your goals fit all of these criteria will increase the likelihood that you will achieve them.[8]
    • A goal such as “Get in shape,” for instance, does not fit all five of the S.M.A.R.T. criteria. While it sets a goal of getting in shape, it does not establish what success will look like or measurable benchmarks of how this goal will be achieved. Nor does it specify if it can be attained in a realistic timeframe. A better way of framing this goal might be “Lose 20 pounds over the next 6 months by exercising at least 3 times a week for 1 hour at a time while eating at least 5 servings of fruit and vegetables per day.”
    • Revisit your goals periodically to reassess them. What seems realistic at first might prove unrealistic. Alternatively, a goal might turn out to be easier than you thought it would be. Be proactive about revising your goals and the steps necessary to achieve them while continuing to challenge yourself to be better.[9]
  5. Seek help if you need it. Persistent unhappiness may be rooted in serious mental illnesses such as major depressive disorder or social anxiety disorder. A history of abuse can also contribute to unhappiness or depression. There is no shame at all in seeking professional help if you need it.
    • Don’t wait to seek help. Seeking help as early as possible can prevent a small problem from developing into a bigger one. This is particularly true with mental illness. If people you trust are expressing serious concerns for your physical or mental well-being, listen to them. You don’t need to go it alone.[10][11]
    • Professional therapy can be beneficial for those struggling with mental illness. There are many different types of therapy available depending on your specific situation.[12]
    • Meditation may also be useful for those going through a tough time. Regular meditation can help relieve pain and stress. It can also help boost your immune system, encourage a healthy lifestyle, and improve your overall physical health.[13][14]

Accentuating the Positive

  1. Build-Self-Worth. To stay positive and maintain your happiness no matter what, it is important to recognize your value and learn to appreciate yourself. Having self-worth means that you do not base your value on what other people think of you, the job or title you have, or any other external factor. If you have self-worth, then you will see yourself as a valuable person no matter what.[15]
    • Try making a list of all of the things that you value about yourself that have nothing to do with your relationships with other people, jobs, or other external factors. For example, you might include in this list that you are creative, honest, and compassionate. You might also include things like your interests or skills, such as knowing how to play the guitar, being an avid reader, or enjoying fishing.
    • Leave out items that have to do with external factors, such as how much money you make, things other people have praised you for, or items you own.
  2. Be at ease with yourself. No matter what, you are a unique person with much to offer the world. Everyone has flaws, but by accentuating the positive aspects of your personality, you can begin to eliminate negative thoughts about yourself.
    • A good starting point for being at ease with yourself is to not try to please everyone. Many people think that they have to “fake” their way through life because others won’t like them if they don’t seem successful. But playing that kind of role can leave you deeply unhappy. Focus on being the best version of yourself that you can be while surrounding yourself with people who care about your well-being.[16]
    • Surround yourself with people who care about you. Remember that if people try to pressure you into doing something that you don’t want to do, they don’t have your best interests at heart. Developing a close-knit and caring social circle is a great way to be at ease with who you are.
  3. Maintain a sense of variety in your life. If you rely on short-term events or material goods as sources of pleasure, you may feel depressed over the long term. That is because you’ll get used to each short-term pleasure and your mind will need more and more stimulation over time to stay happy. Inject a sense of variety and spontaneity into your day-to-day life so you can avoid feeling like you’re stuck in a rut.
    • Try surprising your spouse or partner with a weekend getaway, or expand your skillset so that you can take on new tasks at work.[17]
  4. Appreciate the little things in life. Any time something good happens to you, remember to savor the moment as much as possible. Never take anything positive for granted. Be grateful for little moments of joy in your daily life.[17]
    • Try stopping for 10-15 seconds to think about a happy event. Remember to focus on why the event makes you happy and what kinds of pleasure you derive from it. Making this activity part of your daily routine can help you cultivate a positive attitude, which will have positive effects on your health in the long term.[18]
  5. Avoid focusing too much on negative situations. Many people ruminate too much on their mistakes or other bad situations while forgetting good things that they have done or that have happened to them. This is understandable because the human brain is hardwired to look for threats. But excessive negative thinking can be bad for your health.
    • When you have negative thoughts, try stopping to write them down. Doing so can help you put the thoughts in better perspective. For instance, thinking that you constantly forget to do something may look silly once you’ve committed it to paper. By subjecting negative thoughts to analysis rather than dwelling on them, you’ll find it easier to develop a positive outlook.[19]
  6. Give as much of your time and money to others as possible. Helping other people regularly can improve your mood. Whether it’s spending quality time with friends who are going through a rough patch, volunteering at a charity event, or donating money to charity, helping people will also help you feel good about yourself.[20][21]
  7. Be grateful for what you have. Don’t take anything for granted. Show gratitude as much as possible, whether to your spouse, partner, parents, children, or friends. Make sure they know how happy you are to know them. If they know you appreciate them, they will appreciate you even more, which can only improve your self-esteem and mood.[22]

Handling Stress

  1. Use relaxation techniques. Managing stress is crucial for being happy. To ensure that you have your stress under control, try to make time to relax every day, even if you only have a few minutes. Some activities you could try include:
  2. Keep a schedule. Maintaining a schedule of all the tasks you need to do will help you avoid feeling overwhelmed. Try to plan out your day as much as possible so that deadlines don’t sneak up on you. Writing things down can also help you avoid forgetting to complete important tasks.
    • Carve out some time for yourself each day. By prioritizing “me” time in your schedule, you will increase the likelihood of actually being able to enjoy yourself.[23]
  3. Don’t panic. A little bit of stress may help you focus during a crisis. A lot of stress, however, may prove counterproductive. That’s because your brain may shut itself off to only a few possible solutions.
    • When faced with a problem that seems unsolvable, don’t react by doing the first thing that comes to mind. Think carefully and logically about the problem before taking any action. And control your breathing by taking slow, deep breaths. Breathing too quickly can lead to heightened anxiety, which can only worsen the problem. [24]
    • Contrary to popular belief, “taking out your stress” by punching a pillow or doing something similarly violent will not help reduce your stress. Reacting to stress violently will only heighten it over the long run, since your brain will condition itself to believe that violence is an acceptable means of dealing with stress. [25]
  4. Talk to people you trust. By sharing your feelings with parents, friends, or your spouse or partner, you won’t have to go it alone. Other people can help you cope better than you can on your own. Additionally, they may come up with solutions that you didn’t think of.[26]
  5. Keep your eye on the big picture. Stressful events may seem daunting or permanently life-altering in the moment. But by stepping back and asking yourself questions like “What are the potential long-term consequences of this?” you can put the event in proper perspective and come up with a lasting solution.[27]



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Sources and Citations

  1. http://www.apa.org/monitor/2011/12/exercise.aspx
  2. http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/12/04/why-a-brisk-walk-is-better/
  3. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/fitness/expert-answers/exercise/faq-20057916
  4. https://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/fact-sheets/alcohol-use.htm
  5. https://www.meetup.com
  6. http://groupspaces.com
  7. https://www.meetin.org
  8. http://hrweb.mit.edu/performance-development/goal-setting-developmental-planning/smart-goals
  9. http://guides.wsj.com/management/strategy/how-to-set-goals/
  10. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3022639/
  11. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19744058
  12. http://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Treatment
  13. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/19/meditation-benefits_n_5842870.html
  14. http://news.mit.edu/2011/meditation-0505
  15. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201406/how-much-do-you-value-yourself
  16. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/prescriptions-life/201405/why-you-need-let-yourself-be-yourself
  17. 17.0 17.1 https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-success/201208/how-keep-happiness-fading
  18. https://www.uwhealth.org/news/practicing-happiness-tips-for-maintaining-a-positive-attitude/41860
  19. http://www.forbes.com/sites/travisbradberry/2015/07/07/stay-positive-or-your-health-and-performance-suffer/2/#2765d5c4fd92
  20. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/bianca-hayes/8-ways-to-maintain-your-happiness_b_8920590.html
  21. https://www.ajnr.org/content/35/8/1447.full.pdf
  22. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bianca-hayes/8-ways-to-maintain-your-happiness_b_8920590.html
  23. https://www.acponline.org/membership/medical-students/impact/archive/august-2013/medical-student-perspective-4-tips-to-maintaining-happiness-and-sanity-in-medical-school
  24. http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/hyperventilation
  25. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ulterior-motives/200909/you-cant-punch-your-way-out-anger
  26. http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pub/coping_with_stress_tips.html
  27. http://psychcentral.com/lib/4-tips-to-change-the-way-you-deal-with-stress/

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