Make Someone Feel Better Via Text Message

Do you have a friend who you want to cheer up, but they aren't with you right now? Maybe you want to give a hug or pat on the back, but all you have with you is your phone. The next best thing you can do is to make them feel better with a text message. If you want to cheer up a friend with the right text message, just follow these steps.

Steps

Making a Friend Feel Better

  1. Ask the other person what's wrong, just as you would in person! When a friend goes to the effort to clarify that something is wrong in their text message, it usually means they want to talk. Don't shrug them off, be willing to listen. As such, showing concern lets your friend know that you care and that you're willing to engage in a morale boosting text session. That's always a start to cheering someone up.
  2. Let your friend explain the dilemma, and be a good listener. Even with phone screens separating you, there are still ways to show that you're genuinely "listening" and receptive. While your friend tells the story, you can text little comments like, 'That's awful', or, 'I'm so sorry about that'. However, overdoing it can have the exact opposite effect, so make sure your words sound (and truly are) genuine. Space them out so that you're not crowding the text conversation.
  3. Say the things that you know will be most comforting. All friends have slightly different reactions to words of commiseration or support, so make sure to phrase your responses with the particular person's known reactions in mind. Definitely avoid saying anything that smacks of "I warned you" or "I told you so".
    • Remember that miscommunication is especially easy when you can't hear the person's tone of voice.
    • Avoid trash talking another person if they are the reason your friend is upset, especially if the third party is another mutual friend. Fights can be resolved, but you can never take back words you say in the heat of the moment.
  4. Let them know you wish you could be there in person to cheer them up, especially if your friend is someone you are interested in. Say things like "I wish I could be there to give you a hug" or simply, "I wish I could be with you right now with a box of chocolates to make you feel better!
  5. If you are talking to someone who's just a friend, so you don't want to give out the wrong idea, try saying something like "don't be sad, the future always holds something better. However, genuinely respond in an empathetic way, otherwise you may sound callous.
  6. Give your friend some suggested advice about the problem. Friends help each other out, and so, your willingness to aid will show your friend that you do care and want to help try to make things better. The great thing about text is that any advice given needs to be short and to-the-point, usually the best kind of advice!
    • Sometimes no advice is best. Sometimes just agreeing to listen and being there for your friend is the best answer. Don't give advice if it's not wanted or if you don't have all the facts before you.
  7. Try to help your friend to look on the bright side. Taking a friend's mind off the negatives is helpful to making him or her feel better. You might like to do this with a short and obviously funny joke, a quick anecdote about something amusing, or even a funny photo or video you have to share. You might even make your own funny face, photograph it, and send that to cheer up your friend!
  8. Use emoticons. Many phones come with emoticon menus that let you pick the one that is most appropriate for the moment. Generally, the standard emoticons are 'happy', 'very happy', 'angry', 'sad', 'excited', 'laughing', etc. If your phone doesn't have emoticons, you can use smilies. The standard smile is ':)', but, like emoticons, smilies cover a broad range of emotions. Using them in Send Text Messages is cute, fun, and helps to better convey your feelings, which can sometimes be difficult in a texting medium.
  9. Use symbols like '<3'. This particular symbol depicts a sideways heart and all heart symbols are cute, clever, and very useful in showing your affection and support. Another good one is 'XOXO'. And don't forget the value of simply saying "hugs". That can convey more than many other words could ever do.
  10. Know when to end the texting. If your friend seems incredibly upset, end the texting. Either arrange to catch up face-to-face with your friend as soon as possible or suggest that you talk on the phone or Skype rather than text. Alternatively, you may sense that your friend is getting distracted and wants some time out from thinking about their problems, and this could be a good time to stop texting. And if all you get back from your friend are lots of smiles and hugs, you've done your job of cheering them up and you can tell them you'll catch them later.

Making Your Crush Feel Better

  1. Don't exploit the opportunity. You can use this time to show someone you care about his or her feelings, and you genuinely want what's best. However, don't take it as an opportunity to ask someone out at a vulnerable moment when his or her judgment might be compromised. Try to act with the best intentions and seek to comfort this person above all else.
  2. Be as supportive as you would be for a good friend. Listen carefully, take his or her side, and don't say things like "I told you so" or "Well, it's kind of your own fault." Keep the golden rule in mind - how would you want someone to treat you in this situation?
  3. Lift the mood with a subtle compliment. A nice compliment will make most people smile at least a little bit. Consider these tips:
    • Time it right. Don't awkwardly jam a compliment into the conversation when your crush is in the middle of explaining why he or she is upset. Instead, wait until the issue has died down a bit, or your crush seems tired of discussing it. This is the right moment to turn the conversation around and try to make it uplifting.
    • Don't be too obvious or crude. Now is probably not the time to focus a compliment on how great your crush's body is, or how much you want to date him or her. Instead, compliment something you admire about your crush's personality or skills. You'll be communicating that you care about the person, not just the physical traits. Something like "I really admire how you've handled this situation. You're an incredibly strong person" or "I can't understand how anyone would turn down someone as kind and beautiful as you" would be appropriate.
    • Plan to end the exchange shortly after the compliment. You don't want the conversation to stall or go downhill after your compliment, or the effect won't be as meaningful. Know when to bow out. After he or she responds to the compliment, start exiting.
  4. Offer to continue providing support. Before you end the conversation, saying something like "Text me again if you still need to talk" or "Can I check up on you tomorrow?" sets you up to continue the interaction later. It also shows him or her that you're willing to follow-up and make sure the situation is resolved.
  5. End with a cute send-off (optional). Instead of just saying "bye" at the end of the conversation, you can say something a little cuter. Try "I hope your dreams are sweeter than your day was!" or "Have an awesome afternoon. I can't wait to talk to you again later," or something along those lines, for a more creative sign-off that might make the other person smile a bit.

Tips

  • Type as if you were speaking to that person. What would you say if (s)he was standing right in front of you, confessing his or her problems?
  • Try to be as comforting as possible. That'll show that you're a good friend.
  • Try to avoid using text abbreviations such as "lol" or "lmao" while trying to comfort a friend. While it's great to try to lighten the mood, this isn't the best way to do so. These abbreviations could give a friend the idea that you aren't taking his/her worries seriously.
  • You never use "lol" because they might think you're not taking the situation seriously.
  • While chatspeak is often used in text messaging, sometimes it can make messages difficult to read and comprehend. If a friend is in a bad mood, they could easily misread a chatspeak text, and fail to grasp its intended meaning, possibly worsening his or her mood. Therefore, be mindful of how you use chatspeak, and, if possible, keep it to a minimum.
  • Send a message using asterisks (*) as a quotation mark (") for actions such as: *hugs* *gives cookie* *kisses on cheek*.
  • Think of things that make them laugh. Try to make them forget about the hard time and give them a smile.

Things You'll Need

  • Cell phone
  • Words of encouragement and support
  • Funny jokes, photos or videos to send (optional)

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