Motivate Kids to Do Well in School

Motivated children are more likely to do well in school, and they are more likely to have a positive attitude towards learning. Often times, the missing ingredient to get a child motivated to do well is something as a simple as adapting assignments to the child’s preferred learning style. Other factors, such as setting appropriate expectations and demonstrating the importance of school to your child through your own behaviors, can help make your child motivated to do their best in school.

Steps

Setting Appropriate Expectations

1. Talk to your child. To motivate your child to do well in school, it’s important to get your child’s perspective on their interests and abilities. Listen to your child and offer your own observations as to where their greatest strengths lie. You may be surprised to learn that you child is interested in a subject that you weren’t aware of.
   • For example, you might ask, “What’s your favorite subject in school? What makes it your favorite?” or “What’s your least favorite subject in school? Is it because you’re not interested in the subject or you think it’s too hard?”
   • Don’t dismiss your child’s interests if they don’t line up with your own. For example, if your child loves literature and you rarely read, don’t tell your child that literature is useless. Instead, find a way to support your child’s interest—for example, you might offer to take them to library on Saturdays.
2. Adjust your expectations. Set your highest expectations for your child with the subjects that most interest them and where they have the greatest ability. Make it clear to your child that with subjects where they have little interest or ability, you still expect diligent effort but you will consider them successful if they try their best.
   • For example, if you child excels in math and loves the subject, tell them that you expect them to get straight As in math. On the other hand, if they have trouble with social studies—memorizing state capitals, for example—tell them you expect them to put in thirty minutes of work on the subject every night. Tell them that as long as they put in the work, you’re not concerned about the final grade.
   • If you’re afraid your child simply isn’t trying hard enough in a particular subject, and that’s why they’re doing poorly, making them work in that area every night will quickly decide the issue. If they just needed to work harder, you’ll see their grades rise. If they really have little aptitude for the subject, at least they’ll be learning to put effort into difficult things.
3. Help your child set goals. Goals are important for children to measure their progress and to feel a sense of accomplishment. The right goals can help motivate your child to put in the extra effort to do well in school.
   • Write them down. Children, like, adults, are more likely to put the effort into completing a goal if its written down. Post the list on the refrigerator or on their bedroom door so it’s conspicuous.
   • Make them specific. Instead of a general goal like “improve reading comprehension,” make the goal specific. For example, “Raise English grade from B- to B+.”
4. Break tasks down into manageable chunks. Looking at a giant pile of work to be done can be overwhelming. If you break the workload down into daily tasks, it can lessen the stress of having to work on many different subjects every week.
   • Set out specific daily activities that can help your child achieve their homework goals. #*For example, you might write, “Spend fifteen minutes studying assigned reading material every day. Spend another five minutes discussing the material with the teacher or a parent.”

Demonstrating the Importance of School

1. Project a positive attitude about school. Children pick up on adults’ attitudes towards the world and reflect those attitudes back. If you disparage school or treat it as something unenjoyable, your child will likely see it that way too.
   • In the morning, try to be upbeat about the coming school day even if you’re not a morning person. This will help teach your child that school isn’t something to dread. For example, you might start each morning by asking your child what they’re looking forward to most during the day.
   • Instead of talking to your child about how they “have” to go to school, talk about school as an opportunity for your child to learn interesting things and see their friends every day.
2. Have a positive relationship with your child’s teacher. Keeping in touch with your child’s teacher serves two purposes. First, it shows your child that you’re personally involved with their learning experience. Second, it allows you to share questions and concerns with the teacher and get their first-hand perspective on how to help your child do their best.
   • Attend parent-teacher conferences whenever they are held. This is the time your teacher sets aside to talk with you directly about your child’s performance and how they might improve.
   • Talk to your child’s teacher before or after school. If you drop your child off in the morning or pick them up in the afternoon, set aside five minutes to speak to their teacher about any issues your child may be having.
3. Set aside space for homework. Create a study area in your house that is dedicated to homework time. Having this space will reinforce the importance of school to your child and they’ll see that you take school and homework seriously.
   • Make the space comfortable and inviting, but free of distractions. For example, tape your child’s goal sheet over the desk and include a few plants to liven up the area.
   • If possible, place the study area away from the living room and your child’s bedroom. This will cut down on distractions like TV, computers, and conversation.
   • If your child has trouble staying focused, a separate space for homework will ensure that they stay on task. You can even set a rule that your child can’t leave the homework area (except to use the bathroom) until they’ve completed their homework.
4. Relate learning to the real world. A common excuse from children for their lack of interest in school is that it’s “boring” or not relevant to their real lives. If you can find ways to relate school-work to your children’s everyday lives, they’ll be more inclined to feel interested in the material.
   • Start by asking your child what they want to be when they grow up. If they have an idea, talk about what is required to get there. For example, if they want to be a doctor, talk about the importance of science and math.
   • Keep up with your child’s curriculum and look for areas where you can provide real-world perspective. For example, if your child is learning about medieval history, find a museum that has displays of armor or other artifacts from that time period.

Encouraging Your Child

1. Acknowledge your child’s efforts. Children are more likely to feel motivated to keep trying when their efforts, instead of their accomplishments, are acknowledged. Acknowledging your child’s efforts lets them know that hard work is more valuable than specific results.
   • If your child does well on a test, comment on their hard work. For example, you might say, “Your hard work really paid off on this test.”
2. Use descriptive words to encourage your child. Descriptive words are different than the usual kinds of evaluative praise we give children. Evaluative praise involves judgments like “good” and “bad.” On the other hand, descriptive words simply relate true observations, such as “you got all of your homework done on time.”
   • Words of praise such as “this is really good” teach your child to rely on someone else's assessment. On the other hand, descriptive words such as, “This paper really demonstrates your knowledge of the material,” is just an observation and has no evaluative judgment. Thus, it will teach your child to form her own positive self-assessment.
3. Encourage your child even if they don’t do well. When your child doesn’t perform up to their expectations, provide encouragement in the form of constructive advice about how to do better the next time.
   • For example, if you child does poorly on a math test despite studying hard, tell them that the two of you will work on a different study method for the next test.
   • Never put down your child’s efforts. If you criticize your child after they put in effort, they’ll feel like there’s no point in trying.
4. Be kind yet firm. If your child isn’t’ living up to their potential or is simply refusing to do their homework, you should make it clear that you expect them to do better. However, you don’t want to be overly critical or push your child away.
   • Tell your child that if they don’t do their homework you will start taking away privileges such as TV and videogames.
   • Avoid judgmental words. Never tell your child that they’re stupid or lazy.
   • Make it clear that any punishment is simply a way to motivate your child to do better. For example, you might say, “TV is taking up too much of your time and you’re not getting your work done. If you can show me that you can get your work done with time to spare, I’ll let you watch TV again.”

Supporting Your Child’s Learning Style

1. Notice your child’s learning style. Children learn in different ways. If you notice whether your child is primarily an auditory, visual, or tactile learner, you can help your child develop more efficient study habits.
   • To figure out your child’s learning style, watch how they try to figure out a math problem. If your child is a visual learner they will probably want to see a picture of the quantities in the problem. If they’re an auditory learner, they may want to recite the problem out loud. If they’re a tactile learner, they may want to touch real objects that represent the quantities in the problem.
2. Adapt homework to your child’s learning style. Most homework can be adapted to fit one of the three primary learning styles. Training your child to do so will help your child learn more easily and teach them a valuable skill that will keep them motivated when they encounter difficult problems.
   • If your child is an auditory learner, have them read math problems or book chapters out loud. For memorizing, have them use mnemonic devices that use familiar phrases or make use of alliteration. For example, if your child has to remember the four states of matter, suggest the mnemonic Parents Get Lazy Sometimes.
   • If you child is a visual learner, have them turn math assignments into visual problems. For example, if it’s an addition problem like 8 + 9, have your child draw eight coins on one side of a line and nine coins on the other side. To help your child absorb reading material, have them draw out a plot line or draw a picture of the characters.
   • If your child is tactile learner, help them finds ways to turn assignments into hands-on projects. It’s not always possible to translate assignments into tactile projects, but if you give your child lots of objects and space to work with, they will often find creative ways to make problems tactile.
3. Encourage your child to experiment with other learning styles. Although children have primary learning styles, it’s important for them to get comfortable learning through other means since they won’t always have the time, space, or materials to translate assignments into their primary learning style.
   • For example, if you notice your child always reads math problems out loud, encourage them to try one problem by drawing it out instead of talking out loud.

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• Encourage Your Lazy Child to Study

Sources and Citations

See also

• Ready a Young Child for Ballet Class
• Inspire Creativity in Your Kids
• Resolve Classroom Management Issues
• Compliment Your Kids
• Catch Students Cheating
• Encourage Kids to Read
• Play an Active Role in Your Child's Education
• Motivate Students
• Create a Positive Classroom Atmosphere
• Raise Smart Children

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