Make a Genuine Apology
In life, everyone needs to make an apology, you need to make people think you mean it, you should mean it anyway if you want to make genuine. Life skills! It often happens that you have mixed feelings, that the subject is not a simple situation, not black and white, but the apology is needed to smooth things out, and you are willing to apologize in order to do that.
Steps
- Know what you did wrong. Whether it was on purpose or an accident, admit that you did it. People like honesty.
- Keep it simple, being careful not to start up a fight, a disagreement, or open up the situation for further discussion or recriminations. Stick to the idea of re-establishing a good relationship. This is not the time to work out and dissect events.
- Be prepared to meet resistance. Be prepared for it to take some time for your apology to be processed. This may be a long moment, a few minutes, or even days or weeks. Be patient and hopeful. Sometimes apologies have to be repeated. Don't let pride keep you from calling or writing again. The injured party may have trouble calming down, they may remain hurt or angry, and you must persist within reason. It is important to keep follow up messages light and casual. One must understand when to stop the effort as well.
- It helps to say, "This is a genuine apology, I mean it from the bottom of my heart, I have thought about how wrong I was in that matter, and I hope you will accept my apology.
- Be polite. An apology will be better accepted if it is sincere.
- Remind the person of all the positive history you have between you. For instance, "I am sorry I forgot your birthday after all these years. Your friendship means so much to me I hope you will forgive me."
- Try not to smile. Smiling generally expresses happiness but you should be serious. If you want to smile, try to have an apologetic smile.
- In some situations a small gift may serve as a token of apology. Often people use flowers, or pay for lunch if they are eating together. You might say, "Let me get this check, it's my pleasure." If you know a person's favorite things this can be more personal. Wrap a small gift in attractive paper or bag and bring it with you for your apology; it will serve as a little sweetener to the situation. Or say, let's go to lunch, it would be my treat.
- Express yourself. Refer to the person, talk about what you have done, and why it won't happen again. Don't say, "I hope." It should NEVER happen again.
- Don't do it again! An apology is saying sorry. Sorry means not doing it again. It's supposed to be genuine.
- In some more complicated situations it may serve better to say, "I will work on this negative quality that I have of bringing things up at the wrong time. I see that it is creating problems for everyone."
Warnings
- The largest concern is that your apology may not be accepted and the relationship may be forever lost or degraded.
- It is also possible that the person may remain very angry or hurt despite your apology. In this case you may see results later if you are patient, but you may not. To avoid this, never apologize immediately after doing some bad things such as making a personal attack causing the person to cry. In this sort of case, save any apologies for later.
